Marketing typos so bad that you’ll blush

September 19, 2012

Jeez, Louise! Are agents typing their listing remarks while perched on bar stools at Hooters? My advice to each of you: you misunderstood the drunk on the bar stool next to you when he mistook you for a bright Rhodes Scholar. He actually said, “Wow, what a bright nose color!” After reading these MLS bloopers, your cheeks may be rose, too:

Dare I Inquire?

“Do nut park in back” (Sign at L.A.P.D. headquarters.)

“A grate deal” (Are you selling homes or Parmesan?)

“Bestiful jew carpet” (Is there also a Fiddler on the Roof?)

“Charming porch swinger” (Send the sleazeball home to his wife.)

“An offer you can’t reuse” (Why bother to claim intellectual property rights with no glimmer of intellect in sight?)

Uh, What’s That You Said?

“Big square feets, needs attention” (…Winced the president of Nike when asked why Sasquatch’s endorsement contract was revoked.)

“Very roomy herse” (…Exclaimed King Henry VIII on his way to his super-sized tomb at Windsor Castle)

“Beautiful custom fins” (…Whined my high school boyfriend in an attempt to rationalize his hairdo to my father.)

“Really hog property” (…Beamed Kermit to Miss Piggy as he presented her with the keys to her new trough.)

“Chew paints & carpets” (…Ordered  Viola Vermin when her rug-rats complained about the lack of snacks in their little backpacks.)

I’m Sorry I Asked

“Whip feet pls” (Directions on a box of Jello Toe Jam Pudding.)

“9p008 Spring Valley Rd” (Reason # 1 why you should never “p” in a strange place.)

Advertise with The American Genius

“Youll enjoy exotic pants” (Only if your name is Psy and you’re doing it Gangnam Style.)

“Lots of estra barking” (Probably not a good selling point unless your client is Benji.)

Too Much Information!

“Please to ck pubic reckors” (I believe there’s a purple lotion that will those little buggers.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

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I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.


  1. Wow!
    You never seem to run out of these!
    (thats bad)

    •  @Rob McCance
       Rob, that’s because stupidity is in surplus!

  2. @ShayRealEstate Thank you so much, Shay!

    • @SherlockofHomes anytime; thank you for sharing!

    I find the tips very useful. It seems that you have several years, experience in the real estate sector. I have heard that most of the real estate business men are talking about major investment in the real estate as the prices are down for the time being.

    •  @keelinganthony_1 I agree, Anthony. The market is heating up fast as investors jump in so they won’t miss the window. We are also seeing a lot of foreign money, because countries like China know it’s a great time to invest in the U.S. All I can say is – YAY!

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