chopping center

Near chopping center: Up front & off-center on the MLS?

February 19, 2014

chopping center

Here we go, my friends – another round of MLS and local real estate blunders. Thank you for all your contributions. It seems this year is off to a stumbling start nationwide with hilarious bloopers:

Out of the Gate!

“Must be approved by our blender”  (Methinks you drank what was IN the blender.)

“Lvg rm rig included” (Sign on Jed Clampett’s old homestead.)

“Near univarsity” (And yet so far off-base…)

“Waist pipe installed” (Hmmm- outpatient liposuction?)

“Subject to canceltration” (Ouch – cancel and cut off their b_ _ls!)


Around the Bend!

“No repairs will be mad”  (But my buyer may be…)

“Across from Rivesside Chatter School” (No doubt they’re chattering about your spelling.)

“Hovering above Sunset Blvd.” (That’s just a shadow from Kim Kardashian’s derriere.)

“The stove is disfunctional.” (If you live in a glass house, beware of flying stones…)

“New chopping center coming soon” (It seems they’re developing my old neighborhood in New Jersey…)

At the Finish Line!

“Sliders open up” (If they’re White Castle sliders, what will open up is your colon.)

Advertise with The American Genius

“View from treetops” (Mused the misguided parachutist..)

“Swamp cools house” (Hence the giant mosquito eating your face.)

“Opporturnity to expand”  (And yet you’re so under-developed…)

Bringing Up the Rear

“Call – we provide de tail” (If you’re providing “de tail,” I hope you’re in Nevada.)

“Near Thigh Town – (That’s close to the place where I got pregnant.)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
It all started with a puff of smoke Let me start by saying that I rarely use this platform to point out the ills of business based that I experience first hand, but about once a year, I have an experience either so amazing or so terrible, that I share…
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I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

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