Gone To Waste
“MUST be accompanied” (Welcome to Hollywood, where someone is always horning in on your act.)
“Tall pams sway in the breeze” (Is anyone missing a women’s basketball team?)
“Call or don’t go” (Gee, Friendly Fran, does your welcome mat say, “We cook small children”?)
“Nice back dried up” (Oh, I just thought you were breaded.)
“Very small car garage” (Cue the music, Mr. Sondheim: “Send in the clowns…)
Obviously Wasted
“Don’t let peeling pant influence you” (If anyone peels off his pants around me, it better be Clooney.)
“Good Tues tenant moves” (Does one of his moves involve peeling off his pants?)
“Beware of windy rod” (Apparently Dennis Rodman is still shooting off his mouth.)
“In NOT area” (So NOT interested!)
Waste Not, Want Not
“Just powder washed” (Obviously you’re referring to your nostrils.)
“Good place to hick” (Hello, Duck Dynasty.)
“All retorts good” (Then maybe YOU should be writing this blog.)
“Lawn just spayed – avoid grass” (I’ve been spayed, too, so should I snuff out my doobie?)
“Wilden driveway” (That’s what happens when the neighbor’s steal the key to your liquor cabinet.)
The Winner By Process of Elimination
“Must peequalify with our lender” (First let me practice my aim.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell.
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.