The science behind getting people to like you

It is human nature to want to be liked

On Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the feeling of being well liked takes up a significant chunk of the pyramid. It is human nature to constantly compare ourselves to others, even subconsciously. We draw parallels and cringe at perpendiculars, unwittingly measuring the distance between the perceived success of others and our own current situation.

But what if I told you that the trick to being liked is to like others? What if I told you that, to be an interesting person, you need to be interested in other people and things? And what if I told you that in order to acquire friends, you have to be a friend, yourself?

I know it sounds pretty simplistic, and also kind of philosophy-student-degree-y, but think about it. Think of your first day at a new job, when you finally meet the person who approved your application in person. First impressions are everything, so you know how critical this initial introduction is to your tenure at this company.

If she trudged into the room, eyes down, and introduced herself with low energy, you might think the meeting was awkward and that she wasn’t happy to hire you. If she marched in and rigidly announced her credentials, squeezing your hand entirely too hard when she shook it, she might rub you the wrong way. You wouldn’t particularly like her in either of these instances, because it would seem like she doesn’t like you.

The secret: like attracts like

Now imagine the opposite: In walks your new boss, bubbly and brimming with positivity. She looks you in the eye, shakes your hand, smiles, and says, “We are so excited to have you on our team!” You automatically like this woman. Why? Because she is friendly. You like her because she likes you. You will become her friend because she is already acting like yours.

The secret, in summary, is that like attracts like. If you want something from the universe, you better start putting it out there first. That whole law of attraction thing is the real deal.