What’s wrong with the real estate industry? Part-timer queens

The part-timer queen

Six years and two weeks ago, I wrote an editorial on another industry site that is still referenced today, and because I have been asked about it twice this week, I thought I would share it with you here today. It is one of my biggest pet peeves regarding the real estate industry, far above many agents’ inability to return a simple phone call. Enjoy.

The line was short, the wait was long

The line was only two people deep at the UPS Store the other day but it seemed to take forever! I had simply made four copies and wanted nothing more than to slap a dollar on the counter, holler “keep the change, no receipt, thank you” and walk out. Here in Austin, the service isn’t always at the speed of light because people take the time to say hello and ask about family (we’re convinced we’re a small town despite the continuing population boom). I felt validated in my hurry hurry attitude because I was on my way to mass and didn’t want to be late, so COME ON, MOVE IT!

Regardless of my toe tapping, the last woman in front of me didn’t even notice the overly emphasized sighs as she put her chest on the counter. Yes, her chest- her very padded push up bra that was very stressed out to be a part of her wardrobe held her business up to the counter. I think she was trying to impress the 17 year old cashier (who wasn’t impressed with the cougar chick). After several more minutes of waiting, waiting, waiting, she finally cashed out. Hooray, this is it, I’m almost out of here!

But no.

“Hey, if you ever have any odd requests, here’s my card.” The guy asked “so what do you do?” She did the hair flip over the shoulder with her stringy mane of 1980s hair band blonde mess and said, “I’m so glad you asked! I’m a licensed massage therapist and so is my husband! If you are ever stressed out or know anyone who is, I’m great with my hands…” Eww. He didn’t act grossed out, what a gentleman. “Great, I’ll pass this along.” She picked up her purse and I inched forward, knowing I was already late for mass.

“Oh, and my husband is an EMT and I also sell jewelry- perfect for the upcoming holidays!” She offered a little high pitched giggle as she hoisted her over-stressed boulder holder up some more. “Cool. Okay, have a great day.” And then came the kicker that I had clenched my fists waiting for because I just KNEW it was coming…

“Don’t forget- if you know of anyone looking to…” (everyone say it with me now) “buy or sell a house…” (DOH! I KNEW IT!!!) “please have them call me, I’ll buy you lunch if they tell me you sent them.”

I knew it. I just knew it. #eyeroll

Even the teen knew how ludicrous this 10-job chick was. “So you’re a renaissance woman, huh?” He laughed and she thought it was a compliment (but it wasn’t). Another giggle and she actually moved out of my way. I interrupted her attempt to talk more with him by saying, “four black and whites.”

The sad part of this story is that I knew this prowling cougar had a real estate license- I mean why not? She’s got so many other hats, why wouldn’t she wear this one? I realize that many of you have several jobs other than real estate, but when you present yourself in public, please, for the love of God, just present ONE of your many jobs. It is truly an embarrassment to the profession that pink-lace-boulder lady is out pimping houses, rubbing people down, watching her husband sew up gashes while she strings rocks together for Christmas. Pick one, stick with it and quit embarrassing the rest of the people in each of your various professions.

When I hear people list off several jobs they have, I never ever ever take them seriously. My thought is, “oh, so you couldn’t make money doing X so you had to pick up Y, Z, H and M? I’m certainly not in need of half-assed services, thank you.”

Part timing isn’t a sin

A while back, April Groves wrote about diversification and I actually applauded her. Today, she writes about her job description as doing “whatever [she] wants to do” and I applaud her still today. Sounds hypocritical, right?

Wrong – the key is that if you hold several jobs, make sure they are all tied together or you look like a pathetic hack. With a common theme, they are all under the same umbrella which is perfectly acceptable, just make sure you’re not telling yourself they are all under the same umbrella. Selling hand cream, real estate, boats and copiers part time don’t all qualify as sharing an umbrella because they are all “sales,” sorry.

Even in Texas where we all have Southern common courtesy, we will laugh at your hairsprayed ‘do as you leave if you’re the part timer queen.