National Association of REALTORS Convention 2014

It’s Novermber 2014…

…and we are all excited about the NAR convention this year.

I can’t wait to go through Finance World where we find the latest on nano-mortgage technology from Bank of United States (the company after the B of A/Citibank/ J P Morgan Chase merger) where an iris scan and fingerprints get done and the each borrower with less than 20% down get to do the new PMI, Person Mortgage Insurance, where they assign one of their friends or relatives as collateral until the loan gets paid down to 78%.

Ah, then the new key sharing device from GeBallMart (the merger result of GE, Major League Baseball and Wal-Mart) which makes your take the SATs again (paying the 475 Euro fee) in order to do a digital iPhone7.9 puzzle in order to be escorted into a property from a member of Blackwater Realty Security Services (a subsidiary of the CIA- a deal made in order to get people health care).

Ah, and the special speakers.  There’s inspiration on how to turn your life around when there are only 11 trashy women in your life that you sleep with.  Amazing how you can go from one sport to another and then to another and go from the lowest lows to the highest highers.  Yes, I am talking about Professional Bowling’s superstar, Tiger “Balls” Woods.

I can’t wait to hear was he has to say about life’s ups and downs now that my fellow agents and I have had the commissions we make revealed to the buyer before they even see a house and how the government maximized the maximum amounts to $500 for door opening/agreement and $1000 for door opening/agreement and settlement attendance.

Just like the mortgage brokers that got messed with in 09/10, we should have seen it coming but instead we lived high on the hog and laughed at the public and especially Congress.

But I can be thankful for the fact that I don’t have to fly on UseLess Airline and stay at the MarryRot in the beige rooms with the bed bugs that are the size of New York rats, I can stay home and see all that’s happening on my SuperMac 7 Apple computer with smellovision, video and scan-pay ability.

The best and the worst part is no real hangovers!