It’s Un-Real Estate, folks…
and just when you thought you heard ‘em all…
How About These Marketing Strategies!
- Kids Play Rum (And agent apparently drinks it.)
- Main house and carnage house. ( Bugsy Siegel must have lived there.)
- Home Made Hiney rolls served (Do I get Wipes with that?)
- Two minutes to Strip (Can you buy me dinner first?)
- Club foot tub (Getting those special shoes on the tub must have been a killer.)
- Sheik contemporary (A modern house in Dubai?)
- New pole in back yard for outdoor fun (Must be the Bunny Ranch.)
- Bring your fuzziest clients (Including your hairy mother.)
- Special tanks to those who donate. (Wouldn’t an AK-47 suffice?)
- Beautiful Sanitarium for Sunny mornings. (Electro-shock anyone?)
- Major stone coming to the neighborhood. (Ouch, that will be hard to pass.)
- Newer constriction. (Try a colonic.)
- Own a piece of heathen. (Ah…the Bunny Ranch again…)
- House rises above the street. (The David Copperfield Estate.)
- New cemen driveway ( I’ll bet it’s near the Bunny Ranch)
More Kinky and Quirky:
- Private Studo above garage. (How convenient – give him my number!)
- Large dick for entertaining (Hmmm, does this belong to Studo?)
- Dog runs on one side (Maybe he only has 2 legs)
- Built in stereo and TB (Is this the house with the sanitarium?)
- Bogus room downstairs (Can I submit a bogus offer?)
- Room for bunker beds (Archie and Edith lived here.)
- Seasonal creep runs alongside the road (Is his name, Studo?)
- Stoned patio. (Someone Bogarted that joint.)
- Statutes in garden (Was this a law library?)
- Owen doesn’t work. (Kick his butt to the curb… Then call Studo.)
- EZ access for mountn sports (An elevator to Studo’s pad above the garage?)
Rede Twice, Use Spell Czech, and Lern Englesh
- “Dance andf art studio” (For classically trained farters)
- Disclosure: Pet ceminary nearby. (For pets going into the ministry.)
- New lightening in pool area (That’s a killer deal!)
- Submit with FUCO scores. (Because this is a FUCO house?)
- Proof of funs needed (Isn’t the pole out back proof enough?)
- Low interest rats (Vermin that are bored easily)
- Seller is a crapenter (He obviously does sh—y work!)
- Rod in bedroom goes with seller, so please don’t ask. (Don’t flatter yourself, Studo!)
- Diamond in the Ruff (Well, pump the poor dog’s stomach!)
- Bar-B-Q Pet in Back Yard (Apparently Ruff didn’t survive.)
- Looking for Hot Buyers (Ugly folks need not apply.)
- Big yard with “squirls and Rabies.” (Sellers frothing at the mouth to make a deal?)
- Comes with dick and dingy (Sean Penn and Jessica Simpson?)
- Drawing for Special Prixe (You ain’t that special, Studo.)
And This Week’s Favorite:
- Kids Play Rum (And agent apparently drinks it.)
- Main house and carnage house. ( Bugsy Siegel must have lived there.)
- Home Made Hiney rolls served (Do I get Wipes with that?)
- Two minutes to Strip (Can you buy me dinner first?)
- Club foot tub (Getting those special shoes on the tub must have been a killer.)
- Sheik contemporary (A modern house in Dubai?)
- New pole in back yard for outdoor fun (Must be the Bunny Ranch.)
- Bring your fuzziest clients (Including your hairy mother.)
- Special tanks to those who donate. (Wouldn’t an AK-47 suffice?)
- Beautiful Sanitarium for Sunny mornings. (Electro-shock anyone?)
- Major stone coming to the neighborhood. (Ouch, that will be hard to pass.)
- Newer constriction. (Try a colonic.)
- Own a piece of heathen. (Ah…the Bunny Ranch again…)
- House rises above the street. (The David Copperfield Estate.)
- New cemen driveway ( I’ll bet it’s near the Bunny Ranch)
More Kinky and Quirky:
- Private Studo above garage. (How convenient – give him my number!)
- Large dick for entertaining (Hmmm, does this belong to Studo?)
- Dog runs on one side (Maybe he only has 2 legs)
- Built in stereo and TB (Is this the house with the sanitarium?)
- Bogus room downstairs (Can I submit a bogus offer?)
- Room for bunker beds (Archie and Edith lived here.)
- Seasonal creep runs alongside the road (Is his name, Studo?)
- Stoned patio. (Someone Bogarted that joint.)
- Statutes in garden (Was this a law library?)
- Owen doesn’t work. (Kick his butt to the curb… Then call Studo.)
- EZ access for mountn sports (An elevator to Studo’s pad above the garage?)
Rede Twice, Use Spell Czech, and Lern Englesh
- “Dance andf art studio” (For classically trained farters)
- Disclosure: Pet ceminary nearby. (For pets going into the ministry.)
- New lightening in pool area (That’s a killer deal!)
- Submit with FUCO scores. (Because this is a FUCO house?)
- Proof of funs needed (Isn’t the pole out back proof enough?)
- Low interest rats (Vermin that are bored easily)
- Seller is a crapenter (He obviously does sh—y work!)
- Rod in bedroom goes with seller, so please don’t ask. (Don’t flatter yourself, Studo!)
- Diamond in the Ruff (Well, pump the poor dog’s stomach!)
- Bar-B-Q Pet in Back Yard (Apparently Ruff didn’t survive.)
- Looking for Hot Buyers (Ugly folks need not apply.)
- Big yard with “squirls and Rabies.” (Sellers frothing at the mouth to make a deal?)
- Comes with dick and dingy (Sean Penn and Jessica Simpson?)
- Drawing for Special Prixe (You ain’t that special, Studo.)
And This Week’s Favorite:
Thanks again to the MLS, the LA Times, the New York Times, and LA Magazine for your unwitting contributions.
