After reading the MLS this week, as well as some of the Blooper Blog submissions I get from all over the country, all I can say is, “Yeesh!” I’d like to believe that the perps’ brains were just fried from the summer heat, but I fear the problem may be larger than that. I think some brains should be reported missing. Thanks again to Jane Peters of L.A. for a great find. Check out these classic bloopers:
Sizzled and Fizzled
“Full service bldg w/ many aunties.” (Embroidery on the purple pimp hat proudly sported by “nephew,” Five-Felony Freddie.)
“Wash and dry ex” (Do I get to hang him afterward?)
“See our ass in Sun paper” (No doubt that will be right after I see your a_ _ on the unemployment line.)
“Toot mush to describe” (You need to lay off the beans, pal!)
“Jewelry hiddin in transitional neighborhood” (…By a guy who stole it from a Beverly Hills neighborhood.)
Boiled and Spoiled
“Massive light so bright” (Just wait until they inject the Sodium Pentathol…)
“Hole house nice” (Yeah, if you’re Brer Rabbit.)
“Nooner later” (Okay, but only if you buy me dinner first.)
“Big house trout” (That’s what happens when you build too close to the water.)
Roasted and Toasted
“2 houses in nice spit” (I assume the seller and the missus are tobacco chewers?)
“Residents with new plumbing” (Got tired of using Depends, huh?)
“All butt deposit reqired” (Stool sample anyone?)
“Seller removing stan on walls” (Stan, I told you if you filled yourself with CO2 you wouldn’t float!)
These Need a Fire Extinguisher
“Do not lay on ned” (Apparently Ned prefers to be on top.)
“Please kock up” (Personal license plate of Vinny, the Viagra salesman.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!
