“Use your infatuation” (The last time I did that, I woke up at Elvis Chapel in Las Vegas.)
“Sellers can’t eliminate till Aug” (Yeesh – I suggest a coffee enema and a firecracker.)
“Wall at end of gavel” (Explained Judge Judy when asked why a wooden handle was projecting from a surly bailiff’s throat.)
“Move in before dependence day” (Let me guess: What you said to Grandma on the drive to the nursing home?)
Plucky One, Aren’t You?
“Call re fundling details” (My high school boyfriend used that as a pick-up line.)
“Blast house on the street” (Offered by Beano and the Pooper Shooters.)
“A very private place to love” (Gushed Monica as she tucked in her G-string and departed the White House.)
“Duck upon entree” (So that pile of feathers once had webbed feet?)
“Seller will caddy back” (You just hit a perfect hole-in-one-head.)
When Do I Get The Bill?
“Open house with food and swig bags” (Great – a satchel to carry my Jim Beam!)
“We guarantee a fat close” (Said Chris Christie’s surgeon when asked about the nail gun on the surgical tray.)
“Landlord pays with gas” (I do, too, every time I eat a Reuben.)
“Walt in back needs repair” (If Walt’s front looks good, give him my number.)
Daffy All The Way
“Enjoy the planes landing” (Well at least that explains the airline attendant clinging to your roof.)
“Celing shags in living rm” (Agent must have shagged the seller to get this listing.)
That’s all for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!