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Realtors and their MLS bloopers – “ducs for hazzards”

I love television, but I am beginning to believe it is the downfall of mankind. It seems people spend more time scanning the tube than studying. As a result, our psyches are imbued with TV trivia, while our spelling skills are atrocious.  

I get contributions from all over, folks, so this is not just an L.A. “thang.” Check out this week’s spelling anarchy:

Put Down the Remote, Pal

“Seller pays ducs for hazzards” (Bo, Luke, Daisy, it’s cha-ching time.)

“New – Pam Dessert” (If you’re referring to Pam Anderson for dessert, get ready for a stampede.)

“One miley from intersection” (May I assume this listing is in the state of Hannah Montana?)

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“Extra car parts” (David Hasselhoff’s driveway after an all-nighter.)

Quacks and Hacks

“A win-won for all” (Thank you, Long Duck Wong.)

“Furniture and rags negotiable” (…Just in case you plan to open a car wash.)

“Mosaic floor in foyer boasts inlaid brass and ox” (Mosaic floor in PETA  foyer boasts inlaid agent…)

“Needs TOC” (Offered by Hickory Dickory of  Mouse Ran Up The Clock Realty.)

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“Tenant occu pies” (Hmmm…tenant’s eyes in a pie…wouldn’t a damage deposit be more humane?)

Another Manic Monday?

“Two banglos on a lot” (Attention, Susanna Hoffs, I found the rest of your band from the eighties!)

“Very nice plac” (Are you quoting your dentist?)

“Hipo and trendy neighborhood” (Isn’t this rhino discrimination?)

“Bar and s tools incuded” (Methinks the biggest tool has already hit the bar.)

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Alphabet Explosion in Austin

(Contributed by our own Lani Rosales via Lily Aleksander.)
“This is one the most desirable one bedroom in the 360 towers. Fantastic views of the cty and  amd Lady Bird lake..Granite counter top stainless still appliences. hard wood floors in the kitthcen and carpet in living room and bedroom. ..a build in was is just babulows, totallty privacy and yeat letting lots natural light in..”

Hellooo??? So how did those shock treatments work out for you, dear?

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Joe Loomer

    July 15, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    I'm STILL trying to decipher that last one – and I spent 21 years as a freakin' linguist!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

    • Cheryl Johnson

      July 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

      @Joe, I am going to guess the translation is: "Seller pays DUES for … (this next oneis the tricky one) for …. HOMEOWNER ASSOCIATION maybe, or HAZZARD INSURANCE of some kind ???

    • Gwen Banta

      July 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm

      Joe, I think maybe the guy meant "docs"? Or maybe he was just having a seisure…

  2. Rachel LaMar J.D.

    July 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    These typos and grammar errors drive me nuts when I find them, and I normally let the agent know about his/her mistakes. It is definitely not professional! If you can't edit your own work then have someone do it for you – but PLEASE don't publish until you do!

  3. Gwen Banta

    July 31, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Rachel and Cheryl, thanks for reading. I think I am going to become a translator, because some of these are actually starting to make sense to me. I'm becoming one of the inmates!

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