Her royal hat-ness
You can say toe-may-to, and I can say toe-ma-toe, but we both need to spell it properly unless we want to come off like morons, no? Well, you decide. The MLS apparently has come out with a new dictionary I didn’t know about: The MLS Garble Edition.
Read it and weep:
“Hat property” (Beatrice, luv, that toilet seat on your head is shat property, and requires a good dump.)
“1 bd – real germ” (Yep – reason # 2 to NEVER participate in an orgy. Reason # 1: an unexpected fire drill.)
“Retaining wall shited” (You would, too, if you were hanging onto a L.A. hillside during a 6.7 shaker.)
“Recently samblasted” (That’s what we say every time my Uncle Sam eats cabbage.)
“Won bedroom” (Lost in nasty divorce.)
“Dog seltzer” (For dogs with hang-overs I presume?)
You Say Tomato, I say…
“Italian tiles and minor carpeting” (If the minor carpet is in L.A., it no doubt has fake ID’s.)
“Miner work needed” (The helmet with the light and the canary were a dead giveaway.)
“Pocked listing” (I hear Proactive is very effective for that.)
“New constriction” (Have you tried a Fleet enema?)
‘Roamin shades” (Is that like roamin’ black-outs when the electric company is jacking us around?)
“Former home of famous tart” (I’m guessing Paris, Lindsey…or Liberace.)
Auto-Fill Blooper of the Week
“For those with disturbing taste.” (That’s what my mother said when I brought my ex home…)
Even Webster Didn’t Plan For This!
“Watch head, ponch hangs low ” (I don’t know who ponch is, but maybe he should consider a jock strap…)
“New irritation” (That’s what happens when your ponch hits the pavement.)
Thanks to Patty DaSilva and Jane Peters for their hilarious contributions this week. That’s it, friends. I need to rest my shattered psyche now. Remember – Spell and Sell!