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“No funds, no fun” and other advertising slip ups

Advertising is hard work, especially for people without a spell checker or common sense. Below is proof, but be warned – you will laugh.



Hi, friends – as usual, there were a lot of gaffes and laughs in the MLS and real estate advertising outlets this past week. Thanks to Michael Jacobs of Pasadena for his hilarious contribution about a very special townhouse. Thanks also to Patrick Martin of Los Angeles for some great finds, including a house on Nimrod Lane (I’m serious, folks). Enjoy:

Cold and Colder

“Submit proffof ffunds” (It seems someone spilled some ice down her knickers…)

“New single reticence” (The alimony ought to loosen you up.)

“Great for irritating” (Let me guess – the first words your mother ever said to you?)

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“No powder” (I’ll bet I know who sniffed it all…)

“Your buyers will thin you” (Only if they’re packing Liposuction machines.)

Old and Older

“Seller to contribute for  cream cheese ceiling removal” (What’s he going to do – scrape it onto a bagel?)

“Offers reviewed Wedding day” (Are you planning on auctioning her at the altar?)

“You’ll love the ground” (Can I can get a pickle and a side of fries with that?)

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“Curved stares” (If you’re implying that I am cross-eyed, well I’m not. I’m drunk.)

Bold and Bolder

“Watch the bats go by” (If I do, I’ll be wearing a hair net and swinging a tennis racquet.)

“This turkey townhouse” (It seems the seller went from one dumb bird to another…)

“Live the good lift” (I would if I could afford a cosmetic surgeon.)

“New Swedish in shower” (Cue the music to Mr. Ed: A Norse is a Norse off-course, of course….)

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“No funds, no fun.” (This may not be incorrect, but it’s just plain funny!)

Stoned and Stoner

“Electric decor” (Grumbled Vinny “Vice Grips” Vitangelo as he was escorted down the Green Mile.)

“Call for inflammation” (Are you curing or spreading?)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

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