There’s been a lot of butane in the air this summer, friends, and it seems some people have sucked in a bit too much. As evidenced by these dizzy comments and MLS bloopers, hamburgers aren’t the only things that have been fried:
It’s Miller Time
“Old gas hater” (Yeah, it’s worse after it ripens for three days.)
“Nearly perfecy” (I trust your judgement about as much as I trust John Edwards’.)
“Thill your buyers” (They’re “thill” my buyers, but I doubt you “thill” have “thellers.”)
“This dog has potential” (Your delivery doctor’s remark when he slapped you on the a_ _ ?)
“Need new vet” (Have him check you for distemper…)
Round Two!
“JUST NEEDS TLB!!!” (As in “Take Less Benzedrine”?)
“New construction – herd hats required” (Trying to capture the elk market, eh?)
“Buy now – good rats” (I’d rather stick my tongue in a George Foreman grill.)
“Bring your ow designer” (The “ow” usually comes with the bill.)
“Can walker to activity nearby” (Apparently there’s an opening at the San Andreas Fault Seniors Center.)
“Submit fist” (Step #1 in “Paying an arm and a leg.”)
Bottoms Up
“Beautiful home overlooking coaster” (I just love it when drinks are on the house!)
“Coced ceilings!” (Coked agent!)
“Experience the lap of lusurey” (Most often heard pick-up line at Bubba’s Booze-N-Barf.)
Man Down
“Garage attacked” (Bubba’s explanation for how the Chevy pickup impaled the garage door.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!
