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13 Ways To Slay Self Doubt



UnchainYourBrainSelf Doubt.  The Opposite Of Laughing At Your Own Jokes.

I image it’s normal.  Self-Doubt.

It chokes my heart and jacks with my head.  Self Doubt questions constrict and conflict me.

Am I smart enough?

Am I clever enough?

Am I flexible enough?

Am I old fashioned?

Am I good looking enough?

Am I lazy?

Am I boring?

Does anyone really care?

Does any of this crap really work?

If some of this crap works, which crap is it?

When it works am I dumb-lucky or good?

Will it last?

Will it end?

Am I funny?

Do I have ANY talent?

Do people like me?

Do I like myself?

Am I good enough?

I’ve learned to mask, subvert and most often, slay it.

Do you Self Doubt?

If you do, I’ll share 13 ways I slay Self-Doubt.  But first, let me set my context.


Today’s frantic pace of life is relentless.

I’ve been around along time.  Fidy-2 years, 30 years in the RE biz.

In the old days, it was semi-peaceful.  Imagine no iPhones.  No eMail.  No internet.  No Facebook.  No blogging or Tweeting.  No rush, rush Fed/Ex. No computers. No cable TV.   I don’t remember what we did with all our free time?


Today we run a frantic pace.  Choices seem unlimited.  Change and challenge is relentless.

This is the world we live in:

Click 2 Play This Video - Buckle Up

Click 2 Play This Video - Buckle Up

More Competitors.

Higher Expectations.

Steeper Learning Curves.

The Fast Eat The Slow.

More Sophistication.

More Knowledge.

More Uncertainties.

More Possibilities.

More  opportunities to Self-Doubt my ability to realize my possibilities and opportunities.

Does an inner voice ever whisper sour Self-Doubts to you?   Here’s 13 Ways I Slay-Self Doubt.  This list isn’t perfect, foolproof or complete.  I’m hoping you’ll leave what works for you in the comments – that’d be cool.

13 Ways To Slay Self Doubt

I begin by listening to my Self-Doubt self talk.  I don’t ignore it or Self-Doubt myself for Self-Doubting.  I don’t punish or berate myself.  I know Self-Doubt is my normal, and my quirky friend.

  1. I’m learning you can’t make a Cat Bark.
  2. I’m learning I can’t control outcomes that involve other people, I can only control my actions.
  3. I’m learning that giving my best IS good enough.  Some will, some won’t, so what.  Next.
  4. I’m learning when I miss my mark, I can mope, blame and make excuses, or learn, adjust and redirect.  If it’s important, I redirect.
  5. I’m learning Lincoln,  “You can please some of the people all the time and you can please all the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time”.
  6. I’m learning to discern the difference between what’s sincerely important to me and what I’ve been conditioned to think “should” be important to me.  I’m choosing “sincere”.
  7. I’m learning that some days are just crappy days.  That’s life.
  8. I’m learning that performance, weather, seasons and life all ebb and flow like Costa Rican waves.
  9. I’m learning life is not a sprint and it’s never over until I quit.  Sometimes it’s smart to quit.
  10. I’m learning that letting go means letting go, not sorta letting go or carrying it lightly.
  11. I’m learning to recognize haters and ignore them.
  12. I’m learning to enjoy The Now more.
  13. I’m learning that my self-worth is not determined by others, but by myself.

Bonus: I’m learning that my Self-Doubt can illuminate opportunities for improvement.

Hit Submit

I’m almost through writing this post.  I’ll let it sit and simmer.  I’ll tweak this and chop that.

Before I click SUBMIT, a shadow of Self-Doubt pauses my finger.  I wonder is this post any good?  Does anyone really care?  Am I a good writer?  Will this help anyone or is it just an exercise in delusional egoism?

I’ll give it another read.  Tweak, delete, add, tweak.

It’s not my best, it’s not my worst, it’s good enough. I know it’s impossible to please everyone, so I’ll please myself.


Wonder what I’ll write about next week?   Will it be good enough….


OK.  As I said earlier, I can use all the help I can get.  I’m certain, we’d all love to hear other ways to Slay Self Doubt. Care to share?  What works for you?  Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Clink-Cheers.  Thanks for reading.

Ken Brand - Prudential Gary Greene, Realtors. I’ve proudly worn a Realtor tattoo for over 10,957+ days, practicing our craft in San Diego, Austin, Aspen and now, The Woodlands, TX. As a life long learner, I’ve studied, read, written, taught, observed and participated in spectacular face plant failures and giddy inducing triumphs. I invite you to read my blog posts here at Agent Genius and On the lighter side, you can follow my folly on Twitter and Facebook. Of course, you’re always to welcome to take the shortcut and call: 832-797-1779.

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  1. Tina McManus

    July 13, 2009 at 7:28 am

    Thanks for this post. It was like the voice in my head – with humor. Good advice.

  2. Joe Loomer

    July 13, 2009 at 8:51 am


    I like #’s 2 and 6. Although I will say that in certain situations, your actions can control the outcomes that involve other people – or at a minimum influence them.

    Number 6 – for me – ties in to the Millionaire Real Estate Agent concept of “The Big Why.” Learn what’s important to you, and use it as the foundation for everything you do. If you have your “Why?” right, everything else can feed positively off that. Your “Why” is yours to choose, it can be for love of family and a want to have an abundant life, it can be anything – a desire to earn enough money to go play golf for a year straight – wanting to hit the million dollar GCI level -doesn’t matter – it’s YOURS.

    If you get the “Why” wrong, however, you can easily end up with more self-doubt.

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  3. Mike Price

    July 13, 2009 at 10:05 am

    I’ve had the opportunity to provide services to the RE industry almost half of your 30 years. I’ve been lucky enough to have you as a friend almost that entire time. Despite your tenure you say constantly what few in the industry can after 30 years..”I’m learning to…”

    I remember the day I came to your office many years ago for a meeting and saw a copy of “The Cluetrain Manifesto” on the shelf behind your desk. We’ve been swapping books since. How many of your contemporaries did you have a cup of coffee with and discuss the impact of that now classic tome? In my opinion you’ve set a standard by which the words “Continuing Education” in the real estate industry should be blown up and re-built.

    Few people in the industry have done a better job of embracing the challenges of change while respecting what can be learned from the professionals who have built strong books of traditional business. What have I learned from admiring your style of sales management? One of the best ways to overcome self-doubt is to know what you’re talking about and knowing who to turn to if you don’t.

  4. Matt Thomson

    July 13, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Don’t mean this to sound preachy, but when my self doubt creeps in (as it did prior to writing this comment) I try to remind myself that it’s not all about me. There’s a greater purpose in this life than making myself happy. I remember that Jesus called us friends, and while I was still a sinner, he cared enough to die for me despite all of my faults.
    It’s tough to get down and worry when you realize you are that important.

  5. Reuben Macias

    July 13, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Pretty basic stuff, just have to remember to stop and take a deep breath and remember the stuff. Good little article…

  6. tomferry

    July 13, 2009 at 1:31 pm


    Nicely done piece Ken … Your “#4 I’m learning when I miss my mark, I can mope, blame and make excuses, or learn, adjust and redirect. If it’s important, I redirect” was great. When things like this happen, I say: “declare it perfect” the way it is and then just move on. Self doubt is a tough critic to shake, so reminders like this are really important for us all to read.

    Also, thanks for the video share. Awesome to watch!

    Here’s to us all hitting “SUBMIT” and making things happen!


  7. renee kische

    July 13, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    This is fantastic! Just what you need on a day of “self soubt”. Thanks for the laughs

  8. Ken Brand

    July 13, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Tina – Thanks. Yeah, those voices can be pesky and our best friends, whisper, whisper.

    Joe – Great point. “Why” is the question we should be asking ourselves, daily…keeps us on track. Thanks.

    Mikey My Man – Thanks for the compliment. I’m a life long learner because real estate is pure “pay for performance”, if you’re not learning and reinventing….bad things happen….hell, bad things happen even when you reinvent like Edison. And you’re bull-eye on the money, you don’t have to know everything, but you gotta know who does or how to find them. Cheers Mike. Thanks.

    Matt – It’s not preachy – it’s passion brother. That’s an X factor. Rock On and thanks.

    Tom – Amen. Great point – Hit Submit till your fingers bleed, then hit it again. Thanks.

  9. Erion Shehaj

    July 13, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    YES! This post is good enough plus a bag of Sunchips worth of overflowing eloquence.

    I find that sometimes the best way to slay self doubt is to lean on your foundation: family and friends.

  10. Ken Brand

    July 14, 2009 at 7:28 am

    Reuben – Check. It seems it’s all about the basics. Focus on those and the rest clicks into place. thanks.

    Rene – Thanks:-)

    Erion – I’m with you. You gotta have a strong core and Sun Chips. Cheers.

  11. Brandie Young

    July 14, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    If you were a woman “Does this make me look fat” would be near the top of the list…
    Sad, but true, for some reason we find it easier to believe our doubts than the accolades others offer.
    Thanks for this post. It was very good. It was very helpful. You rock! xo

  12. Carolyn G-Tu

    July 14, 2009 at 10:18 pm

    Ken this is a very good list and one likely many of us stuggle with – I’m with Brandi it is too easy to believe our doubts instead of focusing on our strengths. Many times we are too close to things and that is where friends and family can help us see the bigger picture.

  13. Ken Brand

    July 15, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Brandie – Too true. SD runs wide and deep. Thanks for the compliment. Cheers.

    Carolyn – Thanks. Encouragement from friends and family is a beautiful thing. Not everyone has that, sadly, some have friends & family who start and fuel the Self Doubt conversation. Uggg.

  14. Missy Caulk

    July 17, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Ken, I had seen that video before but it was well worth to watch again.

    Honestly I don’t have a lot of self doubt, but when I first started writing on AG I did. Benn and I had a nice chat and he told me to “go for it”. I needed that encouragement and now I just let it fly.

    Family and friends are great resources when you are listening to the lil Devil in your mind.

  15. Atlanta Real Estate

    October 6, 2009 at 10:17 pm


    Great post. I like #7.

    Ever see this version:


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Business Marketing

Gloves that translate sign language in real time

(BUSINESS MARKETING) A new wearable tech translates American Sign Language into audible English in real time.



Advancements in technology never cease to amaze. The same is true right this moment as a new technology has been released that helps translate American Sign Language (ASL) signs into spoken English in real time.

This technology comes in the form of a hand glove – similar looking on the front side to what one would wear in the winter, but much more advanced when in view of the palm. The palm side of the glove contains sensors on the wearer to identify each word, phrase, or letter that they form via ASL, and is then translated into audible English via an app that coincides with the glove.

This is all done in real time and allows for instant communication without the need for a human translator. The signals are translated at a rate of one word per second.

The project was developed by scientists at UCLA. “Our hope is that this opens up an easy way for people who use sign language to communicate directly with non-signers without needing someone else to translate for them,” said lead researcher Jun Chen.

The hope is to make communication easier for those who rely on ASL, and to help those unfamiliar with ASL adapt to the signs. It is thought that between 250,000 and 500,000 people in the United States use ASL. As of now, the glove does not translate British Sign Language – the other form a sign language that utilizes English.

According to CNN, the researchers also added adhesive sensors to the faces of people used to test the device — between their eyebrows and on one side of their mouths — to capture facial expressions that are a part of American Sign Language. However, this facet of the technology is not loved by all.

“The tech is redundant because deaf signers already make extensive use of text-to-speech or text translation software on their phones, or simply write with pen and paper, or even gesture clearly,” said Gabrielle Hodge, a deaf post-doctoral researcher from the Deafness Cognition and Language Research Centre (DCAL) at University College London. “There is nothing wrong with these forms of communication.”

What are your thoughts on this advancement? Comment below!

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Business Marketing

Stand out with video as part of your resume (but be careful)

(MARKETING) This new tool helps you stand out in the job market, as video now dominates – so it’s possible to use this to your advantage (with caution).



job market video

In the midst of a pandemic, people are finding themselves thrust back into the job market sooner than expected due to mass company layoffs or underemployment as a freelancer. Fields are oversaturated and jobs are sparse so it can be hard to stand out in today’s job market.

Although standing out in the job market is hardly a new problem, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t use some new and creative solutions. One company, VCV.ME has designed a tool to help you get creative and stand out from your competition.

VCV.ME turns your traditional resume into a video à la Instagram stories.

The process is simple. You answer a few questions and upload a video of yourself then the tool will provide you with a sharable link.

VCV Founder and CEO, Arik Akverdian, believes that video is the future saying, “Video will represent 80% of all internet traffic by 2021 according to Cisco, and according to eMarketer 94.1% of millennial internet users were streaming digital video in 2019. With growing demand for video social media such as TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram stories, and others, we’re bringing the short video format to the job market.”

There are some obvious limitations to using this tool in your job hunt.

First, not all employers will take videos as part of an application both for technical and legal reasons.

On the technical side, many automated tracking systems are not designed to filter that kind of file, so there may not even be an opportunity to showcase it. That’s not to say there aren’t some work-arounds. Many job applications will have a place for applicants to link to their portfolio or websites. An alternate option for this tool could be to place the video introduction on your website.

Another problem with the tool is how it exposes candidates and hiring managers to bias.

As more companies work to remove bias from their hiring practices and hire more diverse candidates, a video intro just won’t fly. Some companies have removed names and even alma maters from their applicants in order to make more unbiased hiring decisions. A video introduction would expose many characteristics that people have conscious and subconscious biases towards such as race, gender, age, and ethnicity.

Although VCV.ME’s intentions are to help candidates stand out in the job market, it’s worth questioning whether they would be standing out for the right reasons, so tread carefully.

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Business Marketing

Why should you take Facebook’s ‘Summer of Support’ courses

(BUSINESS MARKETING) Every company can use a little marketing advice, well Facebook has partnered with big companies to give you some free digital marketing courses.



marketing courses

Our world has turned into a place of upheaval and unrest and we are continuously surrounded by more and more evidence of it. One thing that the majority of us are constantly seeing is announcements from companies. Some of those are about closing hours, but others are more helpful. As they all attempt to get used to this new world that COVID-19 has created we begin to see some different tactics. Some are only politically motivated, but others are more focused on helping out their communities.

Earlier this week Facebook announced that they will be putting on a six-week digital marketing education series. This series will be an extensive collection of videos with a full in depth set of courses that will cover a large amount of topics. The company has put together a cast of renowned entrepreneurs for the presenters as well.

The topics will be done in themed weeks starting on June 24th, and running through the month of July. They include categories such “The Changing World” & “Resilience”. Focusing primarily on the world that is here and now, with recommendations on how to adapt to it. With this world in a constant state of flux the push for adapting to change and staying in front of the tide is crucial for a small business.

The next two courses will be going forward with discussing “Reinvention” & “Re-Emergence”. Encouraging struggling companies to take a serious look at their potential for moving forward, or changing the things that they can to stay more on top of their client base. They also plan on attacking the confusing world that we will have when things get closer to normal.

The last two weeks are focused on community and customer care, which is actually their names as well: “Customers & Commerce” & “Community”. These will help develop a sense of how your business affects your community and the impact you have on it. Keeping that in mind you can then develop a plan for how you want your community to see you and shape things within it.

These courses are all set up for free and open to anyone. With a completely online set up with their new “Summer of Support” mini-site they are prepped to reach millions of people. They’ve organized this with a range of partners as well: Dell, PayPal, American Express, & Small Business Roundtable. A helping hand for people who wouldn’t currently be able to source things like this.

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