People hate to get “ghosted” in any situation, personal or professional. But for job seekers who may already be struggling with self-esteem, it can be particularly devastating. Ghost Reply is a new online service that will help you compose and send an email nudge to the ghoster, sending a “kind reminder” telling them how unprofessional it is to leave someone hanging like that.
Ghost Reply wants to help you reach catharsis in all of this stressful mess of finding a job. Almost all of the problems and feelings are compounded by this confounded pandemic that has decimated areas of the workforce and taken jobs and threatened people’s financial security. It is understandable to want to lash out at those in power, and sending a Ghost Reply email to the recruiter or HR person may make you feel better in the short term.
In the long run, though, will it solve anything? Ghost Reply suggests it may make the HR person or recruiter reevaluate their hiring processes, indicating this type of email may help them see the error of their ways and start replying to all potential candidates. If it helps them reassess and be more considerate in the future and helps you find closure in the application/interview process, that would be the ideal outcome on all fronts. It is not likely this will happen, though.
The Ghost Reply sample email has the subject line “You have a message from a candidate!” Then it begins, “Hi, (name), You’re receiving this email because a past candidate feels like you ghosted them unfairly.” It then has a space for said candidate to add on any personal notes regarding the recruiter or process while remaining anonymous.
I get it. It’s upsetting to have someone disappear after you’ve spent time and energy applying, possibly even interviewing, only to hear nothing but crickets back from the recruiter or HR person you interacted with. It’s happened to me more than once, and it’s no bueno. We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. Ghosting is hurtful. The frustration and disappointment, even anger, that you feel is certainly relatable. According to several sources, being ghosted after applying for a job is one of the top complaints from job seekers on the market today.
Will an anonymous, passive-aggressive email achieve your end? Will the chastened company representative suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their heads, creating a wave of change in company policy? I don’t see it. The first sentence of the sample email, in fact, is not going to be well received by HR.
When you start talking about what’s “unfair,” most HR people will tune out immediately. That kind of language in itself is unprofessional and is a red flag to many people. Once you work at a company and know its culture and have built relationships, then, maybe, just maybe, can you start talking about your work-related feelings. I believe in talking about our feelings, but rarely is a work scenario the best place to do so (I speak from experience). Calling it unprofessional is better, less about you and more about the other person’s behavior.
However, it’s unclear how productive Ghost Reply actually is. Or how anonymous, frankly. By process of deduction, the recipient of the email may be able to figure out who sent it, if it even makes it through the company’s spam filters. Even if they cannot pinpoint the exact person, it may cast doubts on several applicants or leave a bad taste in the recruiter’s mouth. It sounds like sour grapes, which is never a good thing.
There may be any number of reasons you didn’t get the job offer or interview, and they may or may not have something to do with you. Recruiters answer your burning questions, including why you may have been ghosted in this recent article in The American Genius.
Ultimately, you will never know why they ghosted you. If it makes you feel better or at least see the issue from both sides, the amount of job candidates ghosting recruiters after applying and even interviewing is equally high. Some people simply either have awful time management skills or awful manners, and at the end of the day, there’s not much you can do about that.
Focus on your own survival while job hunting, instead of these disappointing moments or the person who ghosts you. It will serve you better in the long run than some anonymous revenge email. There are other ways to deal with your frustration and anger when you do get ghosted, though. Try the classic punching your pillow. Try taking a walk around the block. If it helps to put your frustration into words, and it very well may, then do so. Write it on a piece of paper, then burn it. Or type it all in an email and delete it. For your own sake, do NOT put their email address in the “To” line, lest you accidentally hit “Send.”
The sooner you can let it go, the sooner you can move on to finding a better job fit for you.
Brandie Young
January 20, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Lisa – GREAT post!
As LinkedIn has evolved there are so many great features, but since they don’t seem to announce them, or have an easy-to-find tutorial it’s easy to miss them. (there’s that stealth marketing) It’s hard to shift to LinkedIn if you Twitter b/c you don’t get the immediate gratification of a back and forth conversation.
That being said, coming from the corporate world I LOVE LinkedIn. I can easily connect with subject matter experts in a variety of areas – and typically they are just one degree away. I’ve recruited from LinkedIn and found web development and graphic design vendors.
You hit it on the head – it is a more “professional” venue (no sheep throwing) so in many cases one may want to be a bit more mindful of presentation. But that doesn’t mean you need to lose your personality.
As a test, ask a question to see the response. A real question, not one that’s a bait to get customers. I believe there is the need for the same authenticity and relationship building as places like Twitter, so it may not be the best idea to go in pitching!
Brandie
Brandie Young
January 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm
p.s. Real Estate Connect has an active group on LinkedIn. There are currently about 500 discussions going on in that group!
Elaine Reese
January 21, 2009 at 8:22 am
I treat LinkedIN much differently than Realtor-type sites. Connecting with other agents is not my priority there. I set up a group for my former corporate company, and use it to stay in touch. IMO, it’s not a place to blast self-promo ads all over the place. It’s far more professional than that. Afterall, if we’re connected with clients (and thus, their peers/bosses), we don’t want to embarrass them.
Brian Brady
January 21, 2009 at 9:16 am
Best LinkedIn Practices can be learned here. As a 5 year member of LinkedIn and a serial user, this is one of the best FREE training calls you’ll hear:
https://www.hardtofindseminars.com/Linkedin_Training.htm
Nicole Boynton
January 21, 2009 at 11:50 am
Hi Lisa –
I update my status on LinkedIn but haven’t done much more than that. It does come in handy if you need to find other people for speaking events but I haven’t yet had a client find me from there. I will check out some of the posts you mentioned. Thanks for the information.
Laura Olesen
January 21, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Thanks, Lisa, for the article and, everyone for the comments. I have been guilty of posting and more or less ignoring LinkedIn. I love knowing where people are and being able to find them but have missed many of the features. I look forward to checking it out anew.
PS Does anyone see any value to Plaxo?
Missy Caulk
January 22, 2009 at 6:51 am
Lisa, LinkedIn is changing to keep up with how all the other social networks work.
It was first and then IMO lost relevance except to have a profile there.
Now we can bring our posts in etc…
Laura, I love Plaxo too, keeps all my contacts updated automatically.
Lisa Sanderson
January 22, 2009 at 11:06 am
Brandie: Thanks for your input. I guess I need to go and spend some time there. Honestly, I have not done that.
Elaine: Act like you’re wearing a suit on LinkedIn…got it! 🙂
Brian: Thanks for the resource!
Lisa Sanderson
January 22, 2009 at 11:10 am
Nicole: Please come back and share any insights you gain…I’m looking for help!
Laura: Never used Plaxo. I will check it out.
Missy: Yes, I’ve noticed some changes and added a couple apps. I think I need to participate in some groups to mix it up a little.
Paula Henry
January 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm
A few months ago, I started searching for ways to join local groups and was surprised to find so many. The local Chamber has a group, as do many businesses, so I joined. I haven’t been refused an invtation yet. I also found the groups to be quite active.
Eric- New Orleans Condos and Lofts
January 22, 2009 at 8:10 pm
I think they are changing as well to become a more active and more interactive network. I do not go there as often but tend to see the same realtors in all these places.
Faina Sechzer, Princeton NJ
January 24, 2009 at 6:16 am
Lisa, you are raising a very good question about what LinkedIn is or could be for real estate professionals. I have been pondering the same. The original intent was to help people find jobs through networking. Not in the way of “chit chat” on Twitter or FB, but more of finding and connecting with people that could help one find a job opportunity. To me this means somehow connecting with them personally. The same could apply to a real estate agents. Could we helps others find connections in the corporate world? This is different then trying to pitch our services. My plan is to start a local networking LinkedIn group for Princeton with the same objective – networking for jobs. My 2c.
David Markley
January 25, 2009 at 10:50 am
Lisa, while I’m not in your line of business (I’m a Financial Advisor), I have been using LinkedIn heavily for the past six months or so and it has increased my business tremendously. I use it to get introductions to the people I can help the most. I use LinkedIn fairly aggressively in that whenever I have a meeting with someone, I always ask if they are on LinkedIn and get connected with them before I meet. I always ask for introductions and usually get introduce to between three and ten people. I’m not saying you would necessarily use it the same way, but if you put the time into and develop a strategy, I’m confident it will pay dividends! Hope this helps!
Claudia Jordan
May 6, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Thanks for the post. I’m fairly new to social networking and have a new blog. For LinkedIN, I was invited by a friend and only filled out the bare minumum info and ignored it. Then I saw that LinkedIN was referring a good number of people to my webiste / blog. I have gone back to LinkedIN and beefed up my profile and discovered I could link to my blog. Very cool! One question: when other people want to link to me and I don’t know them, should I say yes or no?
Lani Rosales
May 6, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Claudia, each individual is different, but my personal practice is to remain much more guarded with Linked-In as it is my professional face and my online resume. I allow almost anyone on Twitter and to a degree on Facebook, but Linked-In stays with me forever and the risk outweighs the reward with collecting “connections” just to appear “connected.”
If you know them online or have spoken on the phone and trust the association does you good, then have at it, but if it’s a stranger, I don’t support collecting connections in that professional environment. Hope this helps! 🙂
Kevin Sandridge
May 27, 2009 at 11:58 am
Have to echo Missy’s take. LinkedIn seemed a bit limited initially. They have done a great job integrating other social media/blogging streams since then.