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Business Marketing

Rapport is a Necessity NOT an Option

einmas.jpgTo be clear, let me just restate – rapport is a necessity NOT an option. When you’re in the people business, the business of helping others to achieve their dreams, this seems like a simple piece of logic. It shouldn’t take a genius to come to this conclusion, but there I was at the office Holiday Party the other night observing another example of someone who just doesn’t get it.

Imagine, if you will, a crowd of over 200 real estate agents, spouses, friends and affiliates coming together to celebrate surviving the challenges of 2007 and to enjoy good food, beverage and dancing. For music we had one of your local DJ’s. Different from the guy we used last year, but afflicted with the same blind spot – lack of rapport.

Here’s a guy, younger than me (so his eyesight and other senses should be keener than the old dog’s) with more CD’s than your average Realtor could collect in a lifetime of good years like 2000 to 2004. And what’s he do? As the night progresses, he plays more and more of the music he likes than what the crowd wants.

How do I know that? Because I wasn’t the only one that asked him to change his tunes AND every time he put HIS music on, the crowd on the dance floor dwindled by two-thirds. Though I had a fellow agent (and former chiropractor) available, I just could not get myself wrapped around that music. And after a valiant effort and much patience, decided to take my leave, too (half the crowd left early).

I notice similar situations in coffee shops and other retail situations where the music being played is for the enjoyment of the people that work there and not the customer.

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jason sisneros destinys doorstepAll of this got me to thinking about rapport and how critical it is for people in the people business. I attended a Jason Sisneros workshop recently. Jason had some very interesting things to say. One point he made is that in a listing presentation you don’t just need rapport, you need – MASSIVE RAPPORT.

To establish any kind of rapport, we need to be focused on the other not ourselves. We need to be focused on the client’s wants and needs not ours. Building rapport opens the door to successful relationships which result in good business and future business. Building rapport is an art, a simple art – not an act of genius, though people will you think you a genius if you master the art.

Written By

Writer for national real estate opinion column, focusing on the improvement of the real estate industry by educating peers about technology, real estate legislation, ethics, practices and brokerage with the end result being that consumers have a better experience.



  1. Brian Wilson

    December 12, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    Here, here, John! This is a great post, and I couldn’t agree more. I was in a store a week or so ago (oddly, I can’t remember where exactly) and the same thing happened: they were playing this crazy heavy rock music! I know it wasn’t a store suited to that music, and the reason I can’t remember where it was is probably because I was turned off by the whole thing!

    Brian Wilson,

  2. Scott Trunkett

    January 17, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    John, Your discussion on the importance of building rapport is SPOT ON!

    Tim Sanders (The Likeability Factor) said it clearly:

    “Long after people forget what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

    Mostly, people don’t care what you say as much as they care how you make them feel. THAT is the essence of rapport and successful people business.

    There’s a great discussion on how to develop a strong network of enthusiastic endorsers at

    There’s also an excellent tool available for automating your rapport building strategy that really helps you to differentiate yourself from all the rest.

    Cheers! Scott

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