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Rapport is a Necessity NOT an Option



einmas.jpgTo be clear, let me just restate – rapport is a necessity NOT an option. When you’re in the people business, the business of helping others to achieve their dreams, this seems like a simple piece of logic. It shouldn’t take a genius to come to this conclusion, but there I was at the office Holiday Party the other night observing another example of someone who just doesn’t get it.

Imagine, if you will, a crowd of over 200 real estate agents, spouses, friends and affiliates coming together to celebrate surviving the challenges of 2007 and to enjoy good food, beverage and dancing. For music we had one of your local DJ’s. Different from the guy we used last year, but afflicted with the same blind spot – lack of rapport.

Here’s a guy, younger than me (so his eyesight and other senses should be keener than the old dog’s) with more CD’s than your average Realtor could collect in a lifetime of good years like 2000 to 2004. And what’s he do? As the night progresses, he plays more and more of the music he likes than what the crowd wants.

How do I know that? Because I wasn’t the only one that asked him to change his tunes AND every time he put HIS music on, the crowd on the dance floor dwindled by two-thirds. Though I had a fellow agent (and former chiropractor) available, I just could not get myself wrapped around that music. And after a valiant effort and much patience, decided to take my leave, too (half the crowd left early).

I notice similar situations in coffee shops and other retail situations where the music being played is for the enjoyment of the people that work there and not the customer.

jason sisneros destinys doorstepAll of this got me to thinking about rapport and how critical it is for people in the people business. I attended a Jason Sisneros workshop recently. Jason had some very interesting things to say. One point he made is that in a listing presentation you don’t just need rapport, you need – MASSIVE RAPPORT.

To establish any kind of rapport, we need to be focused on the other not ourselves. We need to be focused on the client’s wants and needs not ours. Building rapport opens the door to successful relationships which result in good business and future business. Building rapport is an art, a simple art – not an act of genius, though people will you think you a genius if you master the art.

Writer for national real estate opinion column, focusing on the improvement of the real estate industry by educating peers about technology, real estate legislation, ethics, practices and brokerage with the end result being that consumers have a better experience.

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  1. Brian Wilson

    December 12, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    Here, here, John! This is a great post, and I couldn’t agree more. I was in a store a week or so ago (oddly, I can’t remember where exactly) and the same thing happened: they were playing this crazy heavy rock music! I know it wasn’t a store suited to that music, and the reason I can’t remember where it was is probably because I was turned off by the whole thing!

    Brian Wilson,

  2. Scott Trunkett

    January 17, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    John, Your discussion on the importance of building rapport is SPOT ON!

    Tim Sanders (The Likeability Factor) said it clearly:

    “Long after people forget what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

    Mostly, people don’t care what you say as much as they care how you make them feel. THAT is the essence of rapport and successful people business.

    There’s a great discussion on how to develop a strong network of enthusiastic endorsers at

    There’s also an excellent tool available for automating your rapport building strategy that really helps you to differentiate yourself from all the rest.

    Cheers! Scott

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Business Marketing

How to make sure your newly remote team stays productive.

(BUSINESS MARKETING) The tide of change is rolling in and may never recede again, so managers should know how to handle the new normal, here’s some advice.



managers new role

The Coronavirus pandemic has changed the way people work. Working from home is the new normal. It’s not only employees who have to think about how they perform, but managers have to learn new skills to keep their team engaged and efficient. I’ve worked on remote teams for over 6 years. Here are some things that have helped me.

Ask “What can I do to help you?”

I’ve worked with some great managers and some awful ones. The best ones had a collaborative attitude when discussing problems. Instead of laying blame, the question was “what can we do to correct this?” It takes a little longer to think in those terms if you’re not used to it, but it reduces stress. If you’re communicating through email or message apps, it pays to reread before hitting send. We’re all learning new skills in this new normal.

Make sure your employees have the technology they need

One of the companies I work for has specific programs they use and technology requirements. Before I was allowed to proceed through their final onboarding, they made sure that I could access their technology. If your team is working from home, they need to have the resources to be productive. It’s not just computers and software, but access to internet. One of my friends said that it took them over an hour to upload a 5-minute video to Facebook.

Define success; don’t micro-manage

As I’m writing this, Ask a Manager’s Alison Green posted a question about “what’s reasonable to expect from parents who are working from home. Just a reminder that managers may have to lower expectations from their team, not only for parents, but for everyone. I don’t have kids at home, but there are many distractions out of the ordinary. Managers have to accept that people aren’t going to be as productive in these not-so-normal-times. Identify priorities. Check in when you’re on a deadline. Find a balance between managing and micro-managing.

We’re all just trying to do the best we can

It doesn’t matter who you are or where you work, I think it’s safe to say that we’re all adapting to these crazy times. How managers handle their teams will set the tone for years to come. If you want to keep those employees who have been hard workers, you’re going to have to adjust to give them the benefit of the doubt.

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Business Marketing

Easy email signature builder quickly updates your info

(BUSINESS MARKETING) When’s the last time you updated your email signature? That long? You might want to look at just sign, a new, quick, and easy, email signature generator.



just sign email

The last thing any of us are thinking about right now is email. While we’re all staying safer at home, though, it’s a good time to think about all the little things that need our attention, but typically get neglected: clearing out the email inbox, unsubscribing from things no longer relevant, and updating our email signatures. Why the email signature?

Oftentimes, we change emails when we change jobs and forget to change our signatures to reflect our new address. The same is true with social media; if we happen to change jobs, due to our own choice or by necessity thanks to the virus, we may need to update our social media profiles accordingly, especially if the new job suddenly makes this a requirement.

One of the fastest ways to update your email signature is with a generator. An email signature generator can help you quickly make a professional looking signature in about half the time it would take you to manually add each individual component.

Just Sign is one of the quickest options I’ve seen. This email signature generator is ultra simple, ultra easy, and ultra effective. It allows you to add clickable social links, a profile picture or logo, and all relevant contact information. It also allows you to choose a color scheme and tailor the formatting a bit to your preferences. As you begin to add options to your signature, you can see a preview of what the final product will look like in the right-hand panel.

Just Sign welcome

This allows you to make any necessary changes before downloading the finished product. When you have your signature perfected, simply click the purple “generate signature” button and you’re ready to go.

Just Sign is an easy, quick way to check another thing off your to-do list while we’re all at home. If you have already updated your signature, you might save this link for later use as it’s a good idea to revisit your signature a few times a year. Oftentimes, I revise mine simply to keep the attached picture updated. Have you updated your signature lately? Do you plan to? Let us know what you think of Just Sign.

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Business Marketing

How one employer beat an age discrimination lawsuit

(BUSINESS MARKETING) Age discrimination is a rare occurrence but still something to be battled. It’s good practice to keep your house in order to be on the right side.



Jewel age discrimination

In January, the EEOC released its annual accounting for reports of discrimination in the previous year. Allegations of retaliation were the most frequently filed charge, which disability coming in second. Age discrimination cases accounted for 21.4% of filed charges. As we’ve reported before, not all age discrimination complaints rise to the level of illegal discrimination. In Cesario v. Jewel Food Stores, Inc., the federal court dismissed the claims of age discrimination, even though seven (7) plaintiffs made similar claims against the grocery store.

What Cesario v. Jewel Food Stores was about

In Cesario, all but one of the seven plaintiffs had spent years with Jewel Food building their careers. When Jewel went through some financial troubles, the plaintiffs allege that they began to “experience significant pressure at work… (and) were eventually forced out or terminated because of their age or disability.” Jewel Food requested summary judgment to dismiss the claims.

The seven plaintiffs made the same type of complaints. Beginning in 2014, store directors were under pressure to improve metrics and customer satisfaction. Cesario alleges that the Jewel district manager asked about his age. Another director alleges that younger store directors were transferred to stores with less difficulties. One plaintiff alleged that Jewel Food managers asked him about his retirement. The EEOC complaints began in late 2015. The plaintiffs retired or were fired and subsequently filed a lawsuit against their company.

Age discrimination is prohibited by the Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967, (ADEA). The ADEA prevents disparate treatment based on age for workers over 40 years old. However, plaintiffs who allege disparate treatment must establish that the adverse reactions wouldn’t have occurred but for age. Because none of the plaintiffs could specifically point to age as the only determination of their case, the court dismissed the case.

A word to wise businesses

Jewel Food was able to demonstrate their own actions in the case through careful documentation. Although there was no evidence that age played a factor in any discharge decision, Jewel Food could document their personnel decisions across the board. The plaintiffs also didn’t exhaust all administrative remedies. This led to the case being dropped.

Lesson learned – Make personnel decisions based on performance and evidence. Don’t use age as a factor. Keep documentation to support your decisions.

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