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Well sit your Royal hynee down and have a Royal Flush!



The title of this post is part of an actual photo caption in an active MLS listing from somewhere in California.

Is the agent trying to be “cutesy”, unique, or are they just clueless?

I tend to vote for the latter. Your thoughts?

Sorry for the ginormous graphic, but there is no better way to expose this… thing…. for all its glory.

BTW, the generally accepted spelling is “Hiney”.


Jay is the Broker / Owner of Thompson's Realty in Phoenix, Arizona. A self-professed "Man with a blogging problem" he can be found across the Interweb, including at the Phoenix Real Estate Guy blog where he opines on all things real estate and tosses out random musings.

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  1. Larry Yatkowsky

    April 28, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    In an attempt to “flush” out the rational I can only surmise that the agent’s head up up his “hynee”!

  2. Ron Ares

    April 28, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    It reads like a poorly interpreted software manual.

  3. Mariana

    April 28, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    what?!? huh?!? That home better be owned by the agent who listed it or …

  4. Steve Belt

    April 28, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Jay, how did you find this? You must have a google alert set for combinations of poker references with real estate…

  5. Matthew Rathbun

    April 28, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    Um, well. Hmmmm, I think this is just a case of a board individual with too many voices in their head 🙂

    So, long as the seller’s on board, than maybe the orginiality will will get some attention… I guess.

  6. Jay Thompson

    April 28, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    @Steve – let’s just leave it at “I have some sources…”

    This is definitely “unique”, and in marketing, unique is often good.

    But there are extremes in everything, and rarely is extremism ever good………

  7. John Lauber

    April 28, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Um. OK. Ron Ares. Even poorly written software manuals are better than this.

  8. Benn Rosales

    April 28, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    I like it. I’d want to meet that agent if I liked pink, mauve, or whatever that pepto color is. That is 2.0 copy and it’s fun.

  9. Benn Rosales

    April 28, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    Oh yeah, and btw! Hat tip to this agent even bothering to tag the images. On the mls here in Austin, everything is always tagged the default “exterior front” even if its the interior rear!

  10. Kris Berg

    April 28, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    Benn – I really hope you are joking. This is neither fun nor funny nor professional. I think the copy will have a greater chance of offending the reader or dimishinshing the perceived value of the home which it is intended to promote than to further the goal of enticing buyers. Next time someone demeans real estate agents, I think this should be put on the overhead projector as Exhibit A.

    Jay – You say this is from California? 🙂

  11. Benn Rosales

    April 29, 2008 at 8:38 am

    Kris, I agree that is isn’t perfect, and a lot of what was said was over the top, like the royal flush, and the kitchen comments, but it’s an example of where many agents fall short all together in a very over looked opportunity to reach a buyer (period).

    I’m saying it is permission to be creative and not a horrible crisis if no one is insulted (I can see where some of that appears like an attack on the home itself, but not all of it.) as is the case of the birds eye view- the whats behind the curtain, and a few others are actually cute.

    Lani and I went back and forth on this last night and we both came to the conclusion that it may not sell me a pink house, but the agent sounds fun and that’s important if I’m a buyer. As a buyer (which mls photos address) and all the agents we’ve spoken to sound stiff and ridged, I’m probably going to go with the guy or gal that seems less harmless, easy to talk to, and is honest and most importantly- approachable <- this agent feels approachable. From a sellers point of view, it might put me off, unless I know I have a pink house - a really really pink house... The pink is growing on me. So here are my thoughts: 1. Copy even with MLS images is important 2. It is a wasted opportunity not to fill them out completely 3. Why not reach out as exciting and fun (you want to tour the thing, right?) 4. Obviously professionalism is important 5. make yourself approachable- when seeing these images, more than likely they're sitting by a phone RIGHT NOW. 6. Never sell a home you can't sell as it may be revieled in your copy 7. Remember your market/area funny and fun to a 20 something may offend and put off a 60 something especially if they love pink- a lot. 8. *** the detail time you put into details sells you as a sellers agent. Consumers want to know you spent time on their details. That's how I really feel Kris...

  12. Lani Anglin-Rosales

    April 29, 2008 at 8:54 am

    From a buyer’s perspective, in a world where every kitchen is an “open gourmet kitchen,” every living room is a “grand, inviting family room” and all amenities are “opulent amenities,” this agent has gotten my attention by (1) standing out and (2) being approachable. I just might call and see what the freakin’ deal is on the pink house since it’s in my price range and I’m not terrified to call on the home that doesn’t have the snooty opulent, grand, gourmet interior- and you as a seller’s agent have just garnered the opportunity to continue that tone and say, “Lani, it’s just paint- the home is actually gorgeous and flows extremely well. Come take a tour and if you love it but just can’t get over the pink, we’ll arrange painters for you.”

    Call me crazy, but hokey sometimes works. This agent should not have their head on a stake for trying to employ the Web2.0 methods we’re all out preaching, but it could be taken down a notch- I think we can all agree on that, right? Isn’t it the *point* to get in front of your buyer- THIS IS where they wanted to be, right?

  13. Glenn fm Naples

    April 29, 2008 at 9:34 am

    I would not think of doing what this agent did, however, it may have accomplished something, created a buzz. The question is did the agent intend this to be the goal?

    Personnally, hate the color – would have asked the seller to repaint the interior to something neutral.

  14. Benn Rosales

    April 29, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Glenn, in South Austin this pink house is a gold mine and you would not just use a traditional approach to attract its buyer. Which is why I can totally see both sides to this coin.

    Jay, thanks for this post, great find in case I didn’t mention it earlier.

  15. Larry Yatkowsky

    April 29, 2008 at 10:18 am

    I tripped on the quote below and thought “whoops!” Many of us (including me), are too eager to refute an idea because we are looking at it from a narrowed and perhaps jaded perspective.

    Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
    – Faith Whittlesey

    Thanks for the new glasses everyone. .>)

  16. Melina Tomson

    April 29, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Well In Oregon the pink house would need to be a different color. No amount of cute/unique advertising would make up for it. I don’t see that marketing tactic going over too well here, but I need to give the agent kudos for at least trying to step outside the box.

    Maybe she didn’t succeed 100% this time, but maybe the next version will be better. I always think it’s better to try some unique and maybe not pull it off, than to be joe average.

  17. Glenn fm Naples

    May 1, 2008 at 9:21 am

    Benn – thank you for giving me another perspective. 🙂

  18. Thomas Johnson

    May 3, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    Nice find, Jay! 17 comments on a super ugly house with goofy ad copy. There is a blogging lesson in here somewhere. Perhaps under the bed? Behind the bear? The bar? Behind the curtain? Black Jack!

  19. Maureen Francis

    May 26, 2008 at 8:14 am

    Me thinks he has successfully pointed out everything that is wrong with the place.

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Business Marketing

Spruce up your product images with Glorify (just in time for Black Friday!)

(BUSINESS MARKETING) Want professional, customizable product images for your company? Consider Glorify’s hot Black Friday deal.



Glorify app lets you create beautiful designs for your products.

Glorify, the app that creates high converting, customizable product images for your business, is offering a lifetime deal for $97 this Black Friday. In just a few clicks, you can transform one of Glorify’s sleek templates into personalized, professional-looking content – and now, you don’t have to pay that monthly fee.

Whether your business is in electronics, beauty, or food & drink, Glorify offers a range of looks that will instantly bring your product images to the next level. With countless font styles and the ability to alter icon styles, shadows and other elements, you can access all the perks of having your own designer without the steep price.

In 2019, Glorify was launched – the app was soon voted #2 Product of the Day and nominated for Best Design Tool by Product Hunt. Since then, they have cultivated a 20k+ user base!

Glorify 2.0, which was launched last week, upgrades the experience. The new and improved version of the app is complete overhaul of intuitive UI improvements and extra features, such as:

  • background remover tool
  • templates based on popular product niches and themes
  • design bundles for your website/store, social media
  • annotation tool
  • upload your brand kits and organize your projects under different brands
  • 1 click brand application
  • & much more!

“But the most important aspect of Glorify 2.0, is that it comes with a UI that sets us up for future scalability for all our roadmap features”, said CEO of Glorify Omar Farook, who himself was a professional graphic designer.

Farook’s dream was to provide a low-cost design service for the smaller businesses that couldn’t otherwise afford design services. Looking through reviews of the app, it’s evident that Glorify does just that – it saves the user time and money while helping them to produce top-notch product images for their brand on their own.

Glorify is one of the many new design-based apps that make producing content a breeze for entrepreneurs, such as Canva. As someone who loves design but doesn’t have the patience for Creative Cloud, I personally love this technology. However, Glorify is unique in that it is the only product-driven design app. All you have to do is upload your photo!

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Business Marketing

This new Chipotle location will be fully digital

(BUSINESS NEWS) In the wake of the pandemic and popularity of online delivery, Chipotle is joining the jump to online-only locations, at least to test drive.



Chipotle exterior, possibly moving to a fully digital restaurant space soon.

A lot of industries have switched to an online-only model in the wake of the pandemic. Most of them have made sense; between abundant delivery options and increased restrictions on workers, moving away from the traditional storefront paradigm isn’t exactly a radical choice. Chipotle making that same decision, however, is a plot twist of a different kind—yet that’s exactly what they’re doing with their first online store.

To be clear, the chain isn’t doing away with their existing locations; they’re just test-driving a “digital” location for the time being. That said, the move to an online platform raises interesting questions about the future of the restaurant industry—if not just Chipotle itself.

The move to an online platform actually makes a lot of sense for businesses like Chipotle. Since the classic Chipotle experience is much less centered on the “dining” aspect than it is on the customizability of food options, putting those same options online and giving folks some room to deliver both decreases Chipotle’s physical footprint and, ostensibly, opens up their services to more people.

It’s also a timely move given the sheer number of people who are sheltering in place. A hands-on burrito assembly line is not the optimal place to be in a pandemic, but there’s no denying the utilitarian appeal of Chipotle’s products. To that end, having another restaurant wherein you have the option to order a hearty meal with everything you like—which is also tailored to your dietary needs—is a crucial step for consumers.

Chipotle’s CTO, Curt Garner, says he is hoping this online alternative will offer a “frictionless” experience for diners.

As a part of that frictionless experience, consumers will be able to order in several different mediums. Chipotle’s website and their mobile app are the preferred choices, while services like GrubHub will also be available should you choose to order through a third-party. The idea is simple: To bring Chipotle to you with as little fuss as possible.

For now, Chipotle is committing to the single digital location to see how consumer demand pans out. Should the model prove successful, they plan to move forward with implementing additional digital locations nationwide.

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Business Marketing

Your business’ Yelp listing may be costing you more than you think

(BUSINESS MARKETING) The pay per click system Yelp uses sounds good in theory, but it may be hurting small businesses more than helping.



Man browsing Yelp for his business listing in open office environment.

We all know Yelp – we’ve probably all used Yelp’s comment section to decide whether or not that business is worth giving our money to. What you might not know is how they are extorting the small businesses they partner with.

For starters, it’s helpful to understand that Yelp generates revenue through a pay per click (PPC) search model. This means whenever a user clicks on your advertisement, you pay Yelp a small fee. You never pay Yelp a cent if no one clicks on your ad.

In theory, this sounds great – if someone is seeking out your product or service and clicks on your ad, chances are you’re going to see some of that return. This is what makes paying $15, $50, or even $100 a click worth it.

In practice, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. When setting up your Yelp account, you are able to plug in keywords that correspond with your business. For example, owner of San Francisco-based Headshots Inc. Dan St. Louis – former Yelp advertiser turned anti-Yelp advocate – plugged in keywords for his business, such as “corporate photographer” and “professional headshots”. When someone in the Bay Area searches one of those terms, they are likely to see Headshots Inc.’s Yelp ad.

You are also able to plug in keyword searches in which your ad will not appear. That sounds great too – no need to pay for ad clicks that will ultimately not bring in revenue for your business. In the case of Headshots Inc., Dan plugged in terms such as “affordable baby photography” and “affordable studio photography”, as his studio is quite high-end and would very likely turn off a user who is using the word “affordable” in their search.

How Yelp really cheats its small business partners is that it finds loopholes in your keyword input to place your ad in as many non-relevant searches as possible. This ensures that your ad is clicked more and, as a result, you have to pay them more without reaping any of the monetary benefits for your business.

If you plugged in “cheap photography” to your list of searches in which your ad will not appear, Yelp might still feature your ad for the “cheap photos” search. As if a small business owner has the time to enter in every single possible keyword someone might search!

In the case of Headshots Inc., Dan ended up paying $10k in total ad spend to Yelp with very little return. Needless to say, he is pissed.

So what does this mean for you if you use Yelp for your business? If you don’t want to completely opt out of Yelp’s shenanigans, try these 3 tips from Dan:

  1. Try searching some potential irrelevant keywords – are your ads showing up in these searches?
  2. Do your best to block the irrelevant keywords. It’s impossible to get them all, but the more you do the more money you will ultimately save.
  3. Keep an eye on the conversation rate on your profile – does more clicks mean more client inquiries? Make sure Yelp isn’t sending low-quality traffic to your profile.

Ultimately, it’s about protecting your small business. Yelp is the latest in big tech to be outted for manipulating individuals and small businesses to up their margins – a truly despicable act, if you ask me. If you don’t have tens of thousands of dollars for ad spend, then either boycott Yelp or try these tips – your company may depend on it.

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