Last week I asked you to submit a few of your blog post headlines for me to look at and see if I could help improve the headlines to attract more eyeballs.
Here are your headlines. Let me know what you think.
The Ugly Truth Behind Austin’s “Green” Regulations
Original: Austin Calls Itself Green [and Lies]
I like the original headline since it does a great job of calling out Austin on shady regulations. My approach focuses less on calling Austin out and more on pulling readers in. It’s more sensational with a promise to reveal an “ugly truth.” In my experience, a promise to reveal something – especially something from “the dark underbelly” – is far more captivating than calling a spade a spade.
Are faulty appraisals causing today’s real estate crisis?
Original: Appraisal Institute to Yun- Not the Fault of the Appraisal but a Fault of the Market Today
The original headline is a news-like headline that conveys the entire article in just a few words. While it’s helpful those who skim the page, it risks losing out on some deeper discussion because it conveys everything up front. So, to promote heavier discussion – which is where the value is on news oriented pieces – I re-made the original headline into a question to spur people’s opinions on the matter.
A comprehensive guide to Indianapolis property taxes: What they really mean to buyers and sellers
Original: The pros and cons of Indianapolis Property taxes and what it means to buyers and sellers
The original headline was submitted without a link to the source article so I wasn’t able to get a feel fro the tone and context of the article. So, I made a few assumptions and went with it. Now, the submitter thought the original headline too wordy but, more important than how many words you use is how well those words do the job.
I simply replaced “pros and cons” with “comprehensive guide”. This communicates that the article is more than a side by side comparison, that it’s a complete all-you-need-to-know article – an authority piece. The same can be said for the addition of the word “really” which lets the reader know that the content isn’t fluffy, that it dives deep into how taxes impact both buyers and sellers.
Now, if you find this valuable, say so in the comments and we’ll do these more often.
Let me know what you think and feel free to give the headlines your own makeover below.
Chuck G
July 6, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Mark,
Good stuff! Please keep doing this — it helps me when re-evaluating the titles I use too.
In the first example, it’s good to steer away from saying a person or organization “lies” anyway… That’s really setting yourself up for a battle that you don’t need, and it’s really not the reason you’re blogging in the first place. The key is to be positive, even when you’re calling out something that isn’t.
Looking forward to more re-worked headlines….
CG
Glenn in Naples
July 6, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Boy – you really improved those headlines to ones where a reader would be drawn in. Looking over my headlines, I do have a lot of work to come up with great headlines – well let’s say better ones.
Mark – you really got me thinking.
Would appreciate it if you good do other assessments or recrafting of headlines. Please don’t look at mine though. LOL
Austin Smith - Goomzee.com
July 6, 2009 at 6:30 pm
I agree with Chuck…keep doing this!! Now I know where I went wrong in the past writing headlines for new-oriented articles: they need to raise discussion! Thanks Mark!
Louise Scoggins
July 7, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Mark, what an interesting post! I often times brainstorm with my husband about good blog post titles…what’s best for SEO and what will grab a reader’s attention. I really liked your comments and loved seeing how you reworded things and why. I would love to see more posts from you about this!
Mark Eckenrode
July 8, 2009 at 11:50 am
glad folks are diggin’ the title makeovers. we’ll do them again in the future with more community submissions 🙂