Carl Jung and Then Some:
“Do not go before calling – god bites.” (That beats burning in the depths of hell.)
“Do not disturb occupunks” (The headstone of Sid Vicious?)
“Seller won’t pay to test septic – says he’s cleaned out.” (Apparently seller ran a router through his down-spouter.)
“Wine and cheesey balls served.” (Uh, pardon me, Mr. Limburger, are these yours?”)
“Buyer who shows the most gets reward.” (Seriously, dude, laughing at you is reward enough!)
“Master with sauna and new hit tub” (A Jersey special – Cream ‘em, Steam ‘em and Clean ‘em.)
Dr. Kinsey and Seller Whimsy
“Pipes just rodol roodled” (Agent just befiddle faddled.)
“Be sure to leave your business.” (I have a hunch the seller who’s “cleaned out” already did.)
“House w/ big balcony. Walk on at own risk.” (Does the HOA cover DOA?)
“Staples for horses” (Office Depot for cows.)
“If you pass, you’ll be sorry.” (Especially if God bites!)
Call Dr. Phil, Then Pop a Pill
“Seller says Pull the Plug.” (Proudly Offered by Dr. Kervorkian.)
“One of best deals in Lost Angeles” (Yeah, but only if you can find it…)
“Cute bungalow in Hollyodd” (A tiny pod in a place that’s odd?)
“Fax offers – Hurry. No droppings. We’re serious!” (Yeah, we get it – we can’t “leave our business,” right?)
My Picks ‘o the Week:
“Probate – seller did not perspire on property.” (Hence, he did expire of heat stroke on the kitchen floor.)
“House has really big gas hater” (We all hate gas, honey, but that’s just God’s way of keeping us afloat…before He bites you.)
