Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Benn Rosales
October 18, 2007 at 4:54 am
I’ve seen folks in bmws, caddys, and the like. It’s true what they say, it’s all about the shoes. If you’re sporting a nice car, crappy shoes, a bic pen, a target timex, then the writing is on the wall- you aren’t what you drive. To me, it really is the total package. If someone drives a practical car, but they are well tailored, I’ll believe them more to be successful and good at what they do. I really do think tho that the bmw probably gave you a certain confidence she could not deny. I say hey, if it works. Have you thought about the murano? They corner well, look savvy, and ride like a dream… not to shabby on the gas either.
Vicki Moore
October 18, 2007 at 6:34 am
You are a wise one, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
I tried the Murano. It’s super. Only one problem- the seat pan is too long. Or I guess you could say the problem is my legs are too short.
Benn Rosales
October 18, 2007 at 1:44 pm
There’s always a mini-cooper =]
Eric W. Gage
October 18, 2007 at 4:57 pm
I think this is so true and a conversation just recently had with another realtor friend. I have a PR background and believe presentation is what it’s all about. That is why I bought a Mercedes last year. It’s all about presentation and how you want to be portrayed. I wanted it, earned and love it! Though, I am always asked since I drive a Mercedes if I am a trust fund baby since I am only 29yo! That really irks me…NO…I spend my money on real estate and not in the bars like most of my peers. I did it all on my own with a government salary! So, get what you want and what makes you feel good. Make sure your bank account can afford it, you look good and put your foot to the pedal and drive like nobody’s business! Great post!!! Oh..if you want a Dodge, Chrysler or Jeep and don’t mind driving to Dallas let me know–I can get you a good deal there!
Chris Lengquist
October 18, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Ah, how I love the shallowness of it all. It’s not performance that matters. It’s style. Always has been…sadly.
Vicki Moore
October 18, 2007 at 5:54 pm
After all the serious talk about NAR and blogging, I decided to take it down a notch. We all need mindless chit-chat once in a while.
I love the Mini, btw. But I treat my car like a second apartment. I don’t think both me and my dog could fit at the same time.
Hey Eric – My family lives in Dallas. I might fly out and drive back! What I get concerned about with the Mercedes is that when people get envious – like you described – they get mean.
Ken Smith
October 18, 2007 at 11:17 pm
I opted for the Durango when we had my daughter (less then 2 years ago) and have only had issues. Worse the dealers (have tried 3) can never seem to figure out what is wrong with the truck without keeping it for days on end and then needing us to bring it back after the parts come in. I can’t figure out why I went with a Dodge…will not make that mistake again.
Benn Rosales
October 18, 2007 at 11:33 pm
You can say that for almost any car maker. I have a friend with a lemon bmw.
Athol Kay
October 19, 2007 at 12:19 am
Saturn Ion here.
“Nothing but car.”
Daniel Rothamel
October 19, 2007 at 2:23 am
I wrote about BMW for my Blog Action Post. You should love whatever you drive. While I don’t think that you can define someone by their car, it does say something about them, just like clothing.
Benn Rosales
October 20, 2007 at 2:20 am
Okay, I’ve got the car for you, practical, yet sporty, yet, sexy when it’s loaded- how about the volvo xc90?
Vicki Moore
October 20, 2007 at 4:48 am
I agree. And safe too.
Sandy
October 22, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Acura MDX. Best real estate car ever. Nice, but not flashy. Performs well. Is an SUV but gets decent mileage (mine averages 18 mpg) and is an ultra-low-emissions-vehicle (ULEV). Has a great, non-truck-like ride and Honda quality. Very cheap on the maintenance.
You can pull up in front of any house and drive around with any client in the MDX. I think they make it in a hybrid now too. Volvo XC90 would have been my second choice but the ULEV thing was a the clincher for me. I wanted something that didn’t make me feel like an ecoterrorist.
Vicki Moore
October 22, 2007 at 7:19 pm
MDX is definitely high on the list. I like the ecoterrorist point. It’s not easy to be pc all the time. 🙂