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Dr. Freud, are you in? MLS mumbo jumbo oddball slip ups & more

cartoon freudThis week I’m highlighting not only weird spellings, but oddball comments in the MLS and in our local real estate magazines. Sometimes I think the subconscious mind is controlling the typing, while the conscious mind is watching old Seinfeld and Family Guy reruns. Maybe Dr. Freud could explain some of these hilarious Los Angeles area postings:

Carl Jung and Then Some:

“Do not go before calling  – god bites.” (That beats burning in the depths of hell.)

“Do not disturb occupunks” (The headstone of Sid Vicious?)

“Seller won’t pay to test septic – says he’s cleaned out.” (Apparently seller ran a router through his down-spouter.)

“Wine and cheesey balls served.” (Uh, pardon me, Mr. Limburger, are  these yours?”)

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“Buyer who shows the most gets reward.” (Seriously, dude, laughing at you is reward enough!)

“Master with sauna and new hit tub” (A Jersey special – Cream ‘em, Steam ‘em and Clean ‘em.)

Dr. Kinsey and Seller Whimsy

“Pipes just rodol roodled”  (Agent just befiddle faddled.)

“Be sure to leave your business.” (I have a hunch the seller who’s “cleaned out” already did.)

“House w/ big balcony. Walk on at own risk.” (Does the HOA cover DOA?)

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“Staples for horses” (Office Depot for cows.)

“If you pass, you’ll be sorry.” (Especially if God bites!)

Call Dr. Phil, Then Pop a Pill

“Seller says Pull the Plug.” (Proudly Offered by Dr. Kervorkian.)

“One of best deals in Lost Angeles” (Yeah, but only if you can find it…)

“Cute bungalow in Hollyodd” (A tiny pod in a place that’s odd?)

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“Fax offers – Hurry. No droppings. We’re serious!”  (Yeah, we get it – we can’t “leave our business,” right?)

My Picks ‘o the Week:

“Probate – seller did not perspire on property.”  (Hence,  he did expire of heat stroke on the kitchen floor.)

“House has really big gas hater” (We all hate gas, honey, but that’s just God’s way of keeping us afloat…before He bites you.)

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Eric Hempler

    May 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    good picks

  2. Gwen Banta

    May 7, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Thanks, Eric. I think Freud would have enjoyed them, don’t you?

  3. Janie Coffey

    May 7, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Gwen, these are hilarious! you have another job as the Real Estate Comic, you are very witty!

  4. Gwen Banta

    May 7, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Thanks, Janie – that puts a good spin on “warped”!

  5. Gwen Banta

    May 7, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Thank you, Wasaga beach!

  6. Joe Loomer

    May 7, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Ok, I promise – I was not – I SWEAR- that buyer that showed the most. Wasn’t me. Nope.

    Hand me that towel there – yup, that one – that’s fine, that’ll do – that one there, yes, thank you. Thank you! Yes, that one fer cryin out loud it said OPEN HOUSE!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  7. Gwen Banta

    May 8, 2010 at 12:07 am

    LOL, Joe! And here I thought most men BRAGGED about showing the most!!!

  8. Missy Caulk

    May 8, 2010 at 11:21 am

    good ones….are these all coming from your MLS?

  9. Alan Daniels

    May 8, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Hilarious! I see comments like this from time to time in our MLS and get a good laugh. I will have to start keeping track of them. Thanks!

  10. Gwen Banta

    May 8, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    No, Missy, although most are. I also get reader contributions from other MLS’s. I have also discovered some very funny listing remarks in Real Estate publications such as the “Weekend Guide” and “Homes and Land,” real estate newspaper ads and even a few from realtor postings on Craigslist. My all time favorite was in the MLS Weekend Guide that said “Live Near the Hollywood Bowel.” That works on so many levels!

  11. Gwen Banta

    May 8, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Missy, I also wanted to add that my perception of what is odd probably colors the comments. For instance, the agent who wrote “Seller won’t pay to test septic – says he’s cleaned out” obviously meant to say “it’s” cleaned out. I think his error was in haste, not stupidity. My comments often make the errors more egregious than they are in black and white…but interpretation is what I’m here for, so agents beware 🙂

    • Lani Rosales

      May 8, 2010 at 11:57 pm

      they’re ALWAYS hilarious, I’m so glad that agents get a case of the fat fingers and forget to proofread! lol

  12. Gwen Banta

    May 9, 2010 at 1:18 am

    Thanks, Lani… and “fat fingers” definitely describes me. Today I almost sent an email that said, “There’s doom in the back for the children!”

  13. roydevoll

    May 11, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    Always entertaining! 😉

  14. Gwen Banta

    May 11, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Thanks, Roy, but the credit belongs to the MLS Blooper Brigade!

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