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Opinion Editorials

Flounder is not just a fish – real estate bloopers

RIDDLE ME THIS: What do apples, spice, and flour have in common? Answer:  1. A yummy pie 2. John Belushi at an Animal House food fight 3. Julia Childs’ kitchen floor after her fourth highball 4. The crap in your hair following an L.A. earthquake or 5. More MLS mayhem? If you guessed # 5, you are correct. If you didn’t, you were probably drinking with Julia…quite a feat now that she’s dead.  Check out these great bloopers:

Failing And Flailing

“Your real estrate professional” (Somehow I doubt that.)

“Turn right after road caves” (Shall I assume that’s the way to the hospital?)

“Slopy hillside on big lot” (Sloppy agent on big bar stool..)

“Flour boxes add to charm” (Only if there’s a cake involved, pal.)

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“Nice spice for kids” (How long to you cook them?)

The Lava Lamp is On

“Steps to beach and sad” (You are already there, pal.)

“Hang left at Ocean, hang right, park there if you want to” (Yo, Surfer Dan, is that medicinal grade you’re smoking?)

“New high roof” (Come down from there, Dan – that’s a drainpipe, not a bong.)

“Reasonable HOs in building” (Good, ‘cause no one wants a stubborn Ho.)

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Auto-fill Follies

“Building restrictions ornery” (Just dealing with the Dept. of Building and Safety makes me ornery!)

“Lovely cannon setting” (That’s one way to keep the neighbors in line!)

“Yore neighborhood professional” (You’re right about one thing: “Yore” time is up.)

“Apple street parking” (Can I park my melons there, too?)

Really? REALLY???

“Player piano and grandfather cock negotiable” (Grandma never wanted that annoying old relic, so why would anyone else?)

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Joe Loomer

    June 24, 2011 at 9:32 am

    That last one got me good!

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  2. Gwen Banta

    June 24, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    I just can't believe that wasn't Freudian, Joe. Or maybe that agent had a huge resentment against Grandpa!

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