Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

The American GeniusThe American Genius


Miss Manners

I Wish but

I don’t always have the patience to be Miss Manners.  Most of the time I don’t say what I think and I’m quite polite, but occasionally it comes out – I can’t help it.   With the market in a state and every body’s cousin’s brother’s uncle having gotten their license it is incumbent on all of us to take a deep breath before we say, “Hey you *&%$@^#!”

So instead of setting myself up to have to make an apology later, here’s a translation of what I’m not saying:

  • You don’t have permission to speak to me that way.
    Look you jerk, say that again and I’ll reach through the phone and rip off your toupee.
  • Your lack of professionalism is wondrous.
    Just because your sister hired you doesn’t mean you know how to sell real estate.
  • Wait a minute.  I need to think about what you said.
    Before I choke your stupid ass.
  • I’m confused.  What are you saying?
    Since you just passed the exam and haven’t sold anything yet, shut your pie hole.
  • How rude!
    Listen *&%$@^#, let me tell you something.
  • Did you intend to be offensive?
    Or is that just your personality?
  • I need to think about what you just said.
    Otherwise I’m going to blow my air horn in your ear.

And this concludes Miss Manners’ lesson for today.  Happy selling.

Written By

As a lifelong resident and local Realtor, Vicki has established herself as a respected member of the San Mateo County real estate community. She’s known for her wit, sarcasm, and her personality that shows through in her posts. You can find her spouting off at Twitter, here at ag, and her personal blog, San Mateo Real Estate



  1. Matt Stigliano

    August 15, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    Vicki – Can you include a translation for…

    A response (email, call, anything) would be nice ’cause I’m trying to sell your listing for you.


  2. Jamie Geiger

    August 15, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    I need a translation for this one: Please do not advertise homes on your website that are not your listings and you are out of the country and your staff knows nothing of them and my buyer would like more information

  3. Sherry Baker

    August 15, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Just today I said goodbye to a month-old listing because the owners made me want to scream at them every time we talked. I knew I couldn’t hold my tongue much longer. Thanks for saying it all so well, Vicki! I feel so much better now. 🙂

  4. Seth Parker

    August 15, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    LOL. How about:

    So, your brother sold you that you should list your home for $40,000 more that I recommended?
    –Ok, so how many homes has he sold lately?

    Let me be sure I’ve got this right…
    –Did you really just say what I think you said?

    Yes, your home does need some work before we put it on the market.
    –Demolish, rinse and repeat.

    ….and plenty more!!!

  5. Seth Parker

    August 15, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    ^^^ “So, your brother said that you…”

  6. Jennifer in Louisville

    August 15, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    LOL this one is awesome:
    Wait a minute. I need to think about what you said.
    Before I choke your stupid ass.

    Thats great. And I WILL use it the next time someone fires me up – which may be as early as tomorrow. [Am working a deal with someone that obviously left their brain on the nightstand before heading off to work for the day.]

  7. Paula Henry

    August 15, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    Perfect! It is tiring working with agents who are new with an attitude!

    I recently worked with an agent who was young and knew little about what he was doing. He was buying his first home, which was one of my listings. One day, he says to me, ” Man, I wish you were my agent”? Of course I told him I could be; only he wouldn’t get paid.

    I would much rather work with him than someone who thinks they know it all and doesn’t have the common sense to shut up when they need to.

  8. Matthew Rathbun

    August 16, 2008 at 7:55 am

    I’ve actually asked a rude agent once: “Did your parents abuse you, as a child?”

    I’ve found that simply hanging up mid-sentence on a rude agent saves me from being more unprofessional. I have quite the attitude when I am treated as anything less than another professional…

  9. Vicki Moore

    August 16, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Matt – Listen Bub – no call back – no paycheck. That’s what I’d be thinking but I’d say it more politely.

    Jamie – That’s when I tell the buyer forget it – next!

    Sherry – Glad I could help. 🙂

    Seth – Great add-ons!

    Jennifer – It’s the climate. I do a lot of deep breathing.

    Paula – I’m a good listener. I’ll listen to everything they say. I know at some point they’re going to spill the beans on their client.

    Matthew – Tisk. Tisk. Deep breathing. LOL. I’ve hung up on people many times myself. Sometimes there’s just no other way.

  10. Michelle

    August 17, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Dead air on the phone goes a long way. When someone says something unprofessional or rude, I just let them finish, lead the dead air hang for a bit, then they have to say “um, hello? you still there?”. Then I say, “you’ve obviously had a rough day, and for that i’m really sorry. But now that you’ve got it off your chest, can we finish our conversation more professionally?” One of two things usually happens, they either straighten up or they get even more ticked, to which I say, “You know, I think communicating via email might be best at this point….” click.

  11. Vicki Moore

    August 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Michelle – I’m going to use that – if I can hold myself back from being snarky. Great tip.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


American Genius
news neatly in your inbox

Subscribe to our mailing list for news sent straight to your email inbox.




The American Genius is a strong news voice in the entrepreneur and tech world, offering meaningful, concise insight into emerging technologies, the digital economy, best practices, and a shifting business culture. We refuse to publish fluff, and our readers rely on us for inspiring action. Copyright © 2005-2022, The American Genius, LLC.