Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

The American GeniusThe American Genius

Opinion Editorials

Mastering the Hurdles

Stop the blame game

There are so many times when we hear excuses about why people fail.  Why we ourselves fail.  The market has changed.  I have been under the weather.  I wasn’t treated fairly.  The other agent told false stories about me. 

There are tons of excuses for why we don’t achieve our goals, some real, some created or magnified in our minds.  We could play the blame game all day long, but does it get us anywhere?  Placing blame only only puts us into a cycle of negativity. 

Daily, hourly, things happen in our lives that are in large part beyond our control.  Sometimes they suck- be it the death of a loved one, a tragic car accident, the loss of a job, a serious health issue.  We can’t always change our circumstances, but we can change how we deal with them.

We have no one to blame for our emotions but ourselves.  Have you ever felt like you had a huge weight sitting on your shoulders?  A big fat hand holding you down?  If you looked in the mirror closely, you might realize that the hand belongs to you.   The only person who can truly hold you back is YOU.

Advertisement. Scroll to continue reading.

Failures happen.  Setbacks happen.  People do and say nasty things, sometimes purposefully in an attempt to hold us back. 

If we adjust how we deal with our circumstances, we clear the obstacle course for ourselves, removing the hurdles to our success.

Written By

Ginger Wilcox is a Broker Associate at Alain Pinel in Marin County, California in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is an accomplished speaker, writer and trainer on the real estate industry, online marketing and social media strategy. Ginger is the publisher of the Marin Real Estate Guide -"Blog by the Bay," a highly regarded Bay Area real estate web site. For more information about Ginger, visit



  1. Ken Brand

    November 12, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Amen Ginger. Something I remind myself of, generally speaking, “I either allow, promote or create it.”

    Personal responsibility is huge and sadly, a rare trait. Legions of victims lurch around like zombies.

  2. Paula Henry

    November 12, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    Ginger – One of my favorite quotes is “If it is to be, it is up to me”. There is always a reason or excuse for failure and I love your assessment that the hand holding you down may be your own.

  3. Stacey Lee

    November 13, 2008 at 2:11 am

    Yes I guess you are right. What we achieve and what we don’t is all up to us.

  4. Vicky Henry

    November 13, 2008 at 7:07 am

    Ok. I guess what I like about success is failure is always involved. You may think that’s weird but think about it. As we climb up the ladder and succeed, not everything we try or every decision we make is successful. There is failure. Failure makes us better! I guess that’s why I find it so appalling that we would blame others for our failures. Colin Powell is quoted as saying “There are no secrets to sucess. It’s the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure.”

    You have to have failure in order to be successful.

  5. Vance Shutes

    November 13, 2008 at 5:49 pm


    If we enable ourselves to fail, we will. If we harden ourselves to failure, we will learn from the experience – without becoming hard-hearted at the same time.

    Great (short) article!

  6. Matthew Rathbun

    November 13, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Failure is not an obstacle; it’s an opportunity to learn and share. Failure is just one more opportunity to invest in someone else’s success.

  7. Vicky Henry

    November 13, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Matthew, exactly! Failure is never an obstacle but a springboard for new ideas and opportunities.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


American Genius
news neatly in your inbox

Subscribe to our mailing list for news sent straight to your email inbox.



The American Genius is a strong news voice in the entrepreneur and tech world, offering meaningful, concise insight into emerging technologies, the digital economy, best practices, and a shifting business culture. We refuse to publish fluff, and our readers rely on us for inspiring action. Copyright © 2005-2022, The American Genius, LLC.