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Bitterness Sucks


Life can be so cynical – right after I wrote 10 Don’ts of Social Media I went through an extremely uncomfortable yet gratifying experience and came to the realization that putting ourselves out there in this medium is everything but easy (maybe I already knew that but stick with me).

My mojito reviews got a great mention by the Miami New Times with the following quote:

Miamism.com is a lifestyle real estate company dedicated to using media innovations to promote its services

Talk about awesome!!  Everything I’ve worked for being recognized in one simple sentence.  I was so psyched about the link but it all turned ugly very quickly.  Some not so nice people, playing the cowardly anonymity card started talking crap – they called me a drunk, that I couldn’t get work as an architect…and other not so pleasant things.

(SIGH)

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So how could this spectacle be at all gratifying?  easy….I posted this on twitter:

It did not take long for me to get a smile back on my face – My Tweeps started turning the conversation around on that article, they were angrier than me!  That’s when you realize that we do have great friends here, people that have our back and are willing to stand up for you.  Clients even showed up to comment on that post, and true friends were willing to stick up for me and I didn’t even ask – now tell me there is no power in Social Media.  Here’s some link love for those that helped (words are not enough to express my gratitude).

@ElaineHanson@CreativeAgentVA@realestatezebraKen De Loreto@CWaterhouse @roder@FresYes@RailLife@ViceQueenMaria@PhxREGuy @SandroLaurie Manny

The brutal truth then sticks its ugly face out – when you become public and open up in this medium, you will  be vulnerable and have to be ready for ugly attacks. Sad to think that there are people out there that have nothing better to do than be bitter and obnoxious – but they are out there.

Others have been victim of attacks and although I will not go into detail, take a look at the way Jay Thomson handled a hate comment on his post – An email to “Windows 7 Tips” – Winner of ‘Most Asinine Comment Ever’,

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And here’s a great article that I read over and over whenever someone leaves a negative comment about me:  How to Deal with Negative Comments On Your Blog

Hopefully you will not have to experience this ever – but if you do…..take a deep breath and disconnect from the attacker or troll and realize that retaliation will only empower them….and when all else fails, go to Twitter for help 🙂

Written By

Ines is all Miami, all the time. A Miami Beach Realtor® with Majestic properties, Ines authors Miamism.com, PrimeMiamiBeach.com, and MiamismPix.com and is always on communication's leading edge. She goes out of her way to engage and be engaged, often using Mojitos to keep the mood light and give everything she does a Miami flavor. You can find her goofing off or instigating trouble at Twitter, Flickr, Facebook or LinkedIn.

38 Comments

38 Comments

  1. Jay Thompson

    April 20, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Internet trolls have been around since the bulletin board days.

    Sad, isn’t it?

    Fortunately, the internet also provides a way for people to get to know the real person behind the keyboard, and those people will have your back.

  2. Linsey

    April 20, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Boy do I relate. I was thrilled recently when my stats and assessment of our local market was featured in the Orange County Register. I was so excited – then quickly dismayed at the Realtor hating comments that eventually showed up.

    One guy called me a ‘liar’! Suprisingly, he did come back to retract his statement but not before I felt the jab to my heart. You invest so much or yourself in these things so it feels particularly cutting.

    My suspicion is that for every 1 hater, there are untold readers that enjoyed and appreciated you. Don’t let the noisie minority steal your thunder. 🙂

    I have not had the chance to meet you and share a mojito but I look forward to it. Your wonderful reputation proceeds you.

  3. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 20, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    jay – the part that’s sad is those that don’t take the time to know us and come to ridiculous conclusions (and even that would be ok if they would be brave at identifying themselves and asking instead of assuming).

    Linsey – I’m sure we will meet IRL soon, the negatives will never steal my thunder, especially when I know what happens to those comments – I just feel it’s unfortunate that people need to go there

  4. Larry McGee

    April 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    Inez,
    When I was studying English Literature many long times ago, I enjoyed the insight of a Professor who was a poet. I learned and remembered 2 things from the man:

    First, that 10% of our fellow bi-peds that act like people do not have a conscience, and, although they commit most of the minor and major atrocities the rest of us must deal with everyday, they should not be allowed to affect your life.

    Secondly, that good poetry (writing) requires the poet to have suffered. It is the only way to truly appreciate the other point of view.

    The 10% will always attack those that rise above the masses because of their good work. *#%&! them, you are good at what you do, keep doing it!

  5. Elaine Reese

    April 20, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Sorry it happened to you. We’re adults and can simply hit the delete key to the jerks if need be. Insecure people can easily hide behind a keyboard and say things they would never have the courage to say FTF.

    The ones I feel sorry for are the teens who are targeted. They haven’t developed the thick skin yet to deal with the creeps.

    Some people just get a kick out of being MEAN! We’ll eventually read about them on the nightly news.

  6. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 20, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    You are completely right – it’s a ruthless medium and teens would have it rough (with all the sexting and weird stuff going on today – things we didn’t have) – talk about a reality check for those of us that have kids.

  7. Lesley Lambert

    April 21, 2009 at 9:57 am

    I have been posting online in various forms since the early 90’s and have experienced some HUGE flame out sessions. It is one thing when someone has an opinion and is brave enough to state it with their name attached. Something about being anonymous allows nasty people free reign. It won’t change, but you will (already have I see from this post). I won’t use the phrase on here that I would use IRL (the f bomb included) but you are better than them (shoot, you have a fan club ALL over the world!) and shouldn’t even bat an eyelash in their direction.

    Good news is that if someone is taking the time to flame you, you obviously struck a chord that people are interested in! HUGS!

  8. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 21, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Wow Larry – talk about making me feel good – you totally ROCK – I will remember those words and keep them close to me. Thank you.

  9. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 21, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Leslie – you are way too cool! seriously! I guess I should be happy that people would go out of their way to be mean and try to smear my name – obviously……didn’t work.

    But the point here is that we are in the lime light and it WILL happen and it feels great when people watch our backs. Social Media is ultimately about relationships and engaging people and if you do it with true intent and are genuine, people will be willing to snick their necks out for you.

  10. Lesley Lambert

    April 21, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Ines YES! And FWIW, although I missed your initial tweet, I would happily go to battle for you. The people I have “met” and made friends with through Social Media are an amazing, gifted, powerful troupe and I am honored when they help me. You point the way at the next troll and the #twitterqueens will fix their wagon, that I GUARANTEE

  11. The Harriman Team

    April 21, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Like Jay said, these kind of idiots have been around forever and will continue to exist. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to malign you in that way except to cause a sensation and point the spotlight to themselves. I don’t know Ines personally, but I feel I do know her through her writing, her videos and through what people who HAVE met her say about her. There are many people in RE I’d like to meet: Jay Thompson, Lani Rosales, Daniel Rothamel, and many others, but if I had to limit the list to just a few, Ines would be right at the top. Rock on Ines, you’re a credit to us all and muy caliente!

  12. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 21, 2009 at 11:05 am

    😀 @ Lesley (ty)

    Pat and Wayne – you have no idea how much I appreciate your words. My 14 year old calls my on-line friends “fake friends” – and all I gotta say is that I’m extremely thankful for my fake friends.

  13. JeffX

    April 21, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    You know you’ve arrived when…

    Jealousy is an ugly emotion, and worse when acted upon.

  14. Brian Brady

    April 21, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    “they called me a drunk”

    That’s an insult? I consider any drunk who can make it to the front page of a New Times mag pretty accomplished. Don’t those haters know how hard it is to see the keys? 🙂

  15. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 21, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    JeffX – jealousy can certainly be an ugly emotion….maybe I don’t want to arrive 🙁

    You crack me up Brian!

  16. Jim Rake

    April 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    Ines –

    “take a deep breath and disconnect from the attacker or troll and realize that retaliation will only empower them”….

    Are you sure you weren’t a marriage counselor in another life?

    Unfortunately, the web’s “anonymity” is enticing for many who occupy the “cheap seats”….

    As some of my peers might say, “You GO GIRL”! Keep up the good work. Enjoy your writing.

  17. ines

    April 23, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Jim,
    in this business it feels like I’m a counselor every day! LOL

    Thank you, thank you!

  18. Laurie Manny

    April 25, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Everybody hates a winner!

  19. ines

    April 25, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Laurie, but it still sucks – you have your share of haters (thanks for having my back)

  20. Steve Beam

    April 26, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    “Miamism.com is a lifestyle real estate company dedicated to using media innovations to promote its services.”

    Great publicity for your site. The one sentence they wrote is PERFECT. I agree with Laurie, it just shows you are doing a great job! Keep it up! Sitting here in Colorado I enjoy your photos and funny tweets.

  21. ines

    April 27, 2009 at 7:39 am

    Thanks Steve – I guess the ugliness comes with the territory, no?

  22. Erion Shehaj

    April 28, 2009 at 4:30 am

    If only all drunks were like you 🙂

  23. teresa boardman

    April 29, 2009 at 4:26 am

    Ines I could write ten posts on this topic with the greatest of ease. I keep my focus on my job and I ignore much of the publicity I get. I sometimes don’t even go to read it. I get fan mail, and I get some un fan mail every week because of the things I write. I sometimes say no to the media because I know what they are up to and I don’t want to play. Other agents jump at the chance to do what I let pass by. Learning how to handle it all has been a job all by it self and I don’t get to write about it like you do because if I did it would make things much worse. I am held to a very high standard.

  24. Jay Thompson

    April 29, 2009 at 7:27 am

    I think we’re all held to a very high standard, or should be. And I don’t think this post undermines that standard at all.

    Real estate agents are people too. And baseless attacks, while they do come with the territory, don’t necessarily have to go unanswered or be ignored. Mean people suck, and sometimes they need to be told that.

    If nothing else, it can be therapeutic for the writer, and handled tactfully it can be educational for others and possibly even help Mr. Sucky Mean Person see the error of their ways. I’ve gotten apologies from bashers who then turned out to be good contributors.

  25. Kris Berg

    April 29, 2009 at 8:29 am

    Ines,

    I have been on the receiving end of mean. (A certain “Barbie post” comes to mind in which I was personally attacked and accused of everything from, I think, cruelty to animals to war crimes, all over a food drive!)

    I commiserate. And mean is unfortunately not reserved for the online space. I am seeing it IRL too as more people (including agents and customers) are feeling more scared and hungry — even desperate. “My life sucks, so I need to blame someone.”

    Some people will always feel better by making others feel bad. Insecurity will do that. You stick to your guns, girl. You deserve the cover, you deserve the publicity and you the deserve success. Brush it off, and don’t let the terrorists win. 🙂

  26. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    April 29, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    Erion – you crack me up 🙂

    Teresa – we all could learn a little from you, not doubt about it, but I’m with Jay…we have proven to hold ourselves to very high standards no matter how we choose to deal with our aggressors – for me it helps to communicate it to see if I can learn something from the experience….and low and behold, I have.

    Kris – I remember the barbie post and also remember going to defend you eventhough I knew little about you. You handled it beautifully and admire you for it. Brushed off it is…now to deal with bigger and better things.

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