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Opinion Editorials

Radiation heat and other half-baked property listing remarks

Are you cooking your own goose with your listing remarks? This week was a smorgasbord of blooper delights. Yes, real estate can be a pressure cooker, friends, but it seems  these agents have offered themselves up as the first course:

Plug In The George Foreman

“Radiation heat” (Oh great – Buy, Fry, then Die.)

“Flame retarded fabrics” (Unless you’re on fire, what’s your excuse?)

“Gas – landlord” ( Then don’t light a match near his arse.)

“Seller wants fist” (I’m not touching this one…)

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“Divorce special” (That’s what I thought until I received the attorney’s ten page invoice.)

And Now For the Side Dishes

“Drawing for Pad” (I suspect this is a retirement home…)

“Nice orifice”  (Please tell me that’s not the slogan on your business card.)

“Trees will be curt” (They must be French.)

“Low for nice aria” (How do you hit the high notes – tight boxers?)

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“Will disgust carry” (I agree with Carry – you certainly disgust me, too.)

Just Desserts

“Call about nice seller proposal” (I will if he has hair and a job.)

“Lawn just laid” (Well, at least someone is getting serviced.)

“Pets – no aloud” (But isn’t it hard to train them to sign with their paws?)

Autofill Blooper of the Week

“Incorrigible city views” (Welcome to Los Angeles, dude.)

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“Please ask for assassin” (Nothing would delight me more.)

 That’s it for this week, folks. Until next week, Spell and Sell!

Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Infobia

    February 29, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    These are too funny. I’d pay a premium for incorrigible city views!

  2. gwen banta

    February 29, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Dear @ Infobia – Now you know why I live in Hollywood! 🙂

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