RE Moments
Two Words
Business Marketing
“House on coroner” and other deadly marketing typos
Realtors that don’t proof read their property descriptions in the MLS inevitably end up in the hall of shame here at AGBeat. We hand pick these bloopers in hope that you will be inspired to check yourself before you go and wreck yourself.
Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks. On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).
Is There A Pulse?
“2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)
“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually accompanies a bad hangover…)
“No balls after 9 pm” (My ex had the same problem.)
“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)
“Sorry – already bought” (Sign taped to back of seats in the House Chamber.)
Can You Detect A Heartbeat?
“Stay toned for open house schedule” (Man, L.A. sure is a tough market!)
“View from top of hell” (Graffiti on the wall in the Oval office john. )
“Just needs lifts” (…said Tom Cruise’s agent to his producer.)
“Pool chub” (Caption under a photo of me in my bathing suit at the office BBQ.)
“House on coroner” (How convenient – he’s already there to pronounce himself dead.)
Pull The Plug
“Coop for sale” (Oh, is Foster Farms going out of business?)
“Drop in sot” (I see you’ve met the guys who play poker with Uncle Paddy.)
“Coy fish in big pond” (Where are the gregarious fish – in the kegger pond?)
“Big water fault in back” (That’s called a tsunami, and if I were you, I’d run like hell!)
Last Rites
“Bright, Quite garden condo. like home 3bads and 2 full bath, fire place3 tend-om parking, incloding refrigcrater” (Take the fork out of the socket and then remove your aluminum foil hat, because your hair is on fire…as is your career.)
Hope is Crap Spelled Backwards
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups
“Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw – hook ’em, book ’em and cook ’em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or the gym?)
“Brig bonus by New Year’s day” (Yay – a prison party – at last I’ll find a date!)
“Pets wilcome” (Ahhh, a veternarian’s Field of Dreams.)
From Those Who Should Be Hanged
“Christmas crab bag” (I think there’s an ointment for that.)
“Big troy drive” (Big Troy talk like Neanderthal.)
“Nice entertainment arena” (Proudly offered by Ringling Brothers Realty.)
“Fully rehabilitated upper level” (Let me guess – “Twelve Steps” to get there?)
“Breakfat room” (Lapband, anyone?)
“Come to holiday patty” (This is Hollywood, pal – if you pay Patty, she’ll come to you.)
“Enjoy the egg nod” (That explains how your head slammed into the keyboard.)
Can You Hang Somebody Twice?
“Celebrity hose” (Who did they belong to – J. Edgar Hoover?)
“You’ll like dip in pool” (I will if he’s cute and buys me dinner…)
“Ned addition” (Is Ned the dip floating in the pool?)
“Hug play area” (Ned again?)
“Please ignore big hole in yard” (Should I also ignore the casket with the dead flowers?)
And The 2011 Dufis Award Goes To…
“Buyers will flock like bees to hiney” (Okay, let me first stop laughing long enough to pen a smart-mouth comment. …Oh hell, I can’t….this is killing me…seriously, this has me on the floor, folks. Okay, let’s try again: “Buyers will flock like bees to hiney.” I’m sorry, I just can’t top that one other than to say:
“They must know an ass when they see one!”
The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS. However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:
Do You Smell Smoke?
“House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)
“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?)
“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will perk up those dull Vikings.)
“Large greenhose in back” (Large, naked Jolly Green Giant in yard.)
“Mush added to this house” (Was that the overflow from between your ears?)
I Think I See Flames
“Beautifully remolded guest” (Another cosmetically-altered Barbie hits the Hollywood party circuit.)
“Enjoy a drink poolslide” ( Hell, if the pool is sliding, I’ll need a whole pint of Jack.)
“Each bedroom has own bedrooom” (Hello-o-o, Alice, how are things down there in the rabbit hole?)
“Separate pod to build GH” (That should please my pea-sized buyers.)
“Play room for the kiss” (Something tells me this is the back seat of a ’67 Chevy.)
Still Smoldering…
“Ideal for gusts” (That’s great…if you want to live in a wind sock.)
“Impaccably detailed” (Incredibly challenged)
“Stylish pewder room” (Try burning a match.)
“Stone pillars flake driveway” (Flakey agent got stoned in driveway.)
Nothing But Embers (This Week’s Fave):
“From a bygone error” (You have just written your own epitaph.)
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Jeremy Hart
May 8, 2008 at 7:35 am
The post says it all. Seems like no comments are needed!
Jay Thompson
May 8, 2008 at 7:41 am
One word.
Genius.
ines
May 8, 2008 at 7:43 am
I “heart” Russel Shaw – he’s a good guy – and only good things will keep coming his way.
Jeremy Hart
May 8, 2008 at 7:46 am
Jay – touche’. Well done.
Kris Berg
May 8, 2008 at 8:12 am
Yea! Good one, Benn.
John Lauber
May 8, 2008 at 8:24 am
This is super!!!
Mariana
May 8, 2008 at 8:43 am
3 Words: Russell is Awesome.
Andy Kaufman
May 8, 2008 at 9:43 am
Awesome!
Welcome to AG Russell… super glad to have you here.
ines
May 8, 2008 at 9:47 am
Mariana ……and it rhymes! 🙂
Jonathan Dalton
May 8, 2008 at 9:47 am
I feel like I’m taking a Rorshach test …
Hearing Russell had withdrawn from Bloodhound Unchained was entertaining in that watching the keynote speaker – probably the main reason to attend, in hopes the mojo would wear off – walk away from the conference couldn’t have happened to a nicer individual than Odysseus. Or was this Brian’s conference …
It also was sad because there were folks who already had booked flights and hotel rooms to hear Russell speak and that opportunity went by the wayside … of who’s left, I’d travel to hear Jeff Brown and there are others I wouldn’t cross the room to listen to. But that’s probably like any conference.
At the end of the day, my sincere hope is that Russell’s withdrawal isn’t out of some sort of personal emergency. I’d like to think he took his leave at Bloodhound for the same general reasons as Jay, Kris and Jim Duncan before him.
There’s a fine line between aggressive and rabid and some days, from the few posts forwarded to me since I dropped BHB from the feed reader, it seems like it’s getting to closer to heading to the shed with Timmy.
Jay Thompson
May 8, 2008 at 11:43 am
“it seems like it’s getting to closer to heading to the shed with Timmy”
Old Yeller reference?
Wouldn’t that be Travis? Timmy was Lassie’s boy. I think…
Not that it matters in the least. Excellent points all around!
Lani Anglin-Rosales
May 8, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Russell is a massively successful agent and has many more years of experience than most of us- he has a lot to share and is a *wonderful* teacher, I am confident that his writing here will further ALL of our careers. We are very excited to add a new genius! WELCOME, RUSSELL!
Ann Cummings
May 8, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Woo Hoo!! Glad to know where Russell’s new home is!
Russell – I look forward to reading your posts here on AG, and congrats on the move!
monika
May 8, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Congrats to AG on attracting Russell! I look forward to reading Russell, so I am very happy he found a new home.
Brad Nix
May 8, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I catch a lot of this type of news later than most, but I did hear it from Benn first and I look forward to watching Two Words help AG take another step forward. Good stuff happening here.
John Wake
May 8, 2008 at 6:38 pm
So this is where all the cool kids are hanging out now. Cool!
Matthew Rathbun
May 8, 2008 at 6:40 pm
SO VERY COOL!!!!! I wanted to be the first to say “welcome”, but I just couldn’t get to the PC soon enough. Look forward to reading you, again!
Dru Bloomfield
May 8, 2008 at 6:54 pm
🙂
Kaye Thomas
May 8, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Russell is terrific.. glad to see he has a new home..
Maureen Francis
May 8, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Checkin’ in to welcome Russell. We are glad to have you here!
Cyndee Haydon
May 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Welcome Russell Shaw – Kudos to AgentGenius to keep attracting great bloggers!! Looking forward to reading Russell’s posts here!!
Jonathan Dalton
May 8, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Wow, Benn …
You landed Gordon Gecko!
Bill Lublin
May 8, 2008 at 9:43 pm
I don’t know Russell Shaw – So I looked around a little – 26 years with the same company – sounds like a guy I would like (I’m real big on loyalty and relationships)
Then I found a couple of blogs he wrote and I though – boy this guys is pretty articulate – I might like him a little more – Then I read his blog about Barry Cunningham and I wonder – do I have family our west that I haven’t met?
You guys know how honored I am to be associated with all of the geniuses, and I’m just as happy to have another role model for me to admire! Benn thanks for keeping the bar so high (and for letting me slip under it!) 🙂
Welcome from one of the new kids Russell, I look forward to reading you.
Jay Thompson
May 8, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Bill –
Russell Shaw is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Incredibly giving and sharing of his knowledge and talent. You should hear him speak some time — if you ever get the chance, go. You won’t regret it.
He’s an incredible agent, but an even better person.
Laurie Manny
May 9, 2008 at 2:23 am
Nice landing Russell.
Daniel Rothamel, The Real Estate Zebra
May 9, 2008 at 8:22 am
SWEET!
Welcome aboard, Russell! I’m glad that I won’t have to miss out on any of your insight or advice. When I heard you were leaving BHB, I feared that you might be leaving the blogosphere entirely.
Erion Shehaj
May 9, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Wow!! Just this morning I was reading comments on “Bidding Farewell to Russell Shaw” on BHB where 97% of commenters (myself included) were wondering where Russell was going. I guess we know now…
I think it’s just a perfect match…!!
Barry Cunningham
May 9, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Hey Bill..I am confused as to the reference on your comment…so it is okay to personally attack someone? Is that what you’re saying or do I have it wrong? Or is it okay to personally attack as long as it’s not…well we know..?
Just wondering if I missed a memo or thought in your exuberance in finding your west coast relative!
In any event, not sure what led to Shaw’s exodus from BHB and perhaps I’ll never know but it’s always fun to match wits.
Doesn’t really matter where. Let’s get the dance underway!
Steve Trimboli
May 9, 2008 at 11:48 pm
… and if you don’t like me FIRE me.
Vicki Moore
May 12, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Welcome aboard!