Did I Say That?
“Nice now – much better than beef” (McDonald’s ad – shortly after the “meat” was identified as wildebeest…)
“Just needs a moo” (Said the McDonald’s inspector shortly before placing a skull and crossbones on the door.)
“AC will be faxed” (Interesting – is it a paper fan?)
“This is a multiple offer scenery” (Grinned the sailor as he exited the house of ill repute.)
“Hidden safe in closet” (Uh, do you see any contradictions here, Sherlock?)
“DWP must remove 2 tees” (It’s hard to keep those annoying aerialist golfers off the power lines.)
Did I Mean That?
“Hand-painted tikes” (Uh, either you have ugly kids or those are garden gnomes, dude.)
“No evidance of shiting” (Have you tried a coffee enema?)
“Attendant on roof will be removed” (Obviously this house is on a Jet Blue flight path…)
“Cleaver use of metals” (“Lizzie Borden took and ax…”)
Did I Type That?
“Cat in driveway will be towed” (Can’t you just give him a ticket and a Denver Boot?)
“House on tent acres” (That’s good to know for my bivouac weekends with the Boy Scouts.)
“Drop in for a few migetes” (Uh, I believe they prefer to be called “small people.”)
“Electric decor” (Reason #1 not to wear a metal hat in the bathroom if your aim sucks.)
Did I Pass That???
“No open house Super Bowel Sunday” (Another Saturday night at The Burrito Beanery, eh?)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

JoeLoomer
March 26, 2014 at 2:27 pm
Hey! Leave Sailors out of it!
Navy Chief, Navy Pride