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“Gas not corrected” and other MLS stinkers

This week’s MLS and real estate ads had a distinct odor, friends. From gas to dryrot, it seems homes are becoming offensive. Moral of this blog: You can’t sell it if you can smell it!

Something’s Rotten in the State of Denmark

“Gas not corrected” (Perhaps you should try Beano.)

“New deposit roof” (I suspect it’s crappy work.)

“There’s dry rot in eve” (News alert, Adam – you’re no Clooney yourself.)

“Nice crone molding” (Is the crone named Eve?)

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“Rehabed bungalow in sa fpart of Venice” (‘Doubt it – most fparts are deadly.)

Celebrity Rehabbed

“Upstairs area uplifted.” (Hey guys – Pamela Anderson got a new set of who-whoos.)

“What a breaut!” (Said Clay Aiken while hanging Adam Lambert’s photo on his wall.)

“Call for affirmation” (Okay, Sally Field – I like you already!)

“Tub flew in from Italy.” (Welcome back, Roseanne.)

“Please do not handel the roses.” (No Chopin ‘em either?)

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All Aboard the Titanic

“Plans drowned for new landscaping” (Methinks this one is sunk from the get-go.)

“Beautiful cabinets and fizzures” (Designed by San Andreas, I presume.)

“New lettucework and bar on patio” (Must be a salad bar)

“Newly upgrated” (Sounds pretty cheesy to me.)

Last Rites

“A home worth baaging” (Bag ‘em and tag ‘em  – this listing was DOA.)

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Sheila Rasak

    November 5, 2010 at 11:03 am


    Always such a delight to read your comments! I’ll admit to a little something here. After seeing a listing in one of my favorite Camarillo neighborhoods, I alerted the local board of Realtors to several infractions that I found on an out of area agent’s listing. I know it was semi-evil when I also asked the board if this agent could be cited for uploading listings into the MLS while intoxicated and suggested a breathalyzer test. Truth be told, the agent was making this home nearly impossible to sell and the homeowner had a notice of default on their record. Sad, but true.

  2. gwen banta

    November 5, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    I enjoy providing some laughs, Sheila, but your comments are a reminder of how careful we must be when describing the homes we sell. Words create mental pictures and impressions, so they are as valuable as photos. I have seen the same problem with photos that are so bad that I ignore the listing in my property searches. And as these properties sit, it’s the seller who suffers. That being said, we are all fallible, so sometimes we must laugh at ourselves when we do make an error. My favorite has always been “Live near the Hollywood Bowel”!

  3. Wholesale Investment @

    November 5, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    As an English major, it’s hard to see these typos being made. Sometimes it helps to type things out, step back for a few hours and go back to proof. Let the eyes rest so they catch the ‘rong’ words. It definitely isn’t fair to the seller, or the real estate in question, but as you said, we’re only human. Keep the laughs coming!

  4. gwen banta

    November 6, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    @ My House Deals – Thanks for your comment. I think it also helps to have a “third eye”…hopefully someone who is literate!

  5. Rob McCance

    November 7, 2010 at 11:37 am

    ha ha-ha! as always!

    Nice work, Gwen.

    BTW, you have poisoned my. Every time I see a typo in our MLS system, I think about you.. Not sure that’s the distinction you wanted, but hey..

  6. Janie Nagy

    November 7, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    It is not just the property listings. Our MLS advised agents about the distinction between detached and attached “residents.” Didn’t know we had Siamese twins in the area.

  7. gwen banta

    November 7, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Janie, that’s a classic – simply hysterical! May I use it and credit you in my next blog?

    • Janie Sue Nagy

      November 7, 2010 at 1:48 pm

      Feel free to use it. Here was the MLS text regarding MLS violations:


      At first glance you might think that this violation is referring to the garage, but it’s not. It applies to Single Family Resident listings and it’s referring to the actual structure. The challenge is; does the structure share a common wall with the neighboring structure? Your first thought would be no; however, there are a small percentage of Single Family Residents (SFR) that are attached; they’re known as Planned Unit Development (PUDs).

  8. gwen banta

    November 7, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Thanks, Janie – look for it (and your name) in next week’s blog. Incidentally, your website is excellent!

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