If you’re following the plot, I live in Connecticut. Plus I have an occasionally, um… “quirky” I believe is the positive word for it real estate photography/agent blog.
Okay… go off to Google Analytics if you haven’t already been there. Just a crap load of stats you can get once you put the little widget on your blog somewhere. (I recommend embedding it in the footer somewhere).
Anyway – check out this map of America.
The darker the green is, the more website visits I get from that particular State.
So you can see some generally minor across the country interest, likely mostly all other RE bloggers.
Connecticut is a nice dark green, so that’s good. Means I’m hitting my State pretty well.
Hang on… California is a huge readership.
I’m bigger in California than in Connecticut?!?! Wow, maybe I should get licensed there. (Relax, I’m only 4% serious on that count)
Anyway… moving on to the next point I’m going to make – we’re walking, we’re walking.
I got contacted my one of my Connecticut blog readers – yes an actual live consumer – to come take photos of his house in Wallingford. Now Wallingford is about 35–40 mins drive south of where I live in Bristol. Plus I’m talking 85% of that drive time is on I-84 and I-691.
I have never been to Wallingford before.
But all I’m doing is the photographs. I’ve got one drive to get there, clicky clicky, and return home. (NB* “clicky, clicky” refers to 2.5 hours of effort shooting, staging and smoozing with the seller.) Anyway the story comes out that seller is mucho unhappy with their agent. For some very legit reasons too. Listing expires Dec 31st. We’ll limp out the year with what we got, after that please take the listing.
Anytime I get a check to do a listing appointment, I count that as a win. 🙂
Here’s the thing though – I don’t really need to know overly much about Wallingford to sell a house there. One or two trips down and I’ve shot photos, got a lock box in place, visited Town Hall, met the sellers, signed the agreements etc etc. 99% of everything else I’ll be doing is by phone, fax and Internet. If I’m the least bit worried about pricing I’ll spring for a CMA from a local agent, heck maybe even a proper appraisal, though based on showings and their price I am pretty mentally firm on where they should be already.
Ding Dong, Geography Is Dead. Why bother keyword crunching to win a tiny little neighborhood when the whole State is within reach? Admittedly Connecticut is geographically petite, so I can count the whole State as my farm area, your mileage (groan) may vary.
As a caveat though – buyer side 40 miles away? Are you fluffy bunnies crazy?!? Refer that out.
“House on coroner” and other deadly marketing typos
Realtors that don’t proof read their property descriptions in the MLS inevitably end up in the hall of shame here at AGBeat. We hand pick these bloopers in hope that you will be inspired to check yourself before you go and wreck yourself.
Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks. On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).
Is There A Pulse?
“2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)
“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually accompanies a bad hangover…)
“No balls after 9 pm” (My ex had the same problem.)
“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)
“Sorry – already bought” (Sign taped to back of seats in the House Chamber.)
Can You Detect A Heartbeat?
“Stay toned for open house schedule” (Man, L.A. sure is a tough market!)
“View from top of hell” (Graffiti on the wall in the Oval office john. )
“Just needs lifts” (…said Tom Cruise’s agent to his producer.)
“Pool chub” (Caption under a photo of me in my bathing suit at the office BBQ.)
“House on coroner” (How convenient – he’s already there to pronounce himself dead.)
Pull The Plug
“Coop for sale” (Oh, is Foster Farms going out of business?)
“Drop in sot” (I see you’ve met the guys who play poker with Uncle Paddy.)
“Coy fish in big pond” (Where are the gregarious fish – in the kegger pond?)
“Big water fault in back” (That’s called a tsunami, and if I were you, I’d run like hell!)
“Bright, Quite garden condo. like home 3bads and 2 full bath, fire place3 tend-om parking, incloding refrigcrater” (Take the fork out of the socket and then remove your aluminum foil hat, because your hair is on fire…as is your career.)
“Breakfast hook” – More MLS hoots and hang-ups
Well friends, this is my last blooper post of the year, and I still have not run out of material. I don’t know whether to thank these hapless agents or to flog them. At the very least, Perhaps I should commend them for sending us off into 2012 with a lot of laughter. Enjoy these bloopers, and have a Happy New Year everyone!
For Those With Hang-Ups
“Kitch with breakfast hook” (Heehaw – hook ’em, book ’em and cook ’em!)
“Indescribable wildlift” (How are those diet pills workin’ out for ya, sweetie?)
“Bif gym fully equipped” (Who’s more fully equipped – Bif or the gym?)
“Brig bonus by New Year’s day” (Yay – a prison party – at last I’ll find a date!)
“Pets wilcome” (Ahhh, a veternarian’s Field of Dreams.)
From Those Who Should Be Hanged
“Christmas crab bag” (I think there’s an ointment for that.)
“Big troy drive” (Big Troy talk like Neanderthal.)
“Nice entertainment arena” (Proudly offered by Ringling Brothers Realty.)
“Fully rehabilitated upper level” (Let me guess – “Twelve Steps” to get there?)
“Breakfat room” (Lapband, anyone?)
“Come to holiday patty” (This is Hollywood, pal – if you pay Patty, she’ll come to you.)
“Enjoy the egg nod” (That explains how your head slammed into the keyboard.)
Can You Hang Somebody Twice?
“Celebrity hose” (Who did they belong to – J. Edgar Hoover?)
“You’ll like dip in pool” (I will if he’s cute and buys me dinner…)
“Ned addition” (Is Ned the dip floating in the pool?)
“Hug play area” (Ned again?)
“Please ignore big hole in yard” (Should I also ignore the casket with the dead flowers?)
And The 2011 Dufis Award Goes To…
“Buyers will flock like bees to hiney” (Okay, let me first stop laughing long enough to pen a smart-mouth comment. …Oh hell, I can’t….this is killing me…seriously, this has me on the floor, folks. Okay, let’s try again: “Buyers will flock like bees to hiney.” I’m sorry, I just can’t top that one other than to say:
“They must know an ass when they see one!”
“House has spark” – burning up the MLS with typos and other bloopers
The year is starting a march toward its natural ending, friends…and it seems a few real estate careers may be also. This week I found some real head-scratchers in local real estate ads and the MLS. However, I get submissions from all over the U.S., so no one is safe from the eyes of the Blooper Scooper. Check out these blunders:
Do You Smell Smoke?
“House has spark” (Apparently your real estate career isn’t the only thing going up in smoke.)
“Big pep area in kitchen” (Is that the cookie jar where Mommy Dearest stashes her uppers?)
“Dull Viking ovens” (Methinks there’s something in the cookie jar that will perk up those dull Vikings.)
“Large greenhose in back” (Large, naked Jolly Green Giant in yard.)
“Mush added to this house” (Was that the overflow from between your ears?)
I Think I See Flames
“Beautifully remolded guest” (Another cosmetically-altered Barbie hits the Hollywood party circuit.)
“Enjoy a drink poolslide” ( Hell, if the pool is sliding, I’ll need a whole pint of Jack.)
“Each bedroom has own bedrooom” (Hello-o-o, Alice, how are things down there in the rabbit hole?)
“Separate pod to build GH” (That should please my pea-sized buyers.)
“Play room for the kiss” (Something tells me this is the back seat of a ’67 Chevy.)
“Ideal for gusts” (That’s great…if you want to live in a wind sock.)
“Impaccably detailed” (Incredibly challenged)
“Stylish pewder room” (Try burning a match.)
“Stone pillars flake driveway” (Flakey agent got stoned in driveway.)
Nothing But Embers (This Week’s Fave):
“From a bygone error” (You have just written your own epitaph.)
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