“Oops – Maybe I Should Have Mentioned That!”

A Swarm of Chickens

I heard a funny story from a colleague the other day. He said he was setting up an open house and was ready to open when he remembered to turn on the basement light. To his shock, he glanced down the stairs and was greeted by a “swarm” of chickens! According to him, there were so many chickens that they were climbing on top of each other and vying for dominance like a pack of steroidal World Wrestlers. He immediately called the seller, who explained that there had been a fire on his brother’s ranch in Ojai, so they had moved the chickens to the basement the previous evening. “I guess I should have mentioned that before you arrived” the seller mumbled. He then added sheepishly, “Maybe you shouldn’t look in the back yard.”

Oops Moments

It occurred to me that I had experienced a few “Oops Moments” myself, and when I asked around the office, I heard some great tales. Here are a few things the client SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED…but didn’t until it was too late:

“Did you see my son’s snake – it’s gone.” (No, but I saw an agent running North on the freeway in her high heels.)

“Did you notice the mushroom growing at the base of the toilet?” (Yeah – I had to put a glass over it and call it a terrarium.)

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“I should have mentioned that the back step is loose.” (Tell that to Mrs. Hinkle’s hip, which is now lodged in her diaphragm.)

“Did you see those strange plants my son is growing behind the garage?” (Uh-oh – did you see how many open house visitors wanted your home-grown “mint” in their iced tea?)

“Oops, I meant to tell you not to show the house before 8:00 am because my neighbor waters his garden in his boxers.” (Oops – the incessant butt scratching was a real treat, too.)

Unconscious at the Wheel

“Oh that – well my husband got drunk last night and drove through the garage wall.” (Has it occurred to you that he’s still in the car?)

“Sorry – I accidentally left the door to the dog cage unlocked.” (Sorry, I accidentally left your house unlocked and wrote “Free Stuff” on your front door.)

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“Did I mention we got a new alarm?” (No…did I mention that the EMT guy was cute but those paddles on my chest were no picnic?)

“I didn’t tell you about the mold I painted over because I didn’t want to worry you.” (And I didn’t tell you about my cousin Sal “Crunch” Angelino because I didn’t want to worry you.)

“Didn’t I tell you it was broken?” (That’s the same question the EMT asked poor Mrs. Hinkle.)

“I forgot to warn you my mother would be there – I know she’s VERY critical.”  (Did you also know she LOVES iced tea with lots of your home-grown “mint”?)

I guess I should have told you the toilet has been overflowing. (And I guess I should have told you I was serving La Salsa burritos at the Open House…)

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“Oh, maybe I should have hidden the collection of porno in the shed…” (Nah – your butt-scratching neighbor is out there in a lawn chair “reading the articles” to your stoned mother!)

Go Forth and Survive!