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Return of the bubble gum interviews – Bertoldi is up first

Michael Bertoldi

Years back, I used to do what we lovingly dubbed “bubble gum interviews” with real estate bloggers. They’re just a list of silly interview questions we ask that typically get relatively silly responses, but the ultimate point is for us all to get to know each other better and for a little bit of a laugh at the end of the week.

Today, we’ll start with AG writer Michael Bertoldi who is pictured to the left as a child on the beach, crying due to salt water or sand in his eyes, but instead of a hug and a towel, someone slapped ginormous glasses on him and said, “say cheese, Mikey!” At least that’s how I’m picturing it went down. So without further ado, here is how Michael held up to the bubble gum interview…

A shoe fetish and overpronation tips

Question: How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Answer: I have about 31 pairs of shoes. Hey, whatever! They range from running shoes like Asics and New Balance to Nikes and Jordans. Then there’s a few dress shoes and your everyday slip-on styles but my most used and abused pair of shoes are my plain, dark brown Sperrys.

So, you’ve exposed me! I have a thing for shoes, but I can explain. I’ve worked in footwear at about three different stores including New Balance where I was a Procare foot specialist. I know a thing or two about footwear but I can’t hide behind that, I do indeed have a shoe habit that probably came before the jobs. Oh well. Here’s a tip for all my AG reading runners – if you overpronate which means your feet roll inward or you’re flat footed, get a stability shoe! They’re the ones with grey stuff on the inside. Pow!

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“Don’t get your pee on my bluetooth.”

Question: name something weird about you- an OCD habit, if you will.

Answer: I’m slightly germaphobic. I can’t stand stuff touching the ground, especially in the bathroom or in an area where a bathroom is nearby. Hey look, we all know there’s tinkle on the ground in the bathroom. People step on it and walk out of the bathroom, you drop your ear piece in that vicinity – you get the picture. I’ve let an earpiece hit the floor in a bathroom before and I think it took a couple days for it to start working properly again after the alcohol dried. And of course, there’s been times where I touch something after washing my hands and have to wash them again.

Projectile vomit in the Walmart

Question: Tell us a your most embarrassing barf story (you can be the barfer or barfee).

Answer: When I was a kid, my cousin and I were at Walmart. See, that’s the thing about a barf story. I don’t remember why we were at Walmart, who we were with, or how we got there. All I remember is the barf. Well, this was before the Super Walmart era when it was just, well, a Walmart. Remember those? You walked in and on the left side there was a snack stand. My cousin and I were making a pit stop walking through the snack stand to the bathroom. That’s where this life long memory of yack happened – right there in the Walmart snack area.

We were walking toward the bathroom and two young girls were walking out. One girl had her hand over her mouth. Oh yeah. You see where this going. Have you ever washed your car or watered flowers with a standard hose? If so, you know how you control the water spray with your thumb? Yeah, so when I tell you the girl who had her hand over her mouth hurled right as we walked by, you can paint that picture right? I mean if she just barfs straight ahead I think we’re in the clear, but no. She keeps her hand on her mouth so it spews sideways right onto the side of my head. Marinate on that for a minute. Needless to say we continued on our route to the bathroom. I mean, seriously? Why was she walking AWAY from the bathroom? Oh well. Many shampoos and haircuts later, all is well and at least I had an answer for this question.

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Hot chicks in high cut shorts

Question: Name a celebrity you had a crush on as a kid.

Answer: Two really come to mind. Kelly Kapowski (if you don’t know her real name, you better ask somebody) and Jenny McCarthy. The late 80s and early 90s were awesome!

Lebron James is so pretty and fierce

Question: If you were an animal, what kind would you be and why?

Answer: I’d probably be a tiger – the animal tiger. I’ve grown up playing all sorts of sports and tigers are ridiculously athletic. Sure they look calm in the zoo, posing for pictures and being lazy, but do you know how far those things can jump? Do you know how fast they can run? Think Lebron James mixed with Adrian Peterson.

The wrapup:

So Michael Bertoldi is in love with Kelly Kapowski, shoes, Adrian Peterson, being germ free and not being barfed on in a Walmart. Isn’t it fun getting to know one another? Now that you know Michael better, what do you think? Spill it in comments!

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Lani is the COO and News Director at The American Genius, has co-authored a book, co-founded BASHH, Austin Digital Jobs, Remote Digital Jobs, and is a seasoned business writer and editorialist with a penchant for the irreverent.



  1. BawldGuy

    June 25, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    Um, this explains a lot. I can hear your buddy just after the girl barfed on ya. “Awesome Dude!”

    • Michael Bertoldi

      June 25, 2010 at 12:26 pm

      Hey, what’s this explain? haha. I definitely did not think it was awesome. I mean your own product is one thing, but a stranger’s is just gross.

  2. John Byrd

    June 25, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    That’s about the coolest interview I’ve ever read!! It’s good to know that your real estate agent is a real person. I raise my bottle of hand sanitizer to you, sir!!

    • Michael Bertoldi

      June 27, 2010 at 1:58 am

      lol. I appreciate that John. That was a good one and the hand sanitizer is much appreciated sir.

  3. Joe Loomer

    June 28, 2010 at 6:51 am

    I’m still laughing about the “thumb on the garden hose” explanation of the hurl.

    I am – however – convinced that Mike is crying in the picture because of the ugly shirt he was forced to wear. 😉

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

    • Michael Bertoldi

      June 28, 2010 at 12:32 pm

      Joe, if she just would have let it go straight I think I would have been in the clear!

      And regarding the shirt, my Dad is from Michigan. I grew up an Alabama and Michigan fan. But lately, I’ve kind of forgotten about Michigan. Ah well.

  4. LesleyLambert

    June 28, 2010 at 11:17 am

    Good stuff! I love a man who can confess a shoe fetish!

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