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10 ways to be a REALTOR Bully

Let’s face it – in a world of real estate sharks, the biggest and meanest will win the biggest prize, will make the most money and will have the largest number of devotees.  So what are you waiting for?  It is all about YOU and YOUR bottom dollar.  Time to be selfish people!!!  Here are 10 ways to be a successful Realtor Bully:


1.  When showing your own listings to other agents, make sure you have a lot of branded paperwork and flyers to hand out to their clients – this is a foolproof way of getting your name and contact information in their client’s face.   Throw client etiquette out the window….that’s for wussies.  Handing print outs of your other listings is also a great idea because you know the other agent is not doing their work.

2.  Never EVER let a cooperating agent speak – it’s your listing after all, so make sure you show the property, make sure you don’t let them get a word in, and sound confident and arrogant.  Conversation should be directly with the client, never with the other agent….that would only show weakness and show the client who is in control.

3.  When receiving offers, lower the cooperating agent’s commish as much as possible (never your own) – and scare them into thinking that if they don’t accept counter as-is, the seller will walk.  This is especially effective when you know the buyer has been looking for a while and really, really wants the house.  Don’t worry, you will not be reported to the local board because that agent needs to work with you because you “own” the area.

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4.  Show up late to your appointments – this will demonstrate superiority.

5.  Contradict cooperating agent as much as possible in front of the client – again….you need to show the client you are better than the schmuck they hired.

6.  It’s all about the size of your bite.   Being boisterous and overbearing, even if you don’t know what you are talking about, will always guarantee that the client pays more attention to you.  Think obnoxious! and never show weakness.

7.  When you get a good listing that can benefit one of your clients, make sure you make that listing inaccessible to other agents.  This will guarantee a good price for your client and possibly a double commish for you! Talk about a Win Win!

8.  Schedule showing appointments at the same time – the more the merrier.  Don’t let cooperating agents know ahead of time and let them all show up at the same time.  This will give prospective buyers a sense of urgency, making the property seem desirable while at the same time making them feel pressured.  (the memory of their reactions will provide entertainment for months to come).

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9.  If you get an offer on a listing that will not benefit you – don’t present it!  Forget Real Estate Law, who’s going to find out anyway?

10.  You are the best, remind yourself and everyone that surrounds you at all times.  Your top producer status should be posted everywhere you can possibly print stuff on – the amount of transactions should be there as well (doesn’t hurt to exaggerate a bit either) and make sure you go out of your way to put down and lie about your competition.

DISCLOSURE: If you did not recognize the sarcasm above, you should not be out alone and could be a danger to society.  Please reconsider your current position and lighten up…….sometimes a mojito can help 🙂

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Written By

Ines is all Miami, all the time. A Miami Beach Realtor® with Majestic properties, Ines authors,, and and is always on communication's leading edge. She goes out of her way to engage and be engaged, often using Mojitos to keep the mood light and give everything she does a Miami flavor. You can find her goofing off or instigating trouble at Twitter, Flickr, Facebook or LinkedIn.



  1. Jim Canion

    October 5, 2009 at 8:40 am

    Great post Ines..I was on 4th point before I realized
    the spoof….

  2. Barry Bevis

    October 5, 2009 at 8:48 am

    I hate to say it but there is some evil genius goodness behind #8

  3. Joe Peffer

    October 5, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Nice list Ines. These are just some of the traits that make up “that guy” —and I so strive not to be “that guy”. Consumers are slowly coming around to figure out that “that guy” who thinks he owns the market may not always be looking out for their best interests after all.

  4. Atlanta Real Estate

    October 5, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Ines – way too funny!

    I was recently showing homes in the $3M and up range. For every home, I of course needed an appointment, proof of funds or PQ letter for my buyer…AND a compelling story about my buyer – all just to get in the front door.

    (can’t really blame them actually)

    Also, on each one, the listing agent was there and insisited in doing the entire tour. This was actually a good thing as well because of the various stories behind some of these homes and all the hidden features and construction details.

    For example, who knew the painted siding on this on $2.9M place was actually MOHOGANY! And that the owner is a famous comedian on The Comedy Channel, which I have not watched since college.


    But anyway, back to your post. I dealt with three of these over dressed, over bearing super agents and in all three cases, they each did at least half of your list there, and in one case, almost all of them!

    I like when one of these know-it-alls got stumped by my buyer when he asked, “what’s the difference between marble and travertine..”

    The superagent made a very weak attempt to answer it, then (like a PRO) diverted my client off to some waterfall in the basement. I answered it for him later in the car.

    Great post!


  5. ines

    October 5, 2009 at 10:15 am

    LOL @Jim (ooops….sorry – you must have thought…..she has lost her rocker)

    Barry – I think that’s the one that pisses me off the most 😉

    Joe – there are some market where the consumer is not getting it – it’s as if those markets were made up of the “uneducated consumer” – never seizes to amaze me

    Rob – here in Miami it is always “agent accompany” especially for the high end stuff. The things I see and hear!! We should have a place to share stories – it would make an extremely entertaining blog.

  6. Atlanta Real Estate

    October 5, 2009 at 10:22 am

    I think it’s actually a good thing that they are there for the high-end stuff, but they don’t need to do ANY of the items on your list to add value.

    It is tough, weird, uncomfy, etc., to take an back seat while another agent walks your client around for an hour, looking like a know-it-all because they really know that particular home.

    But, it’s better than the alternative.


  7. Matt Stigliano

    October 5, 2009 at 10:45 am

    @Ines – Do you have a series of motivational CDs for your new fast track to success program? I would like to be just like you.

    Oh wait, you were only kidding? Uh, yeah…me too.

  8. ines

    October 5, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    @rerockstar I swear I almost spit out my green tea 😀

  9. Kevin Tomlinson

    October 5, 2009 at 7:16 pm


    I do all of these. It does make me feel superior and I love it.

  10. Missy Caulk

    October 5, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    I’ll use this in my team training next week. woot.

  11. Portland Real Estate

    October 5, 2009 at 7:23 pm

    I didnt catch the sarcasm quick enough. I was halfway through the list before I realized that this person was being funny, not completely crazy.


  12. ines

    October 5, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    @kevin no kidding?

    Missy – let me know how that goes – WOOT!

    Tyler….better late than never

  13. moises cohen

    October 5, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    Be yourself, laugh and don’t take yourself too seriously….sounds easy enough!! Thanks Ines!!:)

  14. ines

    October 6, 2009 at 12:30 am

    That’s exactly correct Moises 😀

  15. Suzanne Oostdyk

    October 6, 2009 at 1:47 am

    Geez Ines…you got me! I was thinking “What has the world come to….a post like this!”
    I know the types…it works for them. And yes we do have to work with them.
    They feel superior but they are really small in many ways………;-K

  16. Mack Perry

    October 6, 2009 at 7:54 am

    When I started reading this I began to wonder how many Mojito’s were consumed just before the fingers hit the keyboard. I knew the author of this article could not be that wonderful individual that I meet in Atlanta this past spring. Oh well, thanks for reminding me to lighten up!

  17. Joe Loomer

    October 6, 2009 at 8:07 am

    Great list Ines – like Missy – I’m pushing this one to Team Meeting!

    I believe you may have spent some time in our dear city to put this list together – that and the nearby Aiken area MLS with their hoighty toighty horse-ranch nincompoops.

    I would add a #11 –

    Never under any circumstances answer your phone – this makes you seem too eager and under-nourished. Always make everyone leave you a message and have someone else make your voicemail prompt – preferrably someone of your opposite gender – “You’ve reached the HUGE office of Super-Agent Lotta Listings. We’re obviously swamped because we don’t suck like you, so leave a message, we may or may not call you back at our leisure.”

    If the message is to schedule an appointment – return the call precisely five minutes before the scheduled window.

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  18. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    October 6, 2009 at 9:40 am

    You have no idea how happy it makes me that a lot of you have fallen for the post and then figured out my twisted sense of humor.

    Suzanne – agreed 🙂
    Mack – big smile over here (but looks can be deceiving – LOL)
    Joe – when I started the list, I thought I would have problems coming up with 5, and by the time I got to 10 realized that the list could be soooo much longer – the “I don’t answer the phone and have billboards with me with a phone on my ear” is most cynical part of it all. Again…..we need a place to share our stories and be able to laugh about them later.

  19. Doug Francis

    October 6, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    Sorry, but agent faces kept popping in my head as I read each one… funny but often true. Really, people who made my head spin.

    And yes, I am in the ReMAX Hall of Fame thank you very much… next!

    (disclosure:past performance does not guarantee future success)

  20. Paula Henry

    October 6, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    Ines – What a great list – I knew before I got here this was a spoof, but you hit the nail on the head and it may not be a spoof after all. We all recognize those who took “Super Agent” training. Think Obnoxious 🙂

  21. Ines Hegedus-Garcia

    October 6, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Doug – and past performance does not guarantee ethical behavior either

    Paula – don’t get me wrong, I can be plenty obnoxious…..some of these bullies get the best of me (and I knew you would absolutely recognize the spoof)

  22. Kim Settler

    December 31, 2009 at 1:06 am

    Although this is meant to be a joke, I actually experience some of these “attributes in a Realtor” today from a local Realtor. I didn’t allow it and subsequently, he is so busted with his client, as we called his lies! Alas, the good gal wins! YES!!

    One would think that this was an actual marketing tool used in the 50’s. Back in the days when Marlborough’s made the man and home made pies made the woman. haha! Love It! Keep em coming!

  23. ines

    December 31, 2009 at 10:21 am

    It’s not really a joke, it’s sarcasm because there are so many bullies in out market – don’t know if you missed the link from the first paragraph –

    We are surrounded and there is a way to put a stop to them….but it’s not easy if you work with these on a daily basis and if they are highly regarded by the community.

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