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Agent’s remarks: Be aware there are dead animals and sex toys in the home

imgresI came across these two funny blog posts recently about weird stuff found in sellers’ homes. Playboy Bunnies on the light switch face plates, handcuffs on the bedposts and (with apologies to hunters) Bambi’s dad’s head affixed to the wall.

What’s the weirdest stuff you’ve seen in a seller’s house?

Written By

Writer for national real estate opinion column AgentGenius.com, focusing on the improvement of the real estate industry by educating peers about technology, real estate legislation, ethics, practices and brokerage with the end result being that consumers have a better experience.

19 Comments

19 Comments

  1. ines

    March 31, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    Ben,
    your link to the handcuff post is broken. I had a funny showing this weekend when we walked into a house where one wall was full of crucifixes of every size and color possible – our buyer is Jewish and we made a joke out of it, “Here’s a wall just for you” and now he refers to the property as “the house with the crosses”……..so important to neutralize a home for sale.

  2. Marc Kusherman

    March 31, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    I’ve got two to share. One was a machete under the bed, paired with the deep freezer in the basement. Scary. The other was a bomb shelter that looked like something out of a WWII movie. I was told it was 500 feet below ground at its deepest point. It was pretty amazing.

  3. Vicki Moore

    March 31, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    I want the handcuff link! I guess I’m finally going to have to write a post about the house that had a domnation room in it. (Not kidding.)

  4. Maureen Francis

    March 31, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Well, there was the luxury home where the party had taken place the night before. My whole office came in to see a $2.5m listing. There was a naked woman sleeping in a bed and puke in the sink in the powder room. I guess they forgot we were coming. I bet the woman was pretending she was asleep. If there were 45 people parading through my bedroom and I was hungover I would definitely keep my eyes shut and hope I was having a bad dream.

  5. Mariana

    March 31, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    Actual agent remarks: “Follow path through Seller’s belongings to view home. Do not turn left at kitchen. That path leads to dead angfel fish. I am sorry.”

  6. Mariana

    March 31, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    What have we SEEN? Top 3:
    A basement of unexpecting teens smoking ***.
    A lady passed out drunk on the sofa.
    A man dead on the toilet. (Okay, not me but a girl in my office found him.)

  7. Karen Rice

    March 31, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    I saw an inflatable doll in someone’s basement one time. In a strategic location on the doll’s anatomy, someone penned in permanent marker “Doug Was Here.”
    (*Name changed to protect the innocent, or not so innocent, whatever the case may be.)

    My favorite Private remark: “You Must Call for An Appointment or the Owner WILL Be THERE.”
    Sounded like a THREAT.

  8. Jim Duncan

    March 31, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    Taking Mariana’s cue …. here are some agent remarks from a listing in our area – ” Small dog will bark and may bite if you attempt to kick her. Please call agent to remove her before showings if you are scared of small dogs”

  9. Judy Orr

    March 31, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    1. We were not warned that the home we were viewing belonged to a taxidermist. When we went into his “office” in the basement we were greeted by a huge collection of stuffed birds and other animals. It felt like we were in Ripley’s Believe It or Not.
    2. I opened a door to a bathroom and felt something banging on the other side. It was a huge enema bag set-up being proudly displayed.
    3. One home featured bloody panties soaking in a bathroom sink along with a sanitary belt (that was obviously a long time ago).

  10. Matthew Rathbun

    March 31, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    short version: Pastor, his wife and five homeschool children being shown property with “fun room” displaying countless open adult magazines and other assorted items on the bed. Divorcing couple, had husband trying to keep folks from buying home…. it worked.

  11. Bob

    March 31, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Top 3 in particular order:

    – Living room with bullet holes and blood on wall – reminded me of St Valentines Day Massacre
    – Part of an office caravan with 30+ agents in older craftsman style home hearing a 70 yr old agent scream when she opened a bedroom door and interrupted a couple… of guys.
    – dresser in bedroom and on top was mirror, razor blade and a few specks of white powder

  12. Larry Yatkowsky

    March 31, 2008 at 10:33 pm

    another agent attached to the handcuffs wearing Bambi’s clothes .>)

  13. Annie Maloney

    April 1, 2008 at 8:52 am

    This is not an experience that I had, BUT, could you imagine discovering what was hidden in this house. Long article, but UNBELIEVABLE!!! https://www.ssqq.com/archive/vinlin19.htm

  14. Bill Lublin

    April 1, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Short version – Owners in Florida for the winter, showing in the afternoon, open the Master Bedroom Door – surprise! Owner’s Son his and girlfriend trying to stay warm without clothes!
    New record set for bedroom door closing –
    🙂

  15. Andy Kaufman

    April 1, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    We were walking through one of our new REO assignments a few weeks ago and came upon a case of bandit signs reading “Real Estate Investor Seeks Apprentice”. Good a good laugh out of that one. This house also came with a crack security team, actually make a team of crackheads, who kept breaking in and ‘dropping the kids off’ in a plastic tub in the middle of the basement and doing other shady stuff (don’t wanna know).

    Then, when we went to check on another one of our listings last week, we walk up to the front and notice that the large wooden front door was missing (along with both of our lock boxes). Called our handyman for a bid & he just started laughing.

  16. Athol Kay

    April 3, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Photos of not exactly handcuffs, but defintely “restraints” in a house for sale are here. Scroll down to #310. 😉

    The house with 30+ samurai swords was spooky.

    Raccoon in attic. Angry.

  17. Sue

    April 4, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    I was showing a townhome which was a total wreck. Actually seemed like a crack house or something. We were commenting on what a wreck it was, how could anyone live like this, how disgusting is that, can you believe this….on and on. While standing in the living room, I put my hand on the back of the couch and felt a foot thru the blanket. Evidently there was a passed out or sleeping human under the blanket on the couch. Now, I don’t know if it was a he or she, dead or alive. I looked at my client and my eyes got big. He picked up on it right away and we just eased our way out. He bought the place and fixed it up.

  18. David Wyrick

    March 28, 2009 at 1:38 am

    Coming upon unexpected taxidermy makes me think of Norman Bates (Psycho). It probably causes negative associations with a lot of people.

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