I SELL HOUSES
I feel better now that I’ve gotten that off my — out. I know times are tight. This week I’ve gotten pitched by three people – two of them fellow agents – wanting to sell me their multi-level marketing – let’s call it what it is – pyramid scheme. I’m polite. I drank the kool-aid. Listened to the pitch. Today someone had to show me their wrinkle iron.
They don’t just want me to buy the product, they want me to become a distributor. That’s where the money is they tell me. I tell me I know where the money is. It’s where I’ve devoted the past six years of my personal and professional life – sometimes walking across a stage to receive a super-sized paperweight, sometimes breaking into the change jar for lunch money.
Lemme Get This Straight
You want me to pay you to join the club? You then want me to devote my time, money and brain power in a direction that has nothing to do with my profession? In case you didn’t notice, I am a professional. You want me to call the most valuable thing I have in my business – my clients – to tell them that I now sell gold coins?
The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people! -Randy Pausch
I didn’t drag my a** all this way to sell the latest miracle drink. Believe me, I understand the need for cash. Me = single and living in one of the most expensive economies in the country – ask Arnold.
How about you? How badly do you want it?
Funny video most real estate professionals can relate to
Have you ever had a buyer that was so enthusiastic about their potential home that they have a list a mile long of requirements? The front door must face east, the windows must be Pella brand, the carpet must be cut pile berber, it must be within two lots of a fire hydrant, needs to have wooden rods in the closet, not metal and of course the exterior paint must be barn red.
You already know what home they need and will love based on their actual needs and you’re going to show them that house, but in the meantime you may end up feeling a bit like the character in this video that is just so funny, we can all relate to (whether about a buyer or otherwise):
Can you relate? Maybe in a former career or if you’re one of our readers that is a designer first and foremost?
Funniest Realtor parody videos you’ll see all minute, guaranteed!
Who says the phenomenon of funny cat videos and stupid girl falling in a fountain while texting at the mall videos don’t spill over into the real estate world? We’ve highlighted three hilarious real estate videos below that are well worth the ten minutes to watch, even if you’re in the office and have to put headphones on.
Video 1: theagent.tv… the best part is at 2:29… MOVE!
Video 2: I Love You, Man… the best part is the whole clip. If you haven’t seen this horribly inappropriate movie, the lead character is a Realtor. He is awesome.
Video 3: Realtor loves his job. Or something… the best part is at 0:39. Is that the fireplace over there!?
Tell us in comments which video moment caught your eye!
A pig and a poke (The MLS “Menu”)
This week I actually got hungry reading the MLS and the LA Times real estate ads. Check out these bloopers so you can see what’s currently on the menu. I must warn you, you may want to hit the sauce and trim the fat:
I’m In the Mood For Food
“This hame is well stocked.” (Thank you, Porky Pig.)
“Hear is the glolden egg!” (…Which apparently comes scrambled.)
“Counter w/ new pop and fresh” ( Fat little dough boy included.)
“This one has alla the gravy” (Said Carmella Soprano as she proudly served her baked ziti.)
“You’ll marble when you see this beauty” (Bummer. At least Lot’s wife got to be a condiment.)
“We hamdle REOs” (That’s one way to bring home the bacon.)
Ham Fingers…So The Pork Lingers
“Small pad w/ view of peer” (Why go home when you can sleep at the office?)
“This is not a TIC” (…said Jeff Goldblum’s hands.)
“Cabinets w/ polished mental inserts” (Listing w/ punch drunk mental idiot.)
“This is a Short Shale” (Say that five times really fast.)
Is It Happy hour Yet?
“Just done finished floored” (Bottle done, finished agent on floor.)
“Cork floors in bar aria” (Methinks the cork was popped several drinks ago.)
“Stunning hammerred doors” (Offered by stumbling hammered dufus.)
“This condonimiun has all the trimmins” (Sauced agent has the tremorrrrs.)
SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE – THE FINALE!
“Bask in the warm sin by the pool” (Yay – party at Charlie Sheen’s pad!)
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