We are in a land of great opportunity. And the invention of email has given way to a plethora of even MORE wonderful opportunities!
When I am not being notified that I just won the Nigerian Lottery, I get opportunities to help widows of important political figures invest hundreds of thousands of millions dollars in safe accounts. In return, I am offered thousands of dollars for my time.
They always ask if they can completely trust me (see #4 below), which leads me to believe that I MUST be able to completely trust them. It is a no-brainer, right?
Below is a copy of one of the many emails that I get on a weekly basis. I am one lucky woman…
What a great investment opportunity!
Greetings to you,
My name is Mrs Helen Kologo, I am contacting you because of my intention to invest in your country. This is why I decided to write you, to tell you about myself, which I believe you would be of great assistance to me I am the wife of late Chief. Kenneth Kologo. My husband was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast. My husband died before the start of the political crisis which is going on in our country Coted’ivoire.
Before the death of my husband on November 2005 in a private hospital he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of Eight Million,Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars. USD($8.500,000) in a bank here in Abidjan Ivory Coast as a family treasures that he used my name and my son’s name for the next of kin in depositing of the fund. He also explained to me that he might not survive the situation then.However That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose and upbring of my son Jonnas who is with me right now.
I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regard .
Now permit me to ask these few questions:-
(1)Can you help me for the retrievements of this fund on my behalf and son Jonnas from the bank here to your country by transfer?
(2)Can you make an arrangement for me to come over with my son to your country and invest the money strictly on your advice?
(3) Can you honestly take us as members of your family and help to invest this money wisely?
(4)Can we completely trust you?
(5) We ready to offer you 15% of this USD($8.500,000) I hope it is acceptable by you?.
Please,Consider this and get back to us as soon as possible so that i can forward the documents to you after we must have agreed on the conditions for your assistance. Our life is not safe here and we need to be out of here as soon as possible
I want to leave here as soon as you help us to have the money transfered out of here and Lodge into a safe account in your stable country We are waiting for your reply.
Thank you so much.
Tel. +xxx xxxx xxxx
Madam Helen Kologo and son Walter
… or not.
Funny video most real estate professionals can relate to
Have you ever had a buyer that was so enthusiastic about their potential home that they have a list a mile long of requirements? The front door must face east, the windows must be Pella brand, the carpet must be cut pile berber, it must be within two lots of a fire hydrant, needs to have wooden rods in the closet, not metal and of course the exterior paint must be barn red.
You already know what home they need and will love based on their actual needs and you’re going to show them that house, but in the meantime you may end up feeling a bit like the character in this video that is just so funny, we can all relate to (whether about a buyer or otherwise):
Can you relate? Maybe in a former career or if you’re one of our readers that is a designer first and foremost?
Funniest Realtor parody videos you’ll see all minute, guaranteed!
Who says the phenomenon of funny cat videos and stupid girl falling in a fountain while texting at the mall videos don’t spill over into the real estate world? We’ve highlighted three hilarious real estate videos below that are well worth the ten minutes to watch, even if you’re in the office and have to put headphones on.
Video 1: theagent.tv… the best part is at 2:29… MOVE!
Video 2: I Love You, Man… the best part is the whole clip. If you haven’t seen this horribly inappropriate movie, the lead character is a Realtor. He is awesome.
Video 3: Realtor loves his job. Or something… the best part is at 0:39. Is that the fireplace over there!?
Tell us in comments which video moment caught your eye!
A pig and a poke (The MLS “Menu”)
This week I actually got hungry reading the MLS and the LA Times real estate ads. Check out these bloopers so you can see what’s currently on the menu. I must warn you, you may want to hit the sauce and trim the fat:
I’m In the Mood For Food
“This hame is well stocked.” (Thank you, Porky Pig.)
“Hear is the glolden egg!” (…Which apparently comes scrambled.)
“Counter w/ new pop and fresh” ( Fat little dough boy included.)
“This one has alla the gravy” (Said Carmella Soprano as she proudly served her baked ziti.)
“You’ll marble when you see this beauty” (Bummer. At least Lot’s wife got to be a condiment.)
“We hamdle REOs” (That’s one way to bring home the bacon.)
Ham Fingers…So The Pork Lingers
“Small pad w/ view of peer” (Why go home when you can sleep at the office?)
“This is not a TIC” (…said Jeff Goldblum’s hands.)
“Cabinets w/ polished mental inserts” (Listing w/ punch drunk mental idiot.)
“This is a Short Shale” (Say that five times really fast.)
Is It Happy hour Yet?
“Just done finished floored” (Bottle done, finished agent on floor.)
“Cork floors in bar aria” (Methinks the cork was popped several drinks ago.)
“Stunning hammerred doors” (Offered by stumbling hammered dufus.)
“This condonimiun has all the trimmins” (Sauced agent has the tremorrrrs.)
SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE – THE FINALE!
“Bask in the warm sin by the pool” (Yay – party at Charlie Sheen’s pad!)
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