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You want me to do what? The USPIC Law Of Lending.

Have you heard the latest news in lending?

stigliano-pee-cup-300x300I had heard about it a bit here and there, but never by name. I had even had it happen to me personally, but I never thought much about it. According to a conversation and some serious research between @mayaREguru, @toddwaller, @linsey, @staceyharmon, and myself, it’s national in scope. This could be the biggest news for consumers regarding the lending business since Roosevelt’s New Deal.

I advise you all to drop what you’re doing and get on the phone with your clients – especially those currently under contract. You have to make sure they understand the USPIC Law Of Lending. If they don’t, there may be problems at the closing table. The whole transaction could self-implode…wasting a month or more of work for you and the consumer. Imagine the look of anger on the face of your client when they realize it fell apart because you forgot to mention the USPIC Law Of Lending. It won’t be something you want to see, trust me.

The USPIC Law Of Lending: What is it?

The USPIC Law Of Lending (also know by it’s shorthand name (you know how we Realtors® love to abbreviate everything to death) USPIC-LOL) is defined as follows:

USPIC Law Of Lending
The law defining that no matter what an underwriter asks for, you must tell your client to do it – even if it doesn’t make sense.
Taken from the tweet: “If the underwriter asks you to pee in a cup, do it – is what I tell my clients.”
Date of discovery: December 17, 2009
Shortened form of: “Underwriter Says Pee In Cup” Law Of Lending

As you can see from the definition, this could be the most important theorem ever put out into the real estate blogosphere. Thanks to the UNDER-OMNIBUS (Underwriter’s Omnipotence in our Business), USPIC is a law that can not be broken, rewritten, or even bent slightly. There is no escaping USPIC-LOL.

Thanks to my friends on Twitter for the inspiration, especially since I was a day late with my post.

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photo courtesy of chunkysalsa

Written By

Matt is a former PA-based rockstar turned real estate agent with RE/MAX Access in San Antonio, TX. He was asked to join AgentGenius to provide a look at the successes and trials of being a newer agent. His consumer-based outlook on the real estate business has helped him see things from both sides. He is married to a wonderful woman from England who makes him use the word "rubbish."



  1. Todd Waller

    December 17, 2009 at 9:26 pm

    Are we sure there isn’t a RESPA violation here somewhere? I mean, the lender is getting a benefit from something our client gives them but is not accounted for on the HUD statement…

    Why is my wife staring at me? I’m not giggling THAT loud….


  2. Stacey Harmon

    December 17, 2009 at 9:41 pm


  3. Linsey

    December 17, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Comic relief is the only respite after a day of Underwriting hell. Thanks to my Twitter friends for your quick wit! 🙂

  4. Joe Loomer

    December 18, 2009 at 6:20 am

    Awesome, Matt! I thought I was reading a Gwen Banta post for a minute! You’ve got me thinking about how to write a “Twelve Days of REALTOR Christmas!”

    Navy Chief, Navy Pride

  5. Ken Brand

    December 18, 2009 at 8:22 am

    I’m concerned. Peeing in a cup is easy, except when someone is standing there watching. If they start requiring people to simultaneously rub there stomach and pat their head, well, approvals will plummet.

    You know what else? If you don’t develop a wicked sense of humor, the biz may eat you alive.

    Thanks @rerockstar @mayaREguru, @toddwaller, @linsey, @staceyharmon


  6. Matt Stigliano

    December 18, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Todd – The day RESPA start tracking things like that is the day I begin to question the regulations that we work under. Then again, I guess it’s not different than pre-RESPA when vendors would ply you with alcohol. Same results, different reasons.

    Stacey – Glad you liked it. It’s nice to just have some fun with real estate once in awhile and (pardon the pun), as the English would say, “take the piss.”

    Linsey – If it helped you calm down after a day of underwriting hell, I can only say “mission accomplished.” We all need to laugh occasionally – especially after one of those days.

    Joe – I don’t think there’s a compliment bigger than evoking the name of Gwen Banta on a post that was meant to make people laugh. Let me know when you get that post written, I’m sure it will be excellent.

  7. egoldre

    December 18, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Does this tie into the BS:WTF rule?

    • egoldre

      December 18, 2009 at 4:46 pm

      And by that I mean Buyer Says: What’s that for? of course ; )


  8. Jackie

    December 18, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    The one word for you AWESOME

  9. Paula Henry

    December 20, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Matt – sorry I missed this one – comic relief much needed this week. Unfortunately, there is a shred of truth to the fact; whatever the underwriter needs!

  10. Gwen Banta

    December 21, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Why is everyone laughing? Do you mean sexual favors aren’t really required of the agent? I thought it was I was supposed to be UNDER the underwriter. And to think the guy actually made ME pay for his “services!” (Incidentally, the loan still fell through.)

  11. Matt Stigliano

    December 21, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    Erin – I like your rule, but the USPIC-LOL basically deletes that. No questions, just do.

    Jackie – Glad you liked it.

    Paula – If an underwriter says jump, I only ask “through the window or off the cliff?” Thanks again for the comments on Facebook.

    Gwen – Only you could have written that comment. Had your name or face not been there, I would have pegged it as you immediately (or maybe, just maybe assumed it was Joe Loomer posing as you). Sad part is, it’s not as funny knowing you live in L.A. I know plenty of farm girls fresh off the Hollywood Greyhound station that probably would have believed it.

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