Barking Up The Wrong Tree
The gaffes and laughs were all over the MLS and the real estate ads this week, friends. Do you recognize your listing remarks in any of these? If so, I’ll promise not to rat you out if you send me lots of money… or martinis…
“View from fat area” (The only view from my fat area is my shoes.)
“Thought after area” (After-thought agent.)
“Wiggle room here” (This must be a strip club on Sunset.)
“May ham bank approval” (If you are referring to B of A, mayhem is an understatement.)
Catting Around
“Fresh cat of paint” (What’s the cat’s name – Dunn Edwards?)
“Persians in lvg room already bought” (Already bought what – most of Los Angeles?)
“You’ll enjoy coattails on the veranda” (That depends on what he’s wearing underneath the coat.)
“Dog hose matches architecture” (According to fashion experts, Fido’s hose should match his ensemble.)
“New draims” (Old draim bramage.)
Animal House
“Hole in flor not fixx” (Let me guess – you’re Flor, the hole is in your cerebrum, and you need a fix…)
“Big state sale” (It seems the Bushes are trying to unload Texas…)
“Choose your own fissures” (Said the doctor to the intern while waving a cauterizing instrument over a patient’s hairy bum.)
“Ligation has been resolved” (You untied your tubes?)
In the Dog House
“Go to my log for details” (How much detail can there be in four inches?)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell Well and Sell!
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.
