Quarantining, sheltering in place, staying home. We’re tired of hearing it; we’re tired of doing it. Yet, it’s what we still need to be doing to stay safe for a while longer. All of this can be lonesome. As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months, the alone time is getting to even the most introverted among us.
Solitary confinement is considered one of the most psychologically damaging punishments a human can endure. The New Yorker reported on this in a 1992 study of prisoners in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, as well as Vietnam veterans who experienced isolation. These studies showed that prisoners who had experienced solitary confinement demonstrated similar brain activity to those who’d suffered a severe head injury, noting that “Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.”
We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures. Your “pandemic brain” is real. That fogginess, the lack of productivity, can be attributed to many things, including anxiety, but being kept apart from other humans is a big part of it too. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, and join others virtually. Be it an app, a class, a Facebook group, a chat room, or a livestream, someone somewhere is out there waiting to connect with you too.
The good news? We are lucky enough to live in an era of near limitless ways to interact socially online. Sure, it is different, but it is something. It’s important. The best thing about this type of social interaction is being able to hone in on your specific interests, though I’d caution you against getting caught in an online echo chamber. Diversity of interests, personality, and opinion make for a richer experience, with opportunities for connecting and expanding your worldview.
Here are a few suggestions on ways to socialize while staying home and staying safe. Communicating with other humans is good for you, physically and mentally.
Interactive Livestreams on Twitch:
Twitch is best known as a streaming service for video game fans, but it offers multiple streams appealing to different interests. This is more than passive watching (although that is an option, too) as Twitch livestream channels also have chat rooms. Twitch is fun for people who like multi-tasking because the chat rooms for popular livestream channels can get busy with chatter.
While people watch the Twitch hosts play a video game, film a live podcast, make music or art, mix cocktails, or dance, they can comment on what they’re watching, make suggestions, ask questions, crack jokes, and get to know each other (by Twitch handle, so it is still as anonymous as you want it to be) in the chat room. The best hosts take time every so often to interact directly with the chat room questions and comments.
Many Twitch channels develop loyal followers who get to know each other, thus forming communities. I have participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Master Pancake movie mocks a few times because they are fun and local to Austin, where I live. Plus, in my non-quarantine life, I would go to Master Pancake shows live sometimes. The chat room feels familiar in a nice way. While watching online is free, you can (and totally should) tip them.
Online trivia in real time:
There are some good options for real-time online trivia, but I’m impressed with the NYC Trivia League’s model. They have trivia games online on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. The NYC Trivia League seems to have figured out a good way to run the game live while keeping answers private from the other teams. They run games on Instagram Live with a live video of the host, and participants answer via the question feature. Clever!
Online book club:
First I have to shout out my Austin local independent bookstore, BookPeople, because they are fantastic. They run book clubs throughout the year, along with readings, book signings, and all things book-related. BookPeople hosts several online book clubs during these lockdown days, and most people will find something that appeals to them.
I’m also impressed with this list from Hugo House, a writer’s resource based out of Seattle. This list includes Instagram and Goodread book clubs, book clubs for Black women, rebels, and poetry lovers. The Financial Diet recommends the Reddit book club, if you are comfortable with the Reddit format. Please note that it’s a busy place, but if you like Reddit, you already know this.
Cooking class or virtual tasting:
This is doubly satisfying because you can follow these chefs in real time, and you end up with a meal. There are a couple on Instagram Live, such as The Culinistas or Chef Massimo Bottura.
You can also participate in virtual tastings for wine, whiskey, or chocolate, though you will have to buy the product to participate in the classes (usually held over Zoom or Facebook Live). If you are in Austin, Dallas, or Houston, I recommend BeenThere Locals. The cost of the course includes the wine, spirits, or cooking kit in most cases, and all of the money goes to the business and expert hosting the class.
Look for your favorite wine, spirits, cheese, chocolate makers, and chefs that are local to you to find a similar experience. Most either prepare the class kit for pickup or delivery within a local area.
Quarantine chat:
To interact with another quarantined person seeking social interaction, there’s Quarantine Chat. Quarantine chat is one of the ways to connect through the Dialup app, available on iOS and Android devices. Sign up to make and receive calls when you want to speak with someone. The Dialup app pairs you randomly with another person for a phone conversation, at a scheduled time, either with anyone or with someone with shared interests.
Quarantine chat takes it a step further with calls at random times. When your quarantine chat caller calls, you will not see their number (or they yours), only the “Quarantine Chat” caller ID. If you are unable to pick up when they call, they will be connected with someone else, so there is no pressure to answer. It’s nice to hear someone else’s voice, merely to talk about what you’ve been cooking or what hilarious thing your pet is doing.
Play Uno:
Uno Freak lets people set up games and play Uno online with friends or strangers. Players do not need to register or download anything to play. Uno Freak is web-based.
Talk to mental health professionals:
If your state of loneliness starts sliding toward depression, call someone you can speak to right away to talk over your concerns. When in doubt, call a trained professional! Here are a few resources:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET, 800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org.
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to this text line 24/7 for someone to text with who will also be able to refer you to other resources: U.S. and Canada: 74174, U.K. 85258, Ireland: 50808.
- Psych Central has put together this comprehensive list of crisis intervention specialists and ways to contact them immediately.
There are many ways to connect even though we are physically apart. These are just a few real time ways to interact with others online. If you want something a little more flesh and blood, take a walk around the block or even sit in a chair in front of where you live.
Wave at people from afar, and remember that we have lots of brilliant doctors and scientists working on a way out of this. Hang in there, buddy. I’m rooting for you. I’m rooting for all of us.
Carole Cohen
January 30, 2008 at 5:51 pm
It is unfortunate. I am so fortunate that the Pres. of Howard Hanna is not only supportive but talks about my blog to others a lot. I’m not going to change my style but I always pretend my Mother and a client are on my shoulders when I blog. I don’t know what else we can do. In my humble opinion, a lawsuit was bound to happen somewhere, they affect all other aspects of our lives.
Good post, Ines
Chris Griffith
January 30, 2008 at 5:53 pm
You got ’em Ines and they’re brass.
Jason Elder
January 30, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I found your site on google blog search and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. Just added your RSS feed to my feed reader. Look forward to reading more from you.
– Jason.
Ines
January 30, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Carole – the blogging world is too new to know how things will turn out – I think the discussion at Jay’s post is really important for everyone to follow as well…..and unfortunately this will be the first of many.
Chris – I borrowed them from you 🙂
Sparky
January 30, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Wherever Ines posts, there go I… I think there are times when we need to be guarded regarding the information we dispense and to whom. Here in WA State, a statutory relationship can be established by simply giving counsel. I wouldn’t want to provide advice to someone who is already under contract with another agent, or is involved in an ‘open’ transaction. But that’s just me….
Ines
January 30, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Jason – thanks so much for that – I like to hear someone is reading what I write.
Sparky – did you bring some crab to share? seriously, we get comfortable in our skin and although it’s ok to express our opinion we need to understand that there is malice in this world. I really wish Lucas the best of luck and hope EWM reconsiders.
Ann Cummings
January 30, 2008 at 6:23 pm
How very sad that our society is so litigious….. I do wish Lucas the very best in this situation.
Jonathan Dalton
January 30, 2008 at 6:32 pm
The first question I asked the owners of my new real estate brokerage is if they have any issue – any issue with a real estate blog as marketing. The answer was no. They actually have their own blog (though they need to cut and paste newspaper articles a little less and link a bit more, but that’s just me.)
I maintain this suit isn’t about a dollar figure but about the chilling effect on real estate conversation. I keep coming back to that term because it’s appeared in multiple freedom-of-speech, freedom-of-the-press cases over the years. Or so I vaguely remember from Comm Law a billion or so years ago.
Mark A.
January 30, 2008 at 6:34 pm
As a blogger, checking the facts prior to breaking a story (or even an opinion) goes without saying. After all, it’s the blogger’s credibility that’s at stake. I don’t know all the facts around LL’s case, although I’ve been reading a number of posts about it, in the past few days. But this case is important, because it will hopefully settle once and for all, where we as bloggers stand: Full transparency for consumers, or forget about Realtor blogging altogether. That is, if the parties to the lawsuit don’t decide to head towards a settlement (which happens all too often).
Ines
January 30, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Ann – it IS sad and more obvious when I hear kids saying “why don’t you sue him?” – it’s here in the US though, not so much in other countries.
Jonathan – I’m glad to hear about your new brokerage and the best of luck with you as well. Real Estate conversation is where it’s at, and at the same time, truthful and open real estate conversation can get you in trouble.
Mark – the case is very important to LL and to all of us – we’ll surely stay tunned to the results.
Ines
January 30, 2008 at 8:14 pm
https://blog.miamicondoinvestments.com/2008/01/30/food-for-thought/
Robert D. Ashby
January 30, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I don’t think the good bloggers out there have anything to worry about, at least not yet. Disclaimers are for those who have something to hide (my opinion). I am only concerned in regards to the fact I have lost faith in our legal system. Remember the golden rule: He who has the gold rules. That appears to be the case if this actually goes to court, or even settles out. What am I concerned with; our blgos being told what we can or cannot say as dictated by those who have the most money.
Ines
January 30, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Robert – that is definitely a legitimate concern – when you look at the scheme of things, one single real estate agent in a sea of hundreds (even thousands) has to go to court because a big dog frowns on what he said. I guess it’s pretty flattering for LL to know that the developer thinks of him as such an influential person, most people would have never even found out about the project if it weren’t for all the mess – concerned about the legal battle or the media strategy?
Larry Yatkowsky
January 30, 2008 at 10:23 pm
hey Ines – here’s my blah, blah, blah.
Blogging needs a little more science. Before you postulate – be absolutely certain of your facts and the source you are quoting. If you are the source, document and keep those documents as safe as possible. Failure to do so may result sometimes years later, in getting a Miami-slap upside the head.
Really – is it much different from acting as a professional realtor?
While I am deeply sorry for this poor blogger, I suggest that many merrily go about blogging in a righteous manner thinking that somehow they can say or do what ever the hell they want without consequence. Blogging is not a private tea party where you whisper unkind things about your neighbour and wash it away with Earl Grey. Blogging is very sticky. It is the Full Monty with pants crumpled around your socks. None of us should ever lose sight of the fact that if you say it in a blog the world knows – instantly. Faster if you have high page rank! Blogs bloated with opinion need tempering with reason and compassionate measure.
On the other hand…………….. .>)
without reason nor measure, it is without prejudice that I really think the developer is just a cranky old snot who is losing his ass in the market like so many other people in America and is taking his angst out on one of our Miami brothers. He might consider joining the gal in California and do a class action against all realtor bloggers just for sport.
Bartender!
Ines
January 30, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Larry – You had me cracking up at the end!
We should keep in mind that what we write is here to stay – there are many eyes on us and our articles will outlive us (scary thought). And for us that make mistakes, it’s better to recognize them, and make the appropriate corrections. I don’t know about you, but it is a never ending learning process.
Lucas Lechuga
January 30, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Thank you Ines for providing a link to my latest post. I think it brings up a lot of concerns that have been voiced to me by other bloggers within the last couple of days. This court case could have huge ramifications for the blogosphere. I also want to state that I have not been served yet. From what I’ve heard, EWM was served on Friday.
In case the county is having a difficult time locating me:
You can find me during recess, outside the gym, underneath the staircase, behind the stack of papers right after lunch. See you there. I’ll try to make sure I have a hall pass to be there.
If anyone at agentgenius.com would like my take on the story then feel free to call me. 786-247-6332.
Larry Yatkowsky
January 31, 2008 at 12:23 am
Ines,
gosh i’m sorry!
I unconditionally apologize to you personally, all ladies and some men who read that comment. I want to retract the part about the Full Monty. Having now looked in the mirror, I recognize that it is not pretty. Having committed that unfortunate lapse in judgement and upon much reflection, realize that it was not a reasonable action nor was it compassionate for it may have caused heart attacks, throbs, disgust or premature blindness.
Bartender – Gimme another!
Ines
January 31, 2008 at 9:10 am
Lucas – I know you have a lot of support from the blogging world (especially Real Estate Bloggers) and it would be great to get your side of the story. Thank you for the opportunity and I will certainly take you up on that.
Larry – thanks for your great sense of humor.
Kevin Tomlinson
February 2, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Hey Ines,
Did you mean what you said about >>..Enough is enough, I have Lechuga and Hollow up to my eyeballs already?
I’m super-glad you are fed up with this story. I couldn’t take another one. It would almost be like beating a dead horse.
All the national media, celebrity bloggers, bubble bloggers have covered the story beautifully.
I know you wouldn’t compromise your journalistic integrity by boring us with another Lechuga post. I hope not!
If I was Lucas, I would be completely insulted with the picture you chose. Yes, yes we know his last name means lettuce in spanish –BIG DEAL. It’s like you trash him (oh, I’m tired of hearing about it) AND THEN you post on it. We get it, Ines. Are you going to say you are OVER IT and then write two posts on it? That doesn’t sound like your “over it” at all.
What you say and what you end up doing, don’t make sense.
Benn Rosales
February 2, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Hi Kevin, nice to see you around. I think that whatever your problem with Ines might be, that it is better served in private. I can certainly appreciate your feelings on the issue, but we’d like to think that Mr. Lechuga will need all of the support of all of the re.net right now, including our readership that includes members of the NAR.
I personally asked Ines to fill us in on the details from a local perspective and from what I’ve read the story has been absolutely diluted by the conversation of blog disclaimers, whether Lechuga was wrong, and attacks on him by some in the re.net for not vetting stories- all of which is hearsay as we both know.
So in the interest of not getting off message in the Lechuga case and a rally around him, agentgenius.com supports Lechuga, including Ines, but also see how the intense coverage may be fanning further flames- which is the context in which this post was meant.
I hope you will take this offline and email Ines directly.
Hope to meet you at Inman…
Sincerely,
Benn Rosales
agentgenius.com
Kevin Tomlinson
February 2, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Ben,
I don’t have a problem with Ines. The beginning of her post basically says she is “tired” of hearing about it. Further, a picture is added with a person with lettuce stuffed in her mouth; not appropriate or cute, it is demeaning. And finally the comments turn to “let’s interview you for another post.”
Am I wrong?
Benn Rosales
February 2, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Because at the time in discussing with Ines directly whether we should take Lechuga up on his offer or not, we actually decided that he probably really shouldn’t say anything (this has been in debate for a few days now). We’ve since decided to wait for his legal council to set the tone for whatever conversation he makes.
Lechuga had a sense of humor on the header, it got a lot of traction in comments, and more people understand the balance of the story- it simply is her style of writing.
You’re not wrong, but you are missing the tone element here and I hope you’ll give Ines the benefit of the doubt.
Lets unite.
Mariana
February 3, 2008 at 10:32 am
I imagine that the Miami RE Bloggers MUST be up to their eyeballs in this story, but no one else seems to be. Thank you, Ines, for bringing your local perspective to the rest of the non-Miami world.
Plaxen
August 27, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I think it is appropriate to add a disclaimer not because writer is unsure about what he or she has written but there is a fear of misinterpretation. It is good to take precautions.
Ines
August 27, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Plaxen, it is our responsibility to check facts or quote sources but you are right, misinterpretation is another problem we need to deal with as bloggers….and not to say the responsibility we have with comments as well.
Jonathan Benya
April 20, 2010 at 2:09 pm
What’s sad is that there is no brokerage that is willing to stand behind a guy that specifically said “in my opinion”; not the broker’s, not the company’s, HIS OPINION. Any legal defense fund set up for this guy yet? I’ll contribute!
ines
April 20, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Jonathan,
the suit has been dropped, and Lechuga had to write an apology letter and post it statically on his blog for a period of time. The result for him was more exposure and increase in business….and I’m sure tons of stress at the time.