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“Priced to Cell” and other MLS dingalings

What a week – the fun never stops when it comes to MLS bloopers! Thanks to the always funny Matt Stigliano  of Texas and Philadelphia’s Fred Glick for their contributions. And thanks also to Anna Altic  for the strange real estate ad she spotted in Nashville. (I’m still trying to translate that one.) Check out these gaffs if you want to begin your New Year with a chuckle:

Not Even If You Ask Politely

“Please leave business car on counter” (I will if you leave your hot brother in my driveway.)

“You better hairy” (Said Robin Williams’ mom when she saw his back…)

“Entertainment room w/ large wet bra” (I’m not even going to ask…)

“Just what yo buyer long fo” (Thank you, Snoop Dogg.”)

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“New construction Won’t last” (Finally – Truth in Advertising!)

Not Even If You Beg

“Drawing at Open for Burka Bag” (Honey, a burka is a bag – a body bag…and that’s as attractive as a turd hat!)

“Large floral dining for family needs” (Don’t the leaves get stuck in your teeth?)

“Be sure to chick locks” (How ’bout if I wrap ’em in pink angora?)

“Vivid pant colors” (Hello, Jack Nicklaus, your trousers have been located.)

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“Con Perms provided” (I bet the inmates at San Quentin just love Curly Hair Day.)

You Can’t Even Give It Away!

“Priced to cell” (Apparently this is a mobile phone service for hookers.)

“No permits, but built to cod” (What is this – a house for Nemo?)

“Please remove shoes, wear boobies.” (The West Hollywood  nancy boys are gonna  love this!)

“Big shet out back” (He hit a detour on his way to Washington.)

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There’s A Fool Born Every Minute:

“Doors stuck, kept slut” (Seen on  Eliot Spitzer’s  T shirt.)

Bonus Round:

And here’s another head-scratcher from Matt Stigliano:

“Dest Deal of the Year!!!…Beautiful Home with great curve appeal, large kitchen…walk-in paintry. Mesterbedroom downstairs…East commute” (I think they had Matt at “curve appeal.”)

Thanks to Anna Altic for the ad she spotted:  “Open House” …on vacant land…on Christmas Eve…two years from now. (Some people really had way too much fun in the sixties.)


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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn,, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.



  1. Fred Glick

    December 31, 2010 at 9:33 am

    How about this idea: In order to renew your real estate license you will have to show your MLS listings to an English teacher, show that you don’t have an AOL, Hotmail or Yahoo account, sign a pledge to never do dual agency, prove you know how to pre-qualify buyers BEFORE you take them out, show your smartphone, retake your driving test and ….well, how about your idea.

  2. Nanette Labastida

    December 31, 2010 at 9:55 am

    cracking up! I just found one that said “skip & hope away to downtown” i guess if you hope hard enough…

  3. Randy Pereira

    December 31, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Thanks for sharing… “entertainment room w/ large wet bra..” that’s a classic one.

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