“The veews will blow youre mind” – MLS screw ups

Well, folks, I spent another week scanning the MLS and local ads while laughing my a__ off. This week’s bloopers include some very suspect offers. In fact, a few are downright threatening.  As so aptly stated by Bette Davis in All About Eve, “Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Offers Guaranteed to Slay You

“Best thing sinced sliced beard” (Offered by Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)

“Killea location – hurry!” (Yeah, right. Shall I bring my own body bag, Dexter?)

“Stunning Sunset Plaza Manson” (Uh, “manson”? Let me guess –  another “killea location”?)

“Clot in drain fixed” (Reported Tony “Two Fingers” Tartaglia after flushing Carlo “The Canary” down the toilet.

“Experienced Shoot Sale Agent” ( Tony Tartaglia’s Toady.)

“Custom splice rack” (Favorite amenity of Tony “Two Fingers” Tartaglia when the commode backs up.)

Now For A Trip Down Hollywood Highway 

“Hollywd Hills– Pool, dec & spurts court” –  (Apparently the court is a wee one…)

“Really hot décor with many appointiments” (Pamela Anderson’s  house, no doubt)

“Great lift, mountain vus” (A home for Pamela’s ‘appointiments.’)

“Malibu – Nice bones, just waiting for a face lict” (Malibu’s premier Dog Dating Service.)

“Nice Laurel Canyon writers corrage” (I doubt it – everyone here in Laurel Canyon is incorragible.)

“Prime Bev Hills Real Eatse” (Dinner at Spago, anyone?) 

The View from Here 

“Step into a bygone error” (It seems you’ve already stepped in it, pal.)

“The veews will blow youre mind” (Mojito days, martini nights…)

“Can’t be dupecated” (No, but I know who can be duped…)

 “New caisson windows” (Well, that oughtta float your boat!) 

There’s a Place For Everyone…           

“Good for shingle family – Needs TLC”  (‘Nuf said.)