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“The veews will blow youre mind” – MLS screw ups

Well, folks, I spent another week scanning the MLS and local ads while laughing my a__ off. This week’s bloopers include some very suspect offers. In fact, a few are downright threatening.  As so aptly stated by Bette Davis in All About Eve, “Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Offers Guaranteed to Slay You

“Best thing sinced sliced beard” (Offered by Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)

“Killea location – hurry!” (Yeah, right. Shall I bring my own body bag, Dexter?)

“Stunning Sunset Plaza Manson” (Uh, “manson”? Let me guess –  another “killea location”?)

“Clot in drain fixed” (Reported Tony “Two Fingers” Tartaglia after flushing Carlo “The Canary” down the toilet.

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“Experienced Shoot Sale Agent” ( Tony Tartaglia’s Toady.)

“Custom splice rack” (Favorite amenity of Tony “Two Fingers” Tartaglia when the commode backs up.)

Now For A Trip Down Hollywood Highway 

Hollywd Hills– Pool, dec & spurts court” –  (Apparently the court is a wee one…)

“Really hot décor with many appointiments” (Pamela Anderson’s  house, no doubt)

“Great lift, mountain vus” (A home for Pamela’s ‘appointiments.’)

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“Malibu – Nice bones, just waiting for a face lict” (Malibu’s premier Dog Dating Service.)

“Nice Laurel Canyon writers corrage” (I doubt it – everyone here in Laurel Canyon is incorragible.)

“Prime Bev Hills Real Eatse” (Dinner at Spago, anyone?) 

The View from Here 

“Step into a bygone error” (It seems you’ve already stepped in it, pal.)

“The veews will blow youre mind” (Mojito days, martini nights…)

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“Can’t be dupecated” (No, but I know who can be duped…)

 “New caisson windows” (Well, that oughtta float your boat!) 

There’s a Place For Everyone…           

“Good for shingle family – Needs TLC”  (‘Nuf said.)

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Written By

I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. Gwen Banta

    October 8, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Thanks for the shout out, friends!

  2. Paula Henry

    October 9, 2010 at 9:08 am

    Morticia – “Oh look darling, a splice rack.”
    Gomez – “Perfect!”

    I wonder what the public thinks when they read these?

  3. Gwen Banta

    October 9, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    LOL, Paula – I wish I’d said that!

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