Sunday, December 21, 2025

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AG Pro gives you sharp insights, compelling stories, and weekly mind fuel without the fluff. Think of it as your brain’s secret weapon – and our way to keep doing what we do best: cutting the BS and giving you INDEPENDENT real talk that moves the needle.

Limited time offer: $29/yr (regularly $149)
✔ Full access to all stories and 20 years of analysis
✔ Long-form exclusives and sharp strategy guides
✔ Weekly curated breakdowns sent to your inbox

We accept all major credit cards.

Pro

/ once per week

Get everything, no strings.

AG-curious? Get the full-access version, just on a week-to-week basis.
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• Stop anytime, no hoops

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Get your fill of no-BS brilliance.

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/ once per year

All in, all year. Zero lockouts.

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• Unlimited access to every story
• Re-read anything, anytime
• Inbox drop + curated roundups

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*Most Popular

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Useful, just not unlimited.

You’ll still get the goods - just not the goodest, freshest goods. You’ll get:
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• 24-hour access to all new content
• No archive. No re-reads

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Real estate humor – God bones – heaven help the MLS


Did you hear that?  Yep – that was the sound of my rosary beads hitting the floor…with me close behind.  The bloopers were bad enough this week that I considered joining a convent to find peace for my tortured former-English-teacher soul. Unfortunately, none would take me. There was some reference to my penchant for bacchanalia, but I’ve got nothing on these people:

What’s Amiss With This?

“Has god bones” (Uh, I think He already knows who has His ribs…)

“Fur rent – lovely cirdular design” (Is this a home or a hamster wheel?)

“Spanish style w/ two tuffets” (For those who enjoy curds and whey…)

“Near Bev Hills Ho” (Don’t get too near unless you’re on penicillin)

“Handymen will lick the workbench” (I’d pay big bucks just to see that!)

Tempting, But I’ll Restrain Myself

“Security dates ensure safety” (In case I’m attacked by a felonious fig?)

“Buyor lease” (If I’m going to lease your buyer, he better be hot!)

“Seller says no expense sparfed” (Seller regurgitation proclamation.)

“Tran leads to lake” (Hmmm… a transsexual tour guide.)

“Master has stream room” (I think that called a toilet…)

“Big compou” (Thank you, Wan Hang Lo)

Overstating The Obvious

“Plumbing is good addit’n” (Especially if the “master has stream.”)

“Has wiring” (I’ll alert the media – this is electrifying!)

“Includs comisin agent ” (Can I get it without the idiot agent who typed this?)

Shut Up and Say good Night

“Has walls thiaviarle” (And obviously one just fell on the agent…)

Happy Friday the 13th. as my Irish uncle would say:  “There is no such thing as bad luck or bad booze…just bad service.”

Gwen Bantahttps://www.LAhomesite.com
I wear several hats: My mink fedora real estate hat belongs to Sotheby’s International Realty on the world famous Sunset Strip. I’M not world famous, but I've garnered a few Top Producer credits along the way. I also wear a coonskin writer's cap with an arrow through it, having written a few novels and screenplays and scored a few awards there, too. (The arrow was from a tasteless critic.) My sequined turban is my thespian hat for my roles on stage, and in film and television, Dahling. You can check me out in all my infamy at LinkedIn, LAhomesite.com, SherlockOfHomes, IMDB or you can shoot arrows at my head via email. I can take it.

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