Killer deals
“Appliances being de livered” (By whom – Hannibal Lecter?)
“Harry – won’t last!” (Methinks Harry is about to be de-livered by Hannibal Lecter.)
“Best price per spare foot” (I’m sure Lector would be happy to remove that sucker for you.)
“This is a kikker deal!” (Obviously this is listed by the guy with the spare foot.)
“Closets by Closet Wizar” (That’s one way to make a bad aim profitable!)
International Flavor
“Highly polish floors” (What are they made of – kielbasa?)
“Separate wong for nanny” (Offered by SumTing-Long-Gone-Wong)
“State-of-art coffee bra” (Let me guess…lots of latte?)
“This must buy has pizzazza” (Thank you, Tony “Two-Fingers” Tartaglia…now put down that chain saw.)
“Viking with worming ovens” (Isn’t medication a little easier on the colon?)
State of Absurd
“Views of the claming canyon” (Um, can clams ride the metro, or did I sleep through a tidal wave?)
“Brused nickel fixtures” (Buck up, Nickel – your boss, the dollar, isn’t faring any better…)
“Newly refurnisured” (Must be a sofa with a deductible…)
“Bedroom w/ gorgeous muriel over bed” (Hey, buddy – the guys in my office want her phone number.)
And This Week’s Fruit Loop Special From a Real Estate Want Ad (Thanks, Kim):
Requirements: “…A combination of education and experience from which comparable kills may be acquired” (Apply now to Jugular Real Estate, Inc.)
Happy Holidays, Friends!
