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I Know Where You Live

court imageHealth care reform has passed.   It seems that the Tea Partiers are none to pleased and rather than do the patriotic, American thing like exercising their Constitutional rights by pursuing remedies in the courts they would rather use threats and intimidation.  It’s like a bad episode from The Sopranos.  It got me to wondering if real estate was run by the Tea Party.

Real Estate the Tea Party Way

Listing Agent: Hi, this is Ken.  How can I serve you today?

Buyer Agent: Hey, Ken.  This is Bob at the My Way Real Estate Co.  I’m about to send an offer over for your listing on 345 Wonderful Blvd.

Listing Agent: That’s great, Bob. I’ll get with the Seller ASAP and review the terms and get back with you.

Buyer Agent: Ken, I think they’ll find it’s an offer they can’t refuse.  In fact, we’ve already scheduled the inspection, appraisal and the place and time of settlement.  It’s all in the package I’m sending over.

Listing Agent: Uh.  You might be getting ahead of yourself a bit.  The Sellers haven’t even reviewed the offer.

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Buyer Agent: Ken, you’re not too bright are you?  I said this will be an offer the Sellers can’t refuse.  That means they can’t refuse it.

Listing Agent: Uh…

Buyer Agent: Do I have to spell it out for you, Ken?  We know that little Suzi Seller goes to Desirable Middle School.  We saw the nice certificates in her bedroom.  We know Steve Seller, the All-State football star,  goes to  Magnet High School.  By the way, the Buyers really liked the gas range.  It would be a shame is anything happened where the Sellers might have to start eating Happy Meals at Mickey D’s because of a break in the gas line.

Listing Agent:(silence)

Buyer Agent: Ken, you seem like a nice enough guy. Your heart’s in the right place. I suspect that you and I could have some long, fun civil conversations about real estate, the nation, and the like in person. But, seriously, do yourself a favor and don’t embarrass yourself by sending any counter offers or the like.

Buyer Agent: One more thing, Ken.  I know where you live.

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Written By

“Loves sunrise walks on the beach, quaint B & Bs, former Barbie® boyfriend..." Ken is a sole practitioner and Realtor Extraordinaire in the beautiful MD Suburbs of DC. When he's not spouting off on Agent Genius he holds court from his home office in Glenn Dale, MD or the office for RE/MAX Advantage Realty in Fulton, MD...and always on the MD Suburbs of DC Blog



  1. Joe Spake

    March 28, 2010 at 10:59 am

    Interesting post, Ken. I have asked the question a few times over the past couple of years: Are sedition laws still in effect?
    The Limbaughs, Becks, and Foxes are willing to sell out our Democratic system to raise their ratings and put more bucks in their own pockets.
    An if you speak out, better close that FourSquare account.

  2. Benn Rosales

    March 28, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Ken, no one with any credibility supports the threats against Congress, and it’s awful to hear things like that. Looking at the psychology of it all, I’m not so sure this is about healthcare anymore as much as it is a general feeling about polarization and helplessness.

    People are genuinely pissed off in general over the economy, people are hurting.

    My view of the whole thing? Glad to have healthcare in 5 years. Why people are so miffed about something that has a timeline of 2, 3, 5 years makes no sense to me – vote the idiots you don’t like out and change the law back- you know, like the tax credits the dems allowed to just ‘expire.’

    Lincoln and Obama may have a lot more in common than we first ever imagined – the (un)civil war.

  3. Nelbee

    March 28, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    I Know Where You Live @AgentGenius

  4. RealEstate Babble

    March 28, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    AgentGenius: I Know Where You Live Full

  5. Lani Rosales

    March 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Health care aside, I LOVE your Sopranos style story above, that’s hilarious. And likely.

  6. Long Beach Homes

    March 28, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    I Know Where You Live

  7. Judy Music,REALTOR

    March 28, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    If the tea party ran real estate

    agentgenius I Know Where You Live

  8. Scott

    March 29, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    So now you’re going to say all people who attend tea parties are making threats?

    I thought it was prejudicial to categorize a whole group of people.

    I’m sure that whatever group you may associate yourself with would be void of any kooks right?

  9. Bob

    March 30, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Pot > Kettle > Black

  10. Mike Schmidt

    March 30, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Ooookay. This scenario sounds more like “real estate the Progressives way.”

    …Don’t read the contract (health care bill), don’t bother sending over a counteroffer or anything (conservative ideas about reform), we know all about your clients (don’t make any waves, you majority of Americans against this)…

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