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Op/Ed

Someone’s personal belief is not an attack on you (editorial)

(OPINION) In today’s politically charged environment, people on all sides feel attacked. Perhaps if we thought deeper about this, we could all take a step back.

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personal belief quitting

Assertion is not an attack

I believe, I feel, I think… There’s an undeniable power in “I” statements. Their use is so unwittingly powerful, in fact, that it’s often deemed pervasive. In an increasingly I-centric world, it isn’t possible to escape the onslaught of opinions and feelings.

But why do we have to receive assertions of others experiences as an attack on our own reality? There’s been a new adoption of the if you’re not with us, you’re against us mentality – and it might have a little something to do with how the world asks us to present ourselves. And we too often willingly oblige.

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How many times have you been asked to define yourself in three words? What are your three favorite shows, books, bands, movies? What political party do you affiliate with? We are increasingly asked to define ourselves in terms of self identification, which has become less about our passion and more about self-branding. Can you define who you are in a Twitter-sized snippet? No? Then you haven’t streamlined your personal brand enough.

We are increasingly asked to define ourselves in terms of self identification, which has become less about our passion and more about self-branding.

All or nothing

In such simplistic terms, it’s easy to cast judgement or feel attacked. If you’re not a social justice warrior (SJW, as the kids on the internet say,) you’re not progressive. If you voted for Trump, you’re personally guilty for the resurgence of all the terrible-isms.

I’m a feminist poet who works in tech, loves reality shows, hiking and yoga. Do you feel that you know me? Is the way I chose to self identify an affront to the way you chose to?

Every one of us is a complicated tangle of genetics, circumstances, preference and experience.

The most defining characteristics of a person are developed outside the margins of a text box. A handful of easily defined and hashtag-able words won’t actually tell you much about who someone is.

A handful of easily defined and hashtag-able words won’t actually tell you much about who someone is.Click To Tweet

When I give my opinions on politics, art, TV shows, anything really – it’s never with the intention to silence someone else’s reality. If someone else feels differently than I do – that’s an opportunity for a conversation, assuming all parties are open to it (and they should be!). Opinions are not dogmatic by definition.

Difference is still beautiful

Fear of difference is an extremely stubborn quality of humanity, and accounts for a lot of conflict. It takes work to understand and digest the unfamiliar. But simply put, difference also enriches humanity, and adds depth and color to living.

Instead of going on the offense when we encounter an opinion that is different from our own, we should pause to remember an opinion is just that. “I” statements are just that. We are not always going to agree, or share opinions, or even agree on the ends or the means. Someone communicating about their diet, political affiliation, or religion should in no way force you to take on their personal choices.

Understanding this allows for multiple truths, and moves towards a more peaceful shared reality.

What “you do you” really means

Often misused to shirk responsibility and care for others, the “you do you” mentality and phrase has a bad reputation. I’m guilty of rolling my eyes when I hear someone use the phrase too often. “You do you” has been so abused, it often translates to “I don’t care about your feelings, when my own are king.”

How can you do you, when I’m trying to do me? Well, the idiom suggests more flexibility than it actually touts. If you make a point to care about others, differences and all, then the fallacy of the phrase evaporates.

Being and loving yourself should never infringe upon or be in conflict with someone else doing the same thing.

The next time a friend or colleague decides to chat about the rally the went to, the religious service they attended, or their new dietary choices – maybe it’s better to ask ourselves first if they are attempting to connect with us about who they are.

I would rather participate in such a conversation than assume my friend was attempting to mold my thoughts to conform to their own. Don’t let the fear of having your personal choices infringed upon interfere with your ability to communicate with those who are different. Allow others to be true to themselves, and claim the space that allows you to be true to you.

Allow others to be true to themselves, and claim the space that allows you to be true to you.Click To Tweet

#YouDoYou

Caroline is a Staff Writer at The American Genius. She recently received her Masters of Fine Art in Creative Writing from St. Mary’s College of California. She currently works as a writer as well as a Knowledge Manager for a startup in San Francisco.

Op/Ed

10 productivity tips to get the most out of yourself and your team

(EDITORIAL) Keeping up productivity can be a hard goal to shoot for, so sometimes It helps to see what others are doing. Here’s our list of 10 ways to stay productive

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productivity in a team

Funny thing about inverse relationships, they are so counterintuitive. Like working hard. That is an example of doing what you think will be beneficial, but usually just makes the job what you expected, hard. When it comes to productivity, harder isn’t smarter, as the saying goes.

And, if you are sick of the word “hack” we hear you. But, finding ease in work will allow you to be more productive and with better results.

We offer you this list of stories to meet your productivity needs. Here’s to finding work-life balance, seeking ease in the moment and rocking out a productive day!

1. If you’re trying to be more productive, don’t focus so much on time management. Instead, consider energy management to get more out of less effort.

2. Meetings suck. Wait, I mean they are a time suck. Yeah, that’s it. Everyone knows some meetings are unnecessary and could easily be handled through an email. Yet, many supervisors are hesitant. But, there’s an app for that now. Here’s to meeting less and actually getting work done.

3. Kondo your desk, for God’s sake. If you say you are more productive with a messy desk, yet you have a sandwich from last week and those TPS reports you were supposed to turn in weeks ago somewhere under a pile of crap, you need to clean up your act. Nobody wants to get a report covered in coffee, chocolate, and mustard.

4. Are you agile? I mean, really. Is your team as productive as it could be? Whether you are a PM or a real estate agent, if you need a tool that helps your team stay agile and nimble, this will help you and your crew kick ass and take names.

5. Cut the team some slack. Too many messages and you forget what you were originally doing. Slack thought about that and has a way to make the app work for your team so you can be more effective and keep the workflow moving.

6. Working remotely has some serious benefits, notwithstanding working in your PJ’s. While it is the norm now, convincing your boss you will actually work in the future and not binge on Netflix may be the challenge. And, for many folks, working from home is a much more productive option long term, even after COVID restrictions lift. Yet, anyone who has worked remotely also knows it can be easy to get caught up in work and miss human interactions, leading to burnout. Here’s how to make the remote transition work for you.

7. Sometimes more is less. That is the truth when it comes to work where quality beats quantity all day long. Our 9-5 workdays may be good for some, but not for all. And, putting in 80-hour weeks may seem righteous dude, but what do you really accomplish? Kick productivity in the butt and consider are you using your hours wisely.

8. Want to be a baller in the workplace? Then get focused. According to the experts, those at the top of their game aren’t necessarily working harder or smarter, they are just hyper-focused. Here are some good habits to have if you want to get ahead.

9. If it seems everyone has a podcast, you are correct! Some of those podcasts are useful, especially if you are trying to get ahead and find ways to use your productivity to the fullest. Here’s a list of podcasts that will fill your free time with useful information.

10. Creative folks love to start new projects. They can be like kids in the candy store any time they have a new idea they must explore. The problem is that whether you are an artist, writer, graphic/web/software designer or developer, you may start a lot of projects and finish few. Here’s how to finish what you start!

By now, you know what information to keep and you are ready to get your rear in gear. We wish you all the success with your future projects. We know you will be diligent and hyper-productive!

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Op/Ed

Living through a pandemic has us ALL on high alert, causing exhaustion

(MENTAL HEALTH) When your system is constantly in a state of unknown, you’re in a state of high emotion. After an extended period, exhaustion and burnout set in.

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exhaustion high emotion

It isn’t a stretch to say that universally, people are feeling burned out these days. Whether it’s because of ongoing COVID-19 ramifications (the top cause today) or good old-fashioned job stress, the majority of burnout cases have one thing in common – high-intensity emotions.

According to Yale lecturer, Emma Seppälä, any kind of high-intensity emotion – be it fear, joy, rage, or anything in between these feelings – can lead to sheer exhaustion after a certain point.

And while these emotions are completely justified in today’s tumultuous world, it’s also apparent that the range of extreme emotions one can feel in an ordinary day is widening, making burnout all the more inevitable.

What Seppälä says many people don’t know is that those positive, high-intensity emotions, while contributing to burnout in their own way, lead to a feeling of “crashing” after elation rather than the soul-sucking despair one often tends to feel after experiencing a wave of negative emotions.

The exhaustion one experiences may feel different depending on the emotions inspiring it, but the outcome is often the same – a complete and total depletion that “taxes the body.”

Seppälä also points out that some people experience emotions in a more acute fashion than others, with “15-20% of people” being classified as “highly sensitive.” People who fit into this category may be more susceptible to exhaustion from high-intensity emotions.

The past few years have been extremely emotionally polarizing, with things like social media, social justice movements, elections, and, yes, pandemics jeopardizing the otherwise-calm natures of many across the world.

Burnout isn’t surprising in a world in which one can see every public thought each member of their family has had in the last decade, nor is high-intensity emotions becoming more present a shock.

Seppälä posits that the solution to living in such a world is emotional balance, which entails making intentional time for calm, low-key activities to counteract some of the more stressful ones you may encounter from day to day. Staying off of social media, setting boundaries with friends and family, and participating in the news cycle during the day rather than before bed are all good examples of ways to minimize your stress throughout the week.

It’s a stressful world we live in, and if this last year and a half has taught us anything, it’s only going to get more stressful. Emotional balance, where possible, is perhaps the best solution to an otherwise ubiquitous problem.

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Op/Ed

Arguing that next deal can be hard, here’s where to focus

(EDITORIAL) If you have to start arguing then you need the right understanding of what is convincing and what can be dismissed out of hand.

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arguing people

Take a look at your Facebook and Twitter feed or the comments on any news post. If there’s one thing it would seem nobody has any trouble with these days, it’s arguing.

There’s arguing for fun and frustration … OG/prequels! Cake/Pie! Over the roll/under the roll! Yelling, trolling, poking with a stick.

And then there’s ARGUING… reasoned, productive, and substantive discussions that get you somewhere in the real world.

No, wait, hear me out!

More than 10 years ago, tech entrepreneur Paul Graham laid out a “hierarchy of disagreement,” attempting to sort out the various levels of argument into a tool that could turn those arguments into something useful. Lately – just in time for 2020’s inevitable fracas, right? – the infographic makers at Adioma have laid that hierarchy out in a simple visualization that aims to make disagreement simpler to navigate and agreement easier to reach.

Essentially, the easiest arguments to toss out there are the ones you post without a pause. The inflammatory “YOU SUCK” (level 1) and “whaddaya expect from an over-the-roll bro?” (level 2). The reactionary “oh YEAH?” and “well WHAT ABOUT” (level 4). They add nothing to the discussion, change nobody’s mind, and pretty much keep the hostilities simmering.

Back in 2008 when he wrote the essay, Graham pointed out “a danger that the increase in disagreement will make people angrier. Particularly online, where it’s easy to say things you’d never say face to face.” Welcome to the Thunderdome. The most innocuous comment can be taken completely the wrong way (level 3), and this toxic shift in tone spills more and more often into offline interactions as well.

But here’s where the real-life benefits to this hierarchy come into play. Leaving Facebook and Twitter and the news comment sections aside – because let’s face it, all pretty much black holes where reasonable people can be sucked into nothingness – there is value to constructive argument.

Constructive argument – levels 5, 6, and 7 – deals with an issue at hand, not personality. It keeps civility on the table. It allows for back-and-forth, for discussion. Put it to work in the office, and it smooths the way in staff interactions and negotiations. Put it to work in the marketplace, and it creates stronger client and customer bonds. And yes, put it to work online in a company feed, and it strengthens customer service and can even help you build relationships based on respect for your open communication.

Coming at a disagreement with an eye towards understanding the other point of view and reaching agreement, rather than an eye towards scoring easy points, isn’t painless. The years since Graham pointed out the peril of online anger have not been kind to public discourse, and the person you’re arguing with may not be there right away for your empathy and bridge-building. But as one of the great (country and) Western philosophers once asked, what would you be if you didn’t even try? You’d be stuck down on level 1 of Paul Graham’s pyramid with the trolls and the cranks, that’s what. Level up.

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