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Real estate agents are in danger: How to avoid being a target for predators

Realtor safety is an elusive topic, as most practitioners think they’re being safe. Pile on top of that victim blaming when someone is attacked, and we have a pervasive industry problem. Let’s unravel this sticky issue.



real estate agent and realtor safety

In a recent ABC 20/20 program, Barbara Corcoran stated “Being in the real estate business is one of the most high risk businesses in the Nation,” and agreed that “Real Estate Agents are like sitting ducks.”

There are weekly reports of incidents involving real estate agents across the country, as agents are lured to properties by predator’s intent on assault, robbery or worse. It might be helpful to know the makeup of a predator, how they operate and how not be selected as a target in the first place.

What makes a predator different from you?

Predatory criminals have a need to be in control. You probably already know someone whom you might refer to as a control freak; it’s highly likely these individuals grew up in a chaotic, violent, or addictive home. These individuals often had parents who did not act consistently and reliably, where love was uncertain, or had conditions placed on its offering.

Thus, the act of controlling others became the only certain way to predict the behavior of others. Their way of gaining some form of twisted sanity. These individuals would have started out as troubled bullies in the playground, because this is where the formative lessons are learned; how to read body language, how to instinctively form an opinion about how easy you will be to dominate and control.

Once they understand how to prey upon human nature, some (but not all) will become what we’d call a “predator.”

Predators operate by selecting weak victims

Rapists, muggers, abusers, and bullies all look for someone they can dominate and control. They look for weak, submissive, and unaware targets that won’t or can’t fight back.

You have a say in whether or not you will be an easy target for predators.

At the least, you should follow NAR’s advice and meet at the office, take copies of the prospects ID and tell the staff where you will be.

Better though to follow CAR’s (California Association of Realtors) more detailed recommendations: “Before meeting a client, conduct a background check; ask for name, phone number, email address, home address, and date of birth, and ask them to text or email you a picture of their driver’s license or government issued photographic ID.”

But even if you have verified the photo ID of a strange prospect in advance of meeting, it’s inevitable that some real estate agents will still find themselves in situations that still might prove deadly.

  1. Following these simple steps will keep you safer when showing homes to strange prospects.
  2. From the very first contact, you will direct the conversation and the decisions about where, when, and how to meet.
  3. You will not allow the prospect to take control – this is the biggest red flag.
  4. Do not meet at the property. Meet first at your office or a neutral , public location such as a Starbucks.
  5. Dress safely. You can’t escape quickly if you’re wearing 5-inch heels.
  6. Just because a male prospect is accompanied by a woman does not mean that you are safer. (Beverley Carter’s assailant was accompanied by his ex-wife) She may be present to help alleviate any fears you could have.
  7. Do not travel in the prospect’s vehicle, under any circumstances.
  8. Do not park your car on the driveway. Choose a location on the street where you cannot be blocked in.
  9. Lock your purse in the trunk of your car.
  10. Walk purposely with confidence and without distractions.
  11. Do not multi-task. Focus on the prospect and the showing.
  12. Hold only your cell phone in one hand and your keys (can be used in self-defense) in the other.
  13. Have the prospect precede you while inspecting the house.
  14. Have the prospect look at rooms while you stand in the doorway.
  15. Stand back away from closets and tight spaces, so as not to get cornered.
  16. Don’t turn your back on the prospect at any time.
  17. Never go down in the basement with a prospect.
  18. If you feel really uneasy, have the prospect inspect the home on their own, while you stand outside.
  19. If at any time your intuition tells you that you are unsafe, terminate the appointment and leave.

Recent safety findings illustrate problems

In the NAR 2015 Member Safety Report, 40% of the respondents experienced a situation that made them fear for their personal safety.

Of 2,804 respondents 2% reported they were the victim of robbery and 1% an assault. Extrapolated out to 1,000,000 members this would indicate that 20,000 members might have been robbed, while as many as 10,000 have been assaulted.

What the industry should do for agent safety

Despite these alarming numbers of assaults and robberies, the NAR reported that less than 50% of Brokers have standard procedures for agent safety.

Brokers already have a legal and fiduciary responsibility to supervise their agents in the course of their business. They must implement safety procedures and standards as soon as possible – they are simply not optional in today’s environment.

In this regard, I applaud Dylan De Bruin’s efforts in Iowa where the Des Moines Association of Realtors have implemented a ground breaking safety initiative which recently made national news. This along with Sam DeBord’s Open Door partnerships are definitely steps in the right direction.

Checking and verifying prospects photo IDs should be an industry standard. When you check into a hotel, rent a car or look at an apartment you will be required to submit your photo ID. Why should looking at homes with a real estate agent be any different? It should be our industry standard, just as it is in the travel industry, so let’s make it so.

What you as an agent can do, starting now

  1. Commit now to never meeting a strange unverified prospect at a property, ever again.
  2. Start making it your personal standard that every prospect submits their photo ID before meeting.
  3. Stay in control of when, where and how you meet strange prospects. Predators and psychopaths only have power if they control their target.

No commission will ever be worth compromising your safety. Take appropriate measures considering the circumstances, your surroundings and who you are with. Follow the list of safety measures above.

Help fulfill current NAR President Chris Polycron’s commitment to Realtor safety. Lobby your Broker, Association and MLS to create/review/publish safety manuals, procedures and systems.


Peter Toner is a third generation real estate agent who has been practicing for nearly two decades. He is the Founder of Verify Photo ID - a safety app that verifies the identity of strange prospects before you meet - in three simple steps; it includes a Safety Monitor with panic alerts.


4 red-flags to see if you (or your boss) may be an ineffective leader

(EDITORIAL) Leadership is hard as is, there’s no need to make it harder on yourself. Avoid these bad-leader habits and you’ll be golden.



good leader interrupting people coworkers humans

Being a leader can be tough

Whether you are heading a soccer team, a choir, or a team of young realtors, being a leader is tough. Even the best leaders have character flaws. Under pressure, these peccadilloes are often exacerbated. If you find yourself in a position of influence, your flaws may magnify into strategic disasters.

To prevent such scenarios, it is critical that we dissect our own behavior, not only for the sake of our professional careers, but also for our own conscience and sense of self-worth.

Tips for success

Use the following 4 red-flag-raising behaviors as a blueprint, making sure you refrain from (or rectify) these mistakes as you evolve into a better leader.

1. Wavering on tough calls

Bad leadership 101 is an indecisive leader. A pitiful half-panicked state of ‘I cannot make up my mind’ hesitation. Nothing frustrates a team more.

More poignantly, nothing destroys an employee’s respect in a leader quicker.

Decisions, especially the big ones, need a steadying, confident hand. Buying yourself time, by demanding more research from the team, or hiding behind the excuse of another round of “brainstorming” shall only delay the inevitable. Rise to the occasion; do not be dragged to it by your circumstances. Dignify a problem with a decision!

2. Inefficient communication

This problem is more nuanced than simply bad communication. It may mean three things: under-communication, obfuscation, or over-communication. Try to avoid each like the black plague.
Nothing makes a project stall quicker than an unclear path forward. Make time to explain things to the team, clearly and precisely. Lay down a path. After all, that is your job! No one can be a “leader whisperer” or thought interpreter.

A team should not have to second-guess the direction of an assignment.

Obfuscation stems from the leader’s own lack of direction. Do not call a meeting where there is nothing definitive to announce. What is the operational plan? How should it be implemented? Do not assume that a plan shall present itself during a meeting.

Then there’s the sin of over-explaining.

This is a behavior where the leader drones on and on, wasting vital time, in order to elicit tacit or verbal endorsement of his/her idea. This is the control-freak micro-manager. Efficient communication does not mean more time in the conference room. Efficient communication is more productive in less time.

3. Abusing power privileges

Leaders enjoy considerable leeway to enforce their decisions. However, it is easy to forget that this “power” exists not for the leader to bask in its glory, but to deploy as necessary for the team to operate more efficiently. The possibilities in which a leader can abuse power are countless, and varies wildly, but here are some of the usual suspects:

Humiliating an employee publicly: constructive criticism is an art, delivered with compassion. It requires restraint and strength. Weak leaders have “outbursts”, aspire to be feared by others, and work hard on creating an air of intimidation and un-approachability.

Breaking your own word: Leaders may also make casual promises to a client during a meeting, without owning up to the promise. The leader may then avoid to the agreed upon request entirely, or worse, hand it off to subordinates to deal with. Empty promises make for empty leaders.

Rewarding loyalty: Leaders often play favoritism by distributing assignments and workloads unevenly.

Feigning neutrality: This may seem contradictory to the previous point, but it is not. A leader should take clear sides on arguments (not people) put forward. Not committing to opposing views leaves everyone directionless and confused. There are good ideas, less good ideas, great ideas, and terrible ideas. Which one do you like? Whose is it? Point it out. Give direction and move forward.

Insubordination: Weak leaders often bad-mouth their bosses, behind their back, in order to win cookie points with the team. It shows a lack of dependability, trust, and character.

4. Evading feedback at all costs

If your team cannot express grievances, complaints, and concerns freely, your leadership is off the mark. The most likely cause: YOUR unwillingness to take responsibility for failure. Shifting blame to others for what has gone wrong, attributing harsh decisions (like letting someone go) to “the company” and not yourself, bemoaning lack of resources as an unfortunate scenario where your hands are tied— these are all ways to clamp down on criticism. Seeking revenge on, or appeasing your critics is worse.

If you do not like employees to ask you questions, you should reevaluate your own position immediately. Feedback is essential to growth. To dismiss them as “whining” is going to kill your effectiveness as a true leader. In times of true crisis, you will find it impossible to rally the troops to your cause.

Leader to the core

Keeping these common leadership flaws in mind shall help you become “self-aware,” your best guard against becoming a horrible boss. In the process, it will take you much further—it will inspire you to inspire others, the very essence of great leadership.

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8 lessons on how to keep work-life balance in your real estate career

(EDITORIAL) Your real estate practice can be overly consuming if you let it. With discipline, you can have a good work/life balance.



Real estate agent shaking hands with clients over a For Sale sign marked sold.

8In your real estate practice, you have a plate, and you can only put so much onto that plate before things begin to fall off into the cracks. These cracks are what I call “fires” – you know, those things that become emergencies because simply put, you let them.

What I am about to share with you at first glance may come off as cold, however, I believe that with a little thought, some practice, and your own tweaks, you can realize the income you want and afford time with your family – all while elevating the respect you deserve from your real estate clients.

Balancing work and life in real estate is no easy feat.

At no point in my real estate career have I ever allowed myself to appear too eager or desperate for a client, and my clients always felt special and cared for, even though I observed a strict daily schedule. The following is how this can be accomplished:

Lesson one: You know your threshold of how many clients you can handle at once. Your pipeline should be full, and the next client in line for your services should know you’re worth waiting for, and be assured that the same care and attention will be shown to them as soon as they are “next” (never answer a client call while with another client, or this will not work for you). A client became “next” when an offer was accepted on one of my existing transactions. My threshold was originally four clients. If my pipeline was expanding quickly, I brought on agent assistants. As they waited their turn, my assistant held their hand and kept them busy with pre-qualification, buyers agreements, and the like.

Lesson two: When I took on the next client, clear rules of the road were established. I do not leave the house (home office) until 10. I have better things to do with my time than to sit in rush hour needlessly. Some like this time for phone time, however, your undivided attention is not always given, and the possibility of missing vital details while driving and negotiating grows exponentially (as do safety risks). My phone calls were made from 8am to 10am before I left my office.

Lesson three: All of my appointments were set on the half-hour – I’m not sure why, but it worked and I was always on time, as were my clients. The same went for phone calls. Schedule them on the half-hour. You will find, for example, that if you grab lunch at noon, you’re ready for business again at 12:30.

Lesson four: Be home either before or after rush hour. I preferred before. The implied impression of my work hours with my clients worked in my favor nearly 100% of the time. Why? Because I skipped the salesman b.s. of showing them more expensive homes first – I actually took them to the home described in the range they wanted. I set the proper expectations in the first place. I listened to my clients, and they appreciated it. The day they may have waited for my undivided attention gave them immediate results, and they loved it.

Lesson five: If you cannot show your buyers their next home within five showings, either you’re deaf to their needs and wants, or they don’t intend to buy – if you’re experienced, you know it when you see it, and they’re wasting time for the next customer in your pipeline. Place them on a drip campaign with a buyer’s agreement in place, or refer them.

Lesson six: Decide when your workday ends. Mine was at 5:30. However, from 8:30pm to 10pm I would work on offers, faxes, enter listings, answer texts, and emails.

Lesson seven: Not every client was right for me. For example, I have a zone of travel. The markets I work in. Working outside of that zone takes up time from my clients in travel, and time from my family. Refer them, or if you’ve tapped into a further away zone, build your team. Teams can grow and shrink as needed.

Lesson eight: You are a business. Real estate is a business. You have business hours, and you have you time. My you time was with my family, but I love marketing, so I added a 6th half-day for my marketing, blogging, and the like.

As my business grew, my referral network grew. I utilized an assistant until an indie brokerage was established. We had a clear code of how we conducted business, encouraged our buyer’s agents to adapt their business model as I’ve described, and never allowed an unseasoned agent to handle more transactions than their limit. Inevitably my threshold grew to six, but it took time.

With the technologies we have today with instantaneous communication, it’s very easy to allow things to creep onto your plate. So my final lesson is to utilize an assistant frequently.

It is possible to work and live but it takes discipline and a set of business rules for yourself that you’re accountable to besides just the Code of Ethics. It’s about being honest with yourself, and never being so desperate that something can’t wait a minute.

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Tips to become one of those people who is good with their money

(EDITORIAL) In real estate, it’s difficult to anticipate which years will be the busy ones and which will be eerily empty. So how do you manage money?



money for transactions

I’m a firm believer in making mistakes. Specifically, the all-out, crash-and-burn kind. You know those people who say “own it” – yeah, that’s definitely me. That’s the sort of high-risk, high-reward mentality that leads to really thrilling moments onstage and in life. And when the reward is that intense, so is the loss. It’s the same with money.

My formal background is as a professional opera singer. The level of training for a full-time career in the field includes Olympic-level physical, emotional, and intellectual training. Opera singers don’t use microphones, which means they must use their bodies in a perfect, practiced physiological balance to become a human megaphone.

They learn several languages, with enough facility to jump into rehearsals with colleagues who are relative strangers, singing about passionate love, and infuriating politics while maintaining that physical balance in a foreign tongue.

Unlike the Olympics, regular opera singers don’t get endorsement deals. (Okay, famous tenor Plácido Domingo is sponsored by Rolex, but that’s a particularly singular example.) So despite its extreme training, opera is a medium that requires its artists to manage themselves as freelancers. Freelancers and be-your-own-boss types, I know you feel me:

It’s difficult to anticipate which years will be the busy ones and which will be eerily empty.

Preparing for financial uncertainty

So how do you manage finances with so much up and down?

Invest time instead of money. I rethink how I’m approaching my everyday needs. I’m talking about what methods of transportation I use and how often; I’m talking about regular doctor’s visits or self-care; I’m talking about any payments that you owe regularly. Is there any way to reassess seemingly non-negotiable expenses? Can you refinance a mortgage? Can you drop the gym altogether and commit to really learning and developing an exercise routine? Find something convenient you can replace with a free education; the Internet is an insanely abundant resource and should be milked for information.

Develop multiple interests and invest in them. I am a professional singer, but I also love to cook and am serious about it. I write frequently and across a wide spectrum of interests. I read avidly. When you invest in other ideas and interests, you make yourself a more powerful candidate for the workforce, and you give yourself more ability to seize opportunities. Who knows – you might find yourself pivoting careers.

Design a financial contingency plan before you need it (but go broke at least once). Do you have a place to crash if you can’t afford your own place? How much money do you really need to get through the month? How far can you stretch $50? If you can’t define your limits, you’ll never be able to develop a plan with thoughtful security.

What’s life without risk?

The freelancers who truly succeed are the ones who failed. It’s that Oscar Wilde quote, right? “Experience is merely the name men give to their mistakes.” And so have I before, and so will I again. The only way forward is up. I’m going to take my experience along with me for the next chapter. I hope mine will help color yours a little, even if with a passing thought. Dare to lose it all — and see where it leads.

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