{"id":12483,"date":"2018-05-03T12:33:03","date_gmt":"2018-05-03T17:33:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/therealdaily.com\/?p=12483"},"modified":"2018-05-03T12:36:40","modified_gmt":"2018-05-03T17:36:40","slug":"complete-guide-not-giving-fk-bullst","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/editorials\/complete-guide-not-giving-fk-bullst\/","title":{"rendered":"Why “The Complete Guide to Not Giving a F**k” is Bulls**t"},"content":{"rendered":"

Warning: cuss words ahead…<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of my favorite pieces ever penned on the web is called\u00a0The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck<\/em>\u00a0by Julien Smith, first published on his\u00a0personal blog<\/a>\u00a0and recently republished\u00a0on Medium<\/a>. The piece is well written and argues a point that is so rarely argued effectively \u2013 constant worrying about what others think is a prison and you should regain your self-respect by putting less emphasis on every single person in the world\u2019s opinion.<\/p>\n

The theory is well founded and is totally true, but the Guide has been shared for years on the web as an excuse to be an asshole, so I\u2019m calling bullshit on the entire Guide. Not on Smith\u2019s words (they\u2019re right and I have emailed them to over 50 people over the years), but on how non-readers are taking it. People skim the story, share it, tag me because I like cuss words and have thick skin, and move on, thinking that Smith meant to tell everyone that they should never care what others think.<\/p>\n

First of all, if you\u2019re here, you\u2019re most likely a business professional, right? If so, you typically can\u2019t just puff your chest in this world and act like a dick. Sure, there are people that have made lucrative careers out of being hated, but they work very hard to appeal to other haters and attract like minds, which isn\u2019t exactly not giving a fuck about what others think \u2013 that\u2019s the dirty secret of today\u2019s villains, particularly online.<\/p>\n

Smith\u2019s point was that developing a thick skin is freeing. And he\u2019s right. But, it\u2019s a process that takes time, and must be carefully choreographed. Constantly lobbing grenades because you\u2019re now a badass who doesn\u2019t care what others think is self-destructive and misses the point.<\/p>\n

There is a substantial difference between \u201cnot giving a fuck\u201d and letting irrelevant commentary and judgment roll off of your back. Guess what? Not all commentary is irrelevant. Your boss tells you that you suck at something? Better not give her the middle finger or you\u2019re unemployed. A client calls and you\u2019re hostile with them because you don\u2019t have to take their shit? Bye bye, customer.<\/p>\n

A now unemployed former Sprint kiosk sales guy comments on your blog that you\u2019re wrong and stupid? Sure, let that roll off of your back. But not the rest. Don\u2019t \u201cnot give a fuck\u201d for the sake of not giving a fuck. Don\u2019t be a moron.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the part where I disagree…<\/strong><\/p>\n

So far, I\u2019ve agreed with Smith, but over the years, and particularly since his editorial was republished, I\u2019ve put a lot of personal thought into why the piece rubs me the wrong way, and I\u2019ve finally figured it out.<\/p>\n

I have thick skin. For the most part, people like me. I don\u2019t know why, but people like me \u2013 I\u2019m told often that I\u2019m likeable. That\u2019s cool.<\/p>\n

I am also well respected in my industry and by my peers. Also cool.<\/p>\n

Therefore,\u00a0my<\/em>\u00a0not giving a fuck is a luxury. I\u2019ve already built a personal brand and helped build extremely large communities online and off, so I get to have thick skin because I somehow magically earned it. If some kid signs up for a Twitter account and starts throwing grenades, they\u2019re blown off as a punk turd. If I take to my own airwaves to attack an idea, people listen because I\u2019ve earned an audience. Do you see the difference?<\/p>\n

“I get asked a lot how I developed such a thick skin, and the truth is that it took many years and a natural maturation process to realize that not everyone will adore me, and that I can be wrong. A lot.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I was able to develop a thick skin because I had collected a huge army of supporters over time should I need it, and so I am not often attacked (but when I am, guess what happens??). Let\u2019s be honest, I also have the advantage of being a younger woman, so I get to be a little more brash than my counterparts, and people like that \u2013 but that isn\u2019t me not giving a fuck, that\u2019s me being silly for the most part.<\/p>\n

I disagree with Smith on his guide, because some people don\u2019t have the luxury of not giving a fuck. It is freeing and something everyone should try, but it does not apply to all situations at all times, and the bizarre truth is that it has to be earned in most situations.<\/p>\n

This editorial originally appeared on The American Genius<\/a>.<\/em><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(EDITORIAL) Having thick skin is great, but a famous blog, “The Complete Guide to Not Giving a F***” misses the point that for most, it’s a carefully choreographed marketing tactic, and a luxury.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":335811,"featured_media":12484,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[254],"tags":[194,1234],"class_list":["post-12483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editorials","tag-marketing","tag-real-estate-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/10\/middle-finger.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/335811"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12483"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12486,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12483\/revisions\/12486"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12484"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theamericangenius.com\/housing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}