Yes, sometimes even a wise mouth like me can be rendered speechless.
Thanks to Patrick Martin of Sotheby’s International Realty and Jane Peters of Power Brokers International for their hilarious contributions this week.
You’d Think Someone Would Have Noticed
“House with invisible walls” (Agent with invisible commission check.)
“Built with car class” (A shop teacher with ambition?)
“Your clients will tank you” (No more than you just tanked yourself…)
“Steam and fry sauna” (What’s fried is your career, friend.)
“Mothers can be showing after noon only” (Agents should be drinking after five only.)
Don’t Tempt Me!
“No smaking on premises’ (Too bad, because you could use one upside your head!)
“Worm lunch served” (Offered by Early Bird Realty.)
“Grounds covered with dagwoods” (Is this a lawn or a deli?)
“Large stem room” (Let me guess – a room for folks with fat legs?)
Most Original Remark of the Week:
“Jack and Jack bath” (This must be in West Hollywood.)
And Now For the Runaway Spelling Train:
“Close to the freways, movie theater,few miles from venice beach.Home feature 3 bedroom,2 full bath with bonus room can be use as private office.double car garage and long drive way.Front yard is a paradice place with beautifull king palms and manicure gramma.”
(Grandma must have met this agent at Nail-In-Your-Coffin Nail Salon!)
Remarks About a Listing with No Photos:
“Like nothing you’ve ever seen…just look at the photos” (All I can see is the idiot who left his camera in the car…)
A $12M Hosing!
“Ideal for hosing two or 200…” (The biggest hosing was to the seller who hired you!)
That’s it until next week, friends. Type with care, because I’m always lurking.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS IN THE WORLD, AND TO MY DEAR MOTHER WHO, ALTHOUGH GONE, WILL ALWAYS BE PART OF ME.
