No Pain
“Separate wings for parents” (I earned my wings and halo the day my five-year-old daughter buttered the railings at school.)
“Guess area” (Are you referring to my stove at dinner time?)
“New powerful mike” (…Sounds like Mike got lucky last night…)
“Substndard plunb” (…Yet not as substandard as your alphabet execution.)
No Gain
“Wrap this one up in a blow” (I would if you hadn’t snorted it all.)
“Modern constriction” (They’re called Spanx.)
“Screened porsche” (Designed to keep bugs out of the driver’s teeth, I presume?)
“Attic stairs drop don” (Local hospital admits Don in pieces.)
“Fountain needs new fusion” (So does Don’s leg.)
Really Lame
“Hysteria vine” (With this kind of sales pitch, I’ll bet your seller is a little emotional, too.)
“Lots of drinks & sacks” (It always good to have a sack to put over the head of the drunk you go home with.)
“Tip end” (That must the end that just went down in a pool of Vodka.)
“Stars blocked” (Oh please, this is L.A. – stars can buy coffee enema kits at Starbucks!)
“On sight super” (Your vision may be super, but your grasp of language is cloudy.)
Insane
“Wtih privat yard. Utility are included. Parking are avirable with additinal.” (Ahhh…ain’t Lithium great?)
“Ass for entrance” (Uh, pardon me…but that is usually intended for exit.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
