Did You Just Say That?
“Close to square” (Lamented SpongeBob SquarePants when asked to explain his lone pant leg.)
“Instant hog water” (Said farmer Fred sheepishly when asked why little Susie’s 4-H pig was missing.)
“2 inches rock hard” (Bragged Mickey Mouse to Minnie during foreplay.)
“Park only in detonated area” (What blew up – your career?)
Maybe You Should Think Before Speaking
“Hot and chick area with EZ freeway access” (For those seeking a brothel with a fast getaway.)
“Beware of speed dump in front” ( Severe case of diarrhea, I presume?)
“Cuntry estates” (Nope, not going there…)
“Garage touched in back” (Agent touched in head.)
“Sowstairs bedroom” (I hear that’s the best place for a pig and a poke.)
Bite Your Tongue
“House shits on one acre” (If I buy it, will I live crappily ever after?)
“Sins on hill” (Grafitti on a sign near the entrance to the Capitol Building.)
“Great location on Carol Plates” (Right between the mashed potatoes and the peas?)
“Road makes a poop before veering L” (Hence the inspiration for the Eagles lyric: ” I’m running down the road tryin’ to loosen my load…)
Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap!
“Can show cod” (Oh, I thought you were just happy to see me.)
That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!
